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7/19 "stream" is up + another stream tmrw night! (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-20 01:26:21
Edited:
2025-12-24 19:57:51
Imported:
2026-06

Content

hello pengoon!!

uhm, i'm really sorry about tonight...been having a rough day i guess and felt so stressed out and anxious that I just couldn't do it today :( something in me just wanted to cry today i guess lol...

normally i try my best to get over things and push through and do what i can but yeah i guess pushing through today didn't really work. I think I've been getting better but I guess we all have some bad days right? It's honestly so embarrassing though for this to happen, so it just makes things worse and worse and it all snowballs...I don't want to have to cancel obviously, I want to be there for you and for you to rely on me...I will keep trying my best, I just hope you can understand that it's not always easy ;-;

With that being said, I will be rescheduling for tomorrow too, I still want to give you what I promised after all, I wouldn't feel right just leaving it like that. With a good night's rest and new day, my mental should reset back to being alright, I hope you can understand me just needing a bit more time 💙so 8:30PM EDT same time as usual here just it's tomorrow instead!!

sorry i'm kind of a loser stupid fragile and sensitive little girl ehehe...

and uh yeah i uploaded the stream to the gofile folder

although idk why you would want it, it's just kind of garbage lol me breaking down 😭just for completion's and archival sake i've included it alright...

hope you have a good rest of your night, i'll see you tmrw okay 💙for REAL this time!! 👀

BTW, might as well say it now, next week's stream will ALSO be on a sunday instead since I have an event on saturday i'm a part of!! so it'll be all the same as tmrw basically nyaaaa

Comments

Goatfort

Sending Hugs.💙💙💙

Anta

💙💙💙

Minus Neko

It's not garbage, I love every facet of you

Chaotixhero Entertainment

I'm surprised you're willing to leave a vod. Either you're not afraid to show weakness or... somebody here enjoyed it in a twisted sort of way Anyways, it is what it is. I hope you feel better

Skyunai

It goes both way sweetheart, we want you to rely on us too, its mutual, so dont feel bad about these kinds of things, it happens sometimes and we'll do everything in our power to accommodate you, you already do so much for us! Take care sweetheart, will be sending you lots of encouragement tonight 💙 Also I'm glad you archived it, these things mean a lot to me, it puts into perspective how much you care about us. 💙

Ike

I'm always here for you no matter what, darling. Take all the time you need 💙💙💙💙

Vic

take all the time you need zen 💙 thank you for always doing your best 💙💙💙

Space

💙💙thank you for caring and trying , take the time you need , it would feel wrong if you didnt want to do it

ThePotatoGuy

its ok, any time with you is a good time 💙 take it easy Zenya, you deserve a rest *hug*

Sharkington

hope you feel better 🫂

kawa6

just like you want to be there for me, I'll there for you as well. I won't always fully understand all the inner workings but we know that you're working hard. and knowing that we know sometimes that will manifest as stress that can come boiling out. It happens to even the best of us. that being said, i hope you were able to get out some of that stress through the stream. also never call yourself stupid or call your emotions "woman moment" please. Thats doing a disservice to your very _valid_ emotions, and theres no reason to dismiss them like that. Take the time you need to recharge and come back stronger! 💙always love you, all the best parts, all the dumb, silly parts and everything in between 💙💙💙

Cake

Everyone has days where they don't feel great. Don't feel sorry for having normal emotions. I've enjoyed spending time with you so feel better soon so that you can enjoy your own time as well💙

justAperson

Everyone has bad days some more than others and it’s normal to cry when things get hard. Never call yourself stupid as well cause you are so much more than that, we all see you as this amazing person who can/ will do even greater things down the line. Just take the time to give yourself a well deserved rest. Love you 💙💙💙

Neat0 M0SQUIT0

Being sensitive isn't a sign of weakness. Being able to share these show strength and trust, you should never think of yourself as weak, many people here may feel even weaker or even act strong. We will always trust and believe in you commander. ❤️

Budness

Love you so much Zen. all parts and sides of you and I'll always be here for you no matter what. Sending lots of headpats and beeg warm hugs 💙💙💙 Take care of yourself and rest up well darling. mmwah! 💙

Lalli

Love you Zen.

