My Life is Horrific Chapter 13 — Ignore the Serial Killer… (Patreon)

I stood frozen for half a second while my brain screamed at me to move. Kira was right there, less than ten feet away, calm as Sunday morning. One wrong breath and I was inside his kill radius. I'd seen what he could do and needless to say it was terrifying. Was Killer Queen out right now? Was it behind me?

Fuck this.

I turned on my heel and walked fast toward the far side of the counter, weaving between a couple of moms with strollers and a guy in a business suit. My heart hammered so loud I could hear it in my ears. I kept my head down, pretending to study the pastry case like my life depended on it, which it kind of did.

Though a moment later Jennifer appeared at my side like she'd been waiting for the chance. She linked her arm through mine, pressing her body close enough that her breast squished against my bicep. "Hey there, handsome," she purred,. "You look like you could use some company?"

I barely registered the words. My eyes kept flicking back toward Kira, who was still chatting politely with the barista. Shit... should I do something? Nah fuck that, I'm not main character enough to fight with Killer Queen, at least give me a stand first. 

Jennifer didn't like being ignored. 

She tightened her grip and leaned in until her lips brushed my ear. "Regina told me all about you, you know. Said you fucked her so good in the back of her mom's car she couldn't walk straight for two days." She let out a soft laugh. "I've been dying to find out if she was exaggerating. Maybe you could give me a taste? Right here? Right now? I bet that pie case would look real pretty with me bent over it."

Her free hand slid down my stomach, her fingertips brushing the waistband of my jeans. "Or we could skip the pie and go straight to the cream. I'd get on my knees for you in the bathroom. Swallow every drop while you hold my hair and tell me how good I'm doing. Would you like that, quarterback? Would you like to watch me choke on you?"

I felt myself getting hard despite everything. My cock thickened against my zipper, traitor that it was, while Jennifer kept rubbing circles on my lower belly like she knew exactly what she was doing. 

She noticed. 

Of course she noticed. 

Her smile turned up and her hand went lower. "See? You're already interested." She pressed her thigh against mine, grinding just enough to make me twitch. "Come on, James. I'm wet just thinking about it. Let me take care of you. Let me suck that big dick until you're painting my throat white. We can be quick. No one has to know."

She was under my skin now and for a second I almost said yes. Almost dragged her into the bathroom and let her drop to her knees just to forget the guy with the severed hand ten feet away.

Then I glanced over her shoulder and my blood turned to ice.

Kira was standing right next to Claire.

He had stepped up beside her at the counter, smiling a pleasant smile while he looked down at her hands resting on the glass case. "You have lovely hands," he was saying. "Very elegant. The kind that make a man want to... hold on to them forever."

Claire laughed nervously, shifting her weight. "Um... thanks?"

Shit. I'd only looked away for a moment.

I pulled out of Jennifer's grip. "Give me a minute," I muttered, already moving.

Jennifer's eyes narrowed and she gave him an annoyed look. "Hey—"

I didn't wait. I crossed the bakery quickly and slid an arm around Claire's waist. "Hey, Claire, we gotta go. The movie's about to start."

Claire blinked up at me with confused etched onto her face. "Movie? What mov—"

I squeezed her hip hard enough to say play along. "The one we bought tickets for. Remember? We're gonna be late."

She caught on fast. "Oh! Right. The movie." She turned to Kira with an apologetic smile. "Sorry again that I spilled my coffee on you earlier."

Kira wiped a nonexistent spot on his sleeve and gave her the same calm smile. "Perfectly fine. Enjoy your film."

I was already steering her away, my hand on her lower back. Needy and Jennifer were still at the pastry case. I grabbed Needy's elbow on the way past. "Time to go, ladies."

Jennifer folded her arms, still clearly pissed. "What the hell, James?"

I didn't explain. "Just trust me. We're leaving."

They followed since I was already moving and I didn't give them much of a choice. We spilled out of the bakery into the mall corridor, the four of us walking fast past the pretzel stand and the arcade.

Claire kept glancing back. "What was that about?"

