Friendship's Edge - Part 4 (Patreon)

Now available in ebook format at Amazon and where ebooks are sold

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Three Weeks Later

Wednesday 7:00 AM - Melody

Melody placed her newly folded napkin, in the shape of a swan, on the table next to her coffee. Everything around her bustled, clinks and clanks of plates and cups accompanied the sounds of grinding coffee and steam mixing in a chaotic symphony that had its own sweet aromatic rhythm. She took a sip of her coffee, staring at the door, waiting for it to open.

None of the people that came and went were the one she was looking for. She people watched for nearly ten minutes before looking down at her origami swan and glared at it. “Stop looking at me, swan.” She grumbled and flicked it off the table.

She put her face in her hands, elbows on the table, trying to keep her emotions from bubbling over. It’d been three weeks. Three weeks of going to her studio, teaching, going about her daily routine and responsibilities. She hated it. Every day was a coin flip if she would wake up furious and wanting to smash everything in her apartment or if she wanted to just lay in bed all day and cry. It was like being on a ship in a hurricane, riding the swelling waves and diving down when they passed. She was seasick and standing on dry land.

She wanted her normal life back. The early morning coffee and gossip. Movie nights. Texting nonsense. Seeing beautiful hazel eyes looking back at her as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered. Every day she’d been here, hoping Chase would walk through the door and grin, looking tired because he’d been up late editing some new novel. He’d come over and sit with her like nothing had happened and everything would be perfect. Better than perfect. It would be normal.

Melody wanted her friend back.

But it was becoming more and more apparent that wasn’t going to happen. After Chase left, he wouldn’t answer her calls or texts. She’d only been able to get a few fitful moments of sleep, all filled with dreams that were twisted with eroticism and anger and grief. She’d masturbated again in the middle of the night, trying to get that same initial release she’d had before. Instead it had made things tighter and worse.

Chase wouldn’t pick up the phone. None of her texts show’d they were read. She tried to reason that he was giving her space. Or maybe he needed space. Or both. But he’d be at the coffee shop, she reasoned. Of course he would be.

But he wasn’t. He never showed up. Melody sat alone for hours, making herself late for her classes. The next day was the same. And the next. The next. Chase never came. After a few days she finally got up the courage to go to his apartment, but he wasn’t there either. Either that or he was ignoring her even when she was knocking on his door, begging for him to talk to her. After that she tried texting and calling at least once a day, but soon she gave up. Not completely, but there didn’t seem to be a point in constantly calling when he wasn’t going to pick up. She’d have to wait until he came to her.

Waiting at their table in Grind ‘N Go was the last thing she felt she could do. Maybe, just maybe, Chase would appear and they could finally talk.

What’s there to figure out Mel? Seriously. Chase likes you. He’s liked you for… for how long? Since prom? Before that? How could you not have seen it?

She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. Waiting was pointless. Chase wasn’t coming. And she couldn’t blame him. After all she’d done over the years, all the early morning breakfasts and coffee runs with her gushing about the guys she’d gone out with and what she’d done with them. Bringing his face to mind when she recalled those conversations, the look in Chase’s eyes had been pained. It wasn’t frustration or embarrassment. It was pain.

Melody had been torturing her friend without even realizing it.

But along with that realization came something else. She’d been suppressing and ignoring it ever since prom night. Sometimes when she was with a guy, not every time, but sometimes, she thought about Chase. About his eyes. The deep hazel pools, like fall leaves, vibrant and full. She’d be writhing in pleasure, and she’d think of those eyes and her pleasure doubled, tripled. The fantasy sent her flying so high she never wanted to land.

She’d chalked it up to having a voyeuristic kink. Maybe she just wanted to be watched and it didn’t matter by who. But she’d never taken the leap and didn’t plan to. She didn’t trust anyone enough to try. Much like her feelings on relationships, sex was one thing, but a commitment was scary.

A chill ran through her as she stood up from the table, picked up Chase’s coat and slipped it on. She’d been wearing it every day since he’d left it behind. The smell of him was starting to wear off.

“Melody?”

The voice made Melody stiffen. Whatever hope she had that it was Chase quickly left when she turned to see Matt, the barista she’d hooked up with before everything had come crashing down. Somehow she’d avoided him all this time, or maybe it was just random luck and scheduling. Now she was face to face with someone she’d slept with and instead of having fond feeling or excitement, she just felt sick.