Amadis Anguiano

Oh Zenya, everyone needs a moment when stress pushes emotions to flood out so strongly. I was amazingly lucky that I was salaried at my last job before I was involuntarily put on the path to retirement due to disability, because my direct bosses were very understanding about all the mental health days I needed to take. Like everyone said in the chat on twitcast, it's all understandable and all want the best for you and your emotional self-care and mental health. Cheering you on for your public live stream tonight, and wishing you everything you need as always

DarkNozomi

I love you very much! You do so much for us all. Thank you for everything I hope you rest up and are ready for stream if you do so. I know things get harder than usual somedays but just remember we all are here and all care about you. I hope you feel better after just letting everything out. That’s the best thing to do sometimes. You do so much for us and I’m proud of you for being here still despite every challenge you have been through!💙

wasmuu

Please don't feel too bad, I don't like the idea of you doing a stream when you're pushing through feeling like that. I hope everything is okay. Love you love you love you

Shade

<3 Rest up, sending hugs. Dont be so hard on yourself, here for you <3

theDeathBerry

Love you Zen💙 Never feel bad about rescheduling, we dont want you to feel like you're pushing through if your not feeling okay. Your mental health is imortant so rest up for now okay.

Cat Pirate

Love you Zenya take care and rest well princess 💙

Karoh

Patiently waiting until you get better.

Rainy clouds

Will still be here for you if you need it. Just take it easy okay?

Daemon

Take care of yourself Zenya. We can wait for you.

Tomoya

I dont know what got you down but one thing I do know is you're crazy tough. I know you can bring yourself right back up and keep doing your best. We will be right here to give you all the support you need.

Jack

Special sensitive girlie 💙

tagster 619

No worries Zen, hope you get some good rest and feel better. All the love for are commander!

Nier♡

Oh, Zen. I hope you manage to feel better soon. :(( Please don't push yourself too hard just to try and satisfy us!! Your mental and physical wellbeing should always be your top priority. Even if that means you have to reschedule certain things. We don't mind!! Just want you to be happy and enjoy doing what you do. Love you lots, Zen. Sending you all the love and appreciation that I can possibly muster!! 💙💙

ZavoN_5

You don't have to worry about anything regarding disappointment or inconvenience, shit will happen, emotions will flare up, and life will life. Your emotions are valid, your experiences are valid, so if you feel like you just cannot stream that day then its ok to not, its YOUR stream and YOUR life, it's all YOUR decision it's up to US your fans to accept and understand what you want to do. The ones who don't can go eat crap. Whatever happens in your life whether its a petty argument that overwhelms you its alright you have the right to be your own person about it, to react to it how you end up reacting to it, it's okay, it's valid, you are human. Besides, you'll always have the true pengoons on your side, in that you'll never be alone, we love you so much. Hope you feel better, love you, cutie.

NM

I'm glad that you were able to let out some of what you've been feeling recently. Hoping that it helped make you feel better to let them out as well.

ExperTnot

Sending lots of energy 💙 💙 💙

Claymore 155

This isn't something to apologize for. I'm thankful you were able to use this as an opportunity to vent via your streaming. In moments of weakness, it helps to have others listen, and the longer you keep it hidden, the more it will build. Don't force with yourself if you aren't ready. These are still moments shared with you, all of you, rather than any kind of flawless, emotionless character.

itamiden

i wish i could hug you i’m wishing you all the best 🫂

Gale

You are you before you are Zenya, no worries, in a way it's sweet to see the girl behind the mask. While I would never wish for you to cry or suffer, being able to see that side of you is a gift of trust and I feel lucky to have gotten to know you a little bit better.

Shana4594

No worries, Zenya! Hope you feel better soon.💙🫂

TH3 GR8

It’s okay zenya we all understand. I myself have those days:) take your time we love you🫶🫶

Charlie

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you yesterday. I’ll be there tonight :)

coomer conrad

Comment sections is so wise oh my god 🫡