Needy looked just as lost. "Yeah, you went from chill to crazy in like two seconds."

Jennifer was still glaring. "Yeah what the hell is your malfunction Mitchell."

"Sorry girls, it's just... Stay away from that guy okay? The one in the purple suit. He's bad news. Really bad news."

They all stared at me.

Claire's brow furrowed. "What? He seemed nice, I spilled some of my drink on him and he didn't even get mad."

"I'm not explaining right now," I said, steering us toward the escalator. "Just believe me, he's bad news. Now how about we go to the movies instead. You can get whatever you want my treat."

Needy lit up instantly. "For real? I'm in."

Claire nodded, still confused but willing. "Okay... sure."

Jennifer huffed but fell into step. "Fine. But I want the large popcorn with extra butter, Sour Patch Kids, and a blue slushie. And one of those giant pretzels."

"Done," I said without breaking stride.

We hit the theater wing and I bought four tickets to Tequila Sunrise because it was the next thing starting and I didn't care what we watched as long as it got us out of the open. At the concession stand I let them go wild. Needy and Claire loaded up on candy and drinks, thanking me the whole time while Jennifer piled her tray high with everything she'd listed plus nachos and a box of Junior Mints. I didn't mind. I handed over the cash and told the kid behind the counter to add extra everything.

We filed into the theater and found seats near the back. Eventually the lights dimmed, previews rolled, and for the first time since spotting Kira I felt my shoulders drop a fraction. Claire sat on my left, Needy on her other side, Jennifer on my right. Jennifer immediately leaned over and rested her hand on my thigh, fingers tracing slow circles like she was picking up where she left off.

The movie started but I barely paid attention. My eyes kept drifting to the exits, half expecting a purple suit to appear in the aisle. Jennifer kept whispering dirty little comments in my ear, trying to get my focus back on her. I let her hand stay on my leg because it was easier than explaining why I was scanning the dark theater like a paranoid asshole.

Claire nudged me at one point and whispered, "You okay?"

I nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah. Just... watching... ya know...." 

She didn't look convinced, but she let it go and went back to sharing popcorn with Needy.

The movie kept playing on the screen, Mel Gibson doing his thing, but I couldn't focus on a single frame. Jennifer's hand had crept higher up my thigh the whole time tracing lines along the inseam of my jeans until they brushed the hard ridge of my cock. She squeezed it and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from reacting.

She leaned in closer, her lips brushing my earlobe. Her tongue flicked out and she sucked the lobe into her mouth. I felt her teeth graze it lightly while her hand stroked the full length of me through my jeans, her palm pressing down hard enough to make my hips twitch. "You're tense, quarterback," she murmured. "Want me to help you relax?"

I tried to stay composed and keep my eyes fixed on the screen like it was the most interesting thing in the world, but my cock was throbbing under her touch and my breathing had already gone shallow. Claire glanced over again, brow furrowed. "James... seriously, what's wrong? You've been weird since the bakery."

"Nothing," I muttered again. "Just... movie's intense."

Jennifer didn't let up. She sucked harder on my earlobe, tongue swirling, while her fingers curled around the outline of my dick and stroked up and down in slow, teasing drags. "Mmm, you feel plenty intense right here," she whispered, breath hot against my ear. "So hard already. Bet you'd feel even better in my mouth."

Claire was still watching me. "You sure? You look like you're about to bolt."

I forced another smile. "I'm good I Promise."

Jennifer chuckled softly against my neck. Her hand kept working me, palm rubbing firm circles over the head through the denim until a wet spot started forming in my boxers. I was rock-hard now, aching, and every slow stroke made my hips jerk involuntarily. She was enjoying this too much, the little brat, knowing I couldn't do anything about it with Claire right there.

I lasted maybe another minute before the pressure got too much. I stood up fast, dislodging her hand. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," I grunted. "Be right back."

I pushed past their legs and walked up the aisle. The theater lights were off but I could still feel Claire's eyes on my back the whole way. I hit the men's room door and shoved inside, luckily the place was empty. I went straight to the sink, turned the cold water on full blast, and splashed it over my face while the droplets ran down my neck and soaked into my shirt collar.