“Oh, hey Matt.” She picked up her gym bag and slipped it over her shoulder.

“Leaving?” He took a look at her abandoned coffee on the table then back to her.

“Yeah. Gotta get to work.” She answered dryly. As cute as Matt was, even charming, Melody realized with a sudden clarity that she had absolutely nothing to talk about with him. Beyond the surface conversations they’d had before having sex in the parking garage, they’d had no chemistry and she had no interest in knowing him.

“Cool. Well, maybe, wanna meet up after? Not… I mean, we don’t have to, ya know. I was thinking more like dinner. Hang out.” Matt gave her a sweet grin that probably made most girls melt. But it bounced off of Melody like she was a granite wall.

Melody gripped the strop of her bag and sighed. “Sorry, Matt…” She looked away from him back to the door, still hoping. Had she really been such a tease? She wasn’t ashamed of her sex life, or at least she hadn’t been. But after fighting with Chase, she’d started rethinking things. It wasn’t shame she felt… maybe embarrassment? Insecurity? Was it just the realization that after all these years, she wasn’t actually sexually enlightened or awakened, but she was just running away from something? Maybe she was trying to recapture that fantasy after her first time. To feel that intense desire penetrating deep into her not just physically but emotionally.

What did she feel? How did she feel? Melody had spent several nights on her couch, curled up and munching on junk food, watching period dramas, trying to figure out and unravel her entire life. She probably needed a therapist. 

“Matt…” She took a breath. “I’m sorry. The other day was fun. But… I’m not looking for a relationship. Not really looking for another hook up either.” She shrugged and tried to give him a comforting smile.

The man looked disappointed, but nodded and gave her a half smile. “It’s cool. I get it. But, if you ever change your mind, you still have my number right?” He winked.

She didn’t. She’d deleted it along with many other numbers of guys she’d hooked up with or had semi-regular meet ups with. The only ones she kept were those she considered to be friends, not just booty calls. Which just made things even more complicated. Melody had willingly fucked friends… but not once had she actively considered having sex with Chase.

Why?

The answer was coming slowly. Purposely so. If she let these feelings, this answer, rear its ugly head she knew it would change everything. As much as things had been broken, there was still a possibility of mending them. But the truth meant that the pieces weren’t going to fit the same way. So she was putting it off for as long as she dared.

“Sure.” She said and gave Matt one last smile before leaving, walking into the chilly air and marching down the block to her studio, trying not to cry.

— —

Wednesday 6:00 PM - Melody

“What the fuck am I doing.” Melody muttered for the dozenth time, holding tightly to her gym bag as she rode the elevator up to Chase’s office.

Visiting his apartment was one thing, but going to his office…

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t come dozens of times before, but this was different. She’d been putting it off as long as she could bear it. But if Chase was avoiding her calls, and wouldn’t even answer the door at his apartment, then what would happen if she showed up unannounced at work? Really she was backing Chase into a corner by doing this. He’d have to talk to her or make a scene by throwing her out. She didn’t think he’d do the latter, but maybe she’d underestimated just how upset Chase was. Was he angry enough to yell and kick her out?

It was unlikely. Chase wasn’t one for outbursts. He was too concerned with how other people felt. It was a virtue and a fault. But the last thing Chase would do is make a scene, so this was Melody’s best bet to finally talk to him.

The elevator moved slow, at a snail’s pace, making Mel bounce on her toes. Her lip was raw from biting it. She couldn’t escape the feeling that she was ascending to her execution.

The ding made her jump. A cool rush of air brushed against her skin as the doors opened. She stepped out, making her way to the reception desk. Raven was in her usual place behind the desk, hair down and wearing a nice red sweater and brown corduroy’s. When she looked up, a smile flashed wide across her face. “Hey there stranger. Haven’t seen you in a while. Been busy at the studio?”

It had never struck Melody how strange it was to encounter someone so casually after having such intimate contact. The way Raven was smiling it seemed like they’d never had the threesome. Was this what Chase felt when she so flippantly told him about her dalliances? It made her stomach twist with guilt, not for what she’d done, but how casually she’d treated things.

