Diary of a Demon Dog #28 (Patreon)

Another trip to the hospital. Another job opportunity lost. I'm tired of this revolving door relationship with my health. I've been trying to get better. I know I could be trying harder but sometimes it feels like I'm giving it all I've got. Insomnia is the real killer here. The sleepless nights activate something in my mind that would make Tyler Durden jump to the next galaxy. I'm not violent. I simply unravel entire lives and push all the buttons that I see around me. I don't hold back the truth which in many cases is worse than any underground fight clubs or projects centered around vandalism. I stare into your soul and tell you how you're going to die without saying a single word. It scares the shit out of everyone to the point that they have to call the imperial guard on my ass to get me to sleep again. They throw me in a pen with all the other non-conformists for as long as they wish. They want me to no longer be a threat to their "perfect" society. That will never happen truly. I am a threat to society. Always have been and always will be. The best they can do is slow me down so they can get their finances in line for when I rule this miserable rock. Am I bummed out about the missed job opportunity? Of course I am. I put in a fuckton of work trying to get hired there only for them to shut the door at the last minute. Do I hold it against them? Nah not really. It was going to be an additional job anyway. I already have a primary job, going back to school, my creative pursuits along with doing what Eris tells me to do. My loyalty is to my planet and its living being first and foremost. Everything else can suck it at a certain point. If you are not loyal to the land you walk upon, what the hell are you doing with your life?

When I gaze into the eyes of others when in my exhausted state, I see everything they want in life. Money, power, women, the usual suspects. All that want and greed yet no follow up plan afterwards. They want money to sit on their ass and do nothing. They want power to force others to bow before them to boost their ego. They want women to make up for all the times they were rejected in the past. All of it is bullshit. It's fine to want any of these things but if you want them for the wrong reasons, they will never come to you. Maybe that's why the job slipped out of my hands. Maybe it wasn't in the cards for me at this exact moment. I don't believe in destiny but I do believe in the fates, the old crones pulling and snipping the strings that connect us to the world. There is that time that even the fates cannot cut a thread. That's when you know you are truly all powerful.