"Come on, James," I muttered to my reflection, while water dripped from my chin. "You killed Jason fucking Voorhees. You can handle one quiet little hand-fetish psycho in a purple suit. He's just a guy. You've got hella powers, if he steps to you, you end him. Simple."

I straightened up, wiped my face with a paper towel and squared my shoulders, planted my feet, and pointed at the mirror. "Yeah? You want some of this, Kira? Come on then, you quiet-life motherfucker. I'll fuck you up differently, you ain't never seen moves like this before." I threw a mock punch at the air. "That's right. Stay in your lane, hand-boy."

Feeling a little better I turned to leave when I caught movement in the mirror.

Jennifer stood right behind me, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and an amused smirk on her face.

I let out a scream before I could stop it. 

Jennifer raised an eyebrow, clearly fighting a laugh. "What the hell were you doing in here, quarterback? I didn't realise you were a superhero."

I straightened up fast. "Nothing. What are you doing in the men's bathroom?"

She licked her lips slowly and pushed off the door, walking toward me with that predatory sway in her hips. "I don't know... why am I here?" She closed the distance until her body was pressed flush against mine, her breasts pressed against my chest, one thigh sliding between my legs so her knee brushed the still-hard bulge in my jeans. "Maybe because you ran off looking all worked up and I figured you could use a hand. Or a mouth. Or whatever you want."

I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back a step, trying to keep some space between us. "Jennifer, not right now."

That seemed to annoy her as an irritated expression crossed her face. "What is your problem? You wouldn't fuck me at Regina's party last year, you wouldn't let me suck you off on earlier, and now you're pushing me away in an empty bathroom? I've been throwing myself at you all day and you keep acting like I have aids or something."

"There's a time and a place," I started.

"Yeah? And that time and place is right now," she interrupted, reaching down and grabbing my cock through my jeans with zero hesitation. "Feel that? You're still hard. You want this. So stop pretending and give it to me."

The last thread of my patience snapped and I grabbed her by the throat, not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to make her eyes widen with surprise. I then spun us around, lifted her up and planted her ass on the edge of the sink. She gasped, her legs parting automatically around my hips.

"You want it rough?" I growled. "Fine. But you're gonna take what I give you and you're gonna thank me for it, you little cock-teasing slut."

Her pupils blew wide and she moaned, actually moaned, at the words. "Yes... fuck yes..."

I kept my hand around her throat while my other hand yanked her shorts and panties down her legs in one rough tug, letting them dangle from one ankle. She was soaked and her pussy was glistening with the lips looking puffy and slick. I rubbed two fingers along her slit, spreading her wetness, then pushed them inside her without warning. She was tight and hot and she clenched around me instantly.

"Look at you," I muttered, curling my fingers deep while my thumb found her clit. "Soaking my hand already. You really are just a desperate little exhibitionist, aren't you? Getting off on the idea of getting fucked in a public bathroom where anyone could walk in."

She whined, head falling back against the mirror with a soft thud. "Yes... God, yes... harder..."

I finger-fucked her faster, thumb rubbing tight circles on her clit, while my grip on her throat stayed firm. Her moans got louder, breathy and broken. "Please... give me your fat cock... I need it... I'll be so good for you..."

I pulled my fingers out right as she was starting to tremble on the edge. She stared at me with her mouth open in shock. I stepped back, wiping my hand on my jeans. "Actually, I think I'm gonna head back and watch the rest of the movie. Looks like it's getting good."

She stuttered, eyes wide, still spread open on the sink. "Wh—what? You can't— you're just gonna— James—"

I turned and walked out without another word, the door swinging shut behind me. On my way past the concession stand I caught one of the teenage workers. "Hey, there's a mess in the men's toilet. Might want to check it out."

He nodded and started heading towards the bathroom while I kept walking back into the screen.

I dropped into my seat between Claire and Jennifer's empty spot. Claire turned to me immediately, her eyes searching my face in the flickering light from the screen. "You okay? You were gone a while."