Oh shit! Kurt! Fuck fuck fuck! Why hadn’t she thought of this before? After the blow up with Chase. everything had flown out of her brain about the threesome and the fact that it had been with Chase’s co-workers. Now Chase had to come to work every day and be reminded of how free wheeling she was with sex with everyone but him. Her fists tightened around her bag strap and her nails dug into her palms.

She put on her best smile, trying to stay calm. “Yeah, just been super busy. Is… Is Chase in?” Her voice wavered with anxiety.

“Yep. In his office. Go on back. And try not to be a stranger, ‘kay? We miss you around here.” Raven winked then went back to typing on her laptop.

Mel walked past the reception desk and headed to Chase’s office. She tried rehearsing what to say, but kept coming up blank. The silence between them was killing her. They needed to talk, to say something. Cubicles passed as she set a brisk pace through the office, seeing various people working on designs and editing manuscripts or reading diligently through new submissions. She’d asked Chase once what everyone did in the office and when he’d tried to tell her, her eyes had glazed over and he’d given up, telling her they did “book stuff”.

Chase’s office came into view and Melody halted in the middle of the aisle. A woman was standing next to him as he sat at his desk. She was a cute looking brunette wearing a lovely yellow dress. Chase was leaning back in his chair, looking up at her as she said something that made him laugh. She smacked his arm playfully. Familiar. Like she’d done it a dozen times.

Melody took a step back. “Oh…” It came out as a husky whisper, hand coming up to her mouth to silence herself.

The woman leaned in closer. Her smile was flirty and sweet. The look on Chase’s face was fond and relaxed. Melody couldn’t remember him ever looking like that around her.

Her heart started racing. Hammering at her ribcage. If this had been a cartoon, her heart would have been leaping out of her chest it was beating so hard. The look in Chase’s eyes… it made her stomach clench. Everything inside her twisted and tightened.

She wanted him to look at her that way.

Fuck.

All the feelings Melody had been resisting these past weeks came barreling down. The very things she’d been thinking of that morning and tried to push away steamrolled over her defenses. They crushed her stubbornness and came screaming at her with flashing lights and sirens and blaring horns.

A tear slipped down her cheek.

“Damn it.” She muttered. This was what she’d been trying to avoid. But she couldn’t. She shouldn’t have resisted. The sight of Chase with another woman was too painful. There had been dates here and there back in college, but Chase hadn’t ever seemed all that interested. Now she knew why. Chase had been fixated on her. She’d gotten in the way of his love life just by existing. But now…

Melody turned and quickly started marching back to the elevators. 

Had she missed her chance? Had Chase moved on?

“Mel?”

Kurt’s voice made Melody trip over her feet, barely catching herself on the wall of one of the cubicles.

“Whoa. You okay?” Kurt stood up from his desk in the very cubicle she’d grabbed onto. He was dressed in a smart looking button down black flannel shirt and jeans, smiling at her easily. There wasn’t any evidence that she’d had sex with him by the way he looked at her. It was almost as if they were just casual acquaintances and she’d never rimmed him while he fucked another woman.

“Yeah. Yeah sorry was just…” She waved her hand, unsure what exactly to say. How could she even begin to express the turmoil and chaos that was going on in her heart. Because it wasn’t her head. Her head was very clear on what was going on. But her heart was complicating things. It was beating so rapidly she was almost certain she was going to have a heart attack.

Kurt nodded. “Yeah. Were you looking for Chase?” He looked back towards the offices. “I was pretty sure he was in…”

Mel shook her head, hair bouncing around her face in a chaotic mess. “No uh, yeah I mean… he was in, but… I, it’s fine. He was busy so I’m just gonna go.” Biting her lip again, feeling it start to bleed, Melody turned away from Kurt and started heading to the exit again.

“Hey…” Kurt came around his cubicle wall and gently took hold of Melody’s arm. “Hey… are you okay?” There was genuine concern in his words. He came closer and lowered his voice. “If this is about what happened… I’m not expecting anything. It was just… ya know, fun. I know you’re not interested in me.” His smile was actually sweet considering what he was talking about.

“You…” She blinked, trying to get her brain to catch up. “Oh well… okay I…”

Kurt smiled wider and leaned in. “Is it Chase?”

Her cheeks went crimson.

