Diary of a Demon Dog #26 (Patreon)

If you’ve been reading my recent entries, you can probably guess that life has been repeatedly kicking me in the dick in ways words can scarcely do justice. I dropped out of college, moved into the middle of nowhere for eight months, got married and promptly divorced, lost and quit several jobs, took seven visits to the psych ward and am now in a very unstable and stressful living situation where I can hardly communicate with my own mother. It’s been painful. It’s still painful. I am still doing the same type of job I did ten years ago for shit pay and hardly enough hours to survive. But I am surviving. I will continue survive. It’s in my nature. I don’t give up on life. I am physically incapable of doing so. I do sometimes feel anxiety and embarrassment. I came back to my old school for a sporting event. I saw the banner. “Always We Begin Again”. I heard that motto for five years of study but only understood it today. Every day is a new beginning. We are constantly evolving. Those who judge others only reveal their own ignorance. Life is messy and full of mistakes. We can learn. We can grow. Survival demands it. So I’ll be here for as long as the universe will allow. Not because I want to but because I have to. It’s my nature and to deny your nature is to invite endless suffering. Accept yourself. Know your role in this world and play it to the best of your ability. If you want to switch roles, be prepared for the work that comes with it. Make sure the juice is worth the squeeze. Finally, have fun. Despite this seemingly endless cycle of samsara, nirvana is obtainable. Though we wander through this world, the flames of suffering will eventually be extinguished. Find your joys when you can and try not to take everything too seriously.