I leaned back against the theater seat, still half-hard and buzzing from everything that had happened in the bathroom, and gave her a smile. "Couldn't be better."

...

The movie kept rolling on and after an hour it was clear Jennifer was not going to come back. I figured I must have pissed her off pretty bad by leaving her there like that, all worked up and dripping on the sink counter with no release. That was fine with me. She had been a bit pushy all day and kind of annoying with the constant hands and the dirty whispers in my ear while Claire was sitting right there. 

Was it smart pissing off a future demon succubus? Probably not. But I reckoned I could take her as I was now. If she tried anything, I could just absorb the ground beneath my feet and turn my skin into solid stone or reinforced steel or whatever the hell I wanted. And even if she did manage to hurt me, I healed now, motherfucker. The thought made me smirk to myself. Let her stay mad. I had bigger problems than a horny cheerleader.

Eventually the film wrapped up with the credits rolling and the lights slowly coming up. Both girls were talking over each other about how much they enjoyed it. Needy looked a little upset though. "I can't believe Jennifer just ditched me again. She just took off without even saying goodbye, she was my ride too."

I shrugged while I stood up and stretched my arms over my head. "Her loss. I can give you a ride back home if you want. No big deal."

Needy's face brightened instantly. "Really? That would be awesome. Thank you so much, James."

Claire nodded along, already gathering the empty popcorn buckets and candy wrappers. "Yeah, let's get out of here before the crowd hits the parking lot."

We headed out of the theater together, the three of us walking side by side through the mall corridor. Needy's house was only a ten-minute drive from the mall, a modest split-level in one of the quieter neighborhoods. I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. She unbuckled and leaned forward between the seats, smiling wide. "Thanks again for the ride and for the movie and everything. It was really fun. I'll see you and Claire back in school, okay?"

Claire waved at her. "See you soon, Needy."

I nodded. "Take it easy."

She hopped out and shut the door, waving once more before disappearing inside. I backed out of the driveway and pointed the Mustang toward the main road again. 

Claire let out a long, happy sigh and sank deeper into the passenger seat, her feet kicking up onto the dashboard. "Thank you for today," she said softly. "I had so much fun. I really don't want it to end. Being out of that house felt like I could finally breathe again."

I glanced over at her while I merged onto the next road. "You don't have to go back yet if you don't want to. We could hang out at my place for a while. Watch something, order food, whatever."

She thought about it for a moment, biting her lower lip while she stared out the window at the passing trees. Then she turned back to me with a smile. "You know what? I'm probably already in a lot of trouble for sneaking out, so why the hell not."

I smiled and stepped on the gas a little harder, the Mustang surging forward with a loud rumble. We made it to my house in record time and I pulled into my driveway, killed the engine, and we both climbed out. I unlocked the front door and held it open for her. "You want a drink? Soda, juice, beer?"

"Soda's perfect," she said, stepping inside and looking around while I grabbed two cans from the fridge. She took the cold can from my hand and popped the tab with a quick hiss. "Thanks."

She wandered slowly through the living room while she sipped, her eyes moving over everything. "It looks different in here," she said quietly. "I was expecting things to look a little different, but this is... nicer."

I leaned against the doorway and took a drink of my own soda. "I changed a lot of the house when I got the chance. There are less memories this way."

Claire smiled sadly and nodded, she understood exactly what I meant. She kept sipping while she explored, eventually opening the door that led into the garage. Her eyes went wide the second she saw the setup. "What is all this stuff?" she asked. 

I stepped up beside her and leaned against the doorframe. "I was thinking of going into the music business, so I used a little of my savings to turn this into a studio. Nothing crazy yet, but it's a start."

Claire looked genuinely impressed, her eyes lighting up as she stepped inside and ran her fingers over the mixing board. "This is amazing. I had no idea you were a singer."

"You learn something new every day," I joked, taking another sip of soda.

She turned back to me with a bright smile. "You have to sing me something. Right now. Come on, please?"

I declined immediately, shaking my head while I felt heat creep up my neck. Even with the mastered skill I was still way too embarrassed to do something like that in front of her. "Nah, I'm good."

She insisted anyway, stepping closer with a hopeful look on her face. "Please? Just one song. I bet you're incredible."

"Not happening."

Claire put her soda down on the edge of the desk and got close, still smiling brightly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "If you do it, I'll give you a little reward."

"Deal."

She laughed and clapped her hands together, then pulled one of the chairs over and sat down with her legs crossed, looking up at me expectantly. I grabbed the simple acoustic guitar I had leaning against the wall, the one I had tuned earlier that week. I had played guitar in my previous life, but that had been a lifetime ago. Hopefully I still had some of the skill left in my fingers.

I only had a few songs written down from memory so far. I figured I would go with the most popular one. I strummed the opening chords of Wonderwall and started singing. My voice came out amazingly as usual thanks to the mastered skill. I kept my eyes on the guitar at first, then looked up at her halfway through, watching her expression change as the chorus hit.

When I finished the last chord and let it fade out, Claire just sat there staring at me in awe, her eyes a little watery. "That was the best thing I've ever heard," she said softly.

I rolled my eyes and set the guitar down. "I wouldn't go that far."

Claire interrupted me before I could keep going, leaning forward in the chair with real passion in her voice. "No, you need to record that. Seriously. You have to put that out there. People would lose their minds over it."

"If you say so..." I agreed eventually, nodding while I rubbed the back of my neck, but I changed the subject quick. "So... about that reward."

She rolled her eyes but smiled, standing up and grabbing my hand. She pulled me out of the garage and into the living room, then pushed me down onto the couch with both hands on my chest. I landed with a soft thud against the cushions. Claire climbed right on top of me, straddling my lap, and kissed me hard enough it almost winded me. Her mouth was warm and sweet from the soda and her tongue felt amazing tongue sliding against mine while she moaned softly into the kiss. I kissed her back and moved my hands up under her hoodie to feel the smooth skin of her back while she rocked her hips slowly against me, grinding down on the growing bulge in my jeans.

She broke the kiss just long enough to yank her hoodie and shirt off in one motion, tossing them somewhere on the floor. Her bra followed right after, and I groaned at the sight of her bare tits right in front of my face. I touched them immediately, groping those babies and rubbing my thumbs over her nipples until they hardened under my fingers. Then I slid my hands lower, grabbing her massive ass and squeezed hard, pulling her tighter against me while she kept grinding.

RING

RING

RING

I groaned against her mouth. "Forget it. Just let it go to the answering machine."

Claire nodded, already kissing me again, her tongue sliding deep while her hips kept moving. The phone rang four more times before the answering machine clicked on. "Claire Elizabeth Bennet, you are in so much trouble. I checked the phone records so I know who you called. I know exactly where you are. You get home straight away or I am coming to get you myself."

Claire's eyes widened. She jumped off my lap so fast she nearly tripped over the coffee table and snatched the phone off the hook. "Dad? I'm sorry, I just—"

I could hear him shouting on the other end, his voice loud enough that I caught every word. Claire kept apologising promising she would come home straight away. She hung up after a few more seconds and looked at me with a guilty expression. "I have to go."

I stood up, still half-hard and breathing heavily. "How the hell did he know to call here?"

Claire grabbed her hoodie and pulled it on quickly. "He checked the phone records of the house..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wow."

She apologized again while we walked to the door, her face flushed. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't want today to end like this."

"It's no problem, come on let me drive you home," I told her as she got ready and we both piled into my car. 

When we pulled up to her house Noah was already standing on the porch with his arms crossed. He gave me a long, creepy stare as Claire climbed out and hurried inside, the kind of look that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I didn't wait around. I shifted into reverse and sped off before he could say a word.

The house felt emptier when I got back, but the memory of Claire's mouth on mine and her body grinding against me lingered and I'd definitely have some material to jack off to later. 

I grabbed a fresh beer from the fridge and dropped onto the couch.

At least the day hadn't been a total loss.

(AN: So James avoids a serial killer and manages to piss off another one. But to be fair he could fuck her up so who cares if she gets a little pissy. Anyway hope you enjoyed.)