He nodded, that grin still wide and warm. “I figured.”

“You did?” She stammered.

“Sure. I’ve seen the way you look at him. And definitely saw your jealousy at the bar the other night. Kinda felt bad about taking advantage of… well ya know…”

“You didn’t take advantage.” Melody assured him. She was completely in her right mind when she went back to Kurt’s place, intending on engaging in the threesome.

“Not what I meant.” Kurt shrugged. “What I mean is, I could tell you were eyeing Chase that whole night. And when you saw the other girls checking him out, there was no doubt you were jealous. I kinda figured that’s why you left with me and Raven. Don’t get me wrong, totally feel like the luckiest guy in the world about what happened. But I guess I thought maybe you were doing it more because of jealousy rather than any sort of attraction.”

Melody just stared back at Kurt. Had she really been so obvious to everyone except herself? Well… and Chase. Chase didn’t think she considered him at all, not even as a man! How horrible was that? She’d been so unknowingly callus towards the one person she loved the most…

Loved…

“If I’m overstepping, totally call me a dick.” Kurt said, putting a hand on Melody’s shoulder. “But… it really seems like you both have it bad for each other.”

It was difficult to hold back the tears she wanted to let loose, but somehow she managed and took a deep breath. “Well… um, thanks Kurt.” Thanks for what she really couldn’t say but it seemed as good a thing to say as any. Giving him a reassuring smile, she pulled away from his touch. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see ya later.”

Without waiting to hear what Kurt had to say she made a swift exit, slipping into the elevator with only the barest wave to Raven before the doors closed. She pushed the button and slipped into the elevator quickly, pressing her back against the wall and letting out the breath she was holding when the doors closed and the elevator began to descend.

She banged her head against the wall, praying the elevator didn’t stop and just went all the way down into the underworld. Everything was ruined. She couldn’t deny what she was feeling. And not just that but others could see… they knew before she did.

“Stupid. Stupid.” Mel muttered.

The elevator stopped on the ground floor and Melody stepped out in a daze. All the way home, she walked like she was in a trance, barely registering anything as she went. Getting a cab. Going home. Walking into her apartment and collapsing onto her bed. It all happened in a blink. She huddled into Chase’s coat and lay back trying to think of what she needed to do… but only one idea would come to mind. The question was, could she go through with it. And if she did, was she prepared for the consequences?

— —

Friday 7:00 PM - Chase

I had been working late almost every night since… what was I supposed to call it? Falling out? Fight? I still couldn’t put my finger on exactly what had happened or what it meant. But that didn’t stop me from being stupidly petty and ignoring Melody’s calls and texts. I knew I needed to apologize. That Melody and I needed to talk things through. But the very idea of facing her again was as terrifying as diving into the middle of the ocean in nothing but swim trunks.

So, instead of being a mature adult, I dove into my work. That, and I started seeing Lori. Some people would probably call it dating, but I hadn’t defined it that way. We’d gone out casually to dinner a few times, met for coffee in the morning before work like I had been doing with Melody, but we hadn’t done much more than hold hands a couple of times during our time together. 

Lori seemed content to go slow, though she wasn’t hiding the fact she found me attractive. Her interest in me was something she wore on her sleeve and as nice as it was to be wanted, being pursued so blatantly wasn’t something I was used to. It didn’t make me uncomfortable per se, but it did feel weird. And I still couldn’t decide if that feeling was butterflies in my stomach or more like maggots in my gut. That seemed like an extreme distinction, but my mental state wasn’t what it should have been.

I should have been thrilled a girl like Lori was interested in me. She was constantly flirting and getting close, sending me all the signals that whenever I was ready, we could make things official. Whatever that meant. But I didn’t know if that’s what I wanted.

There was a part of me that felt guilty about seeing Lori. Not because I was betraying Melody, but because I’d met her the very next day after my blow up with Mel. It was like I was using her as a crutch. As a distraction. She kept my mind busy, so I didn’t have to think about how I’d completely ruined a friendship that I’d had my entire life. A friendship that was in tatters and there didn’t seem to be anything I could do to fix it.

I may not have directly come out and told Melody I was in love with her, but it didn’t take a genius to read between the lines and put all the pieces together. And Melody was very smart. Smart enough to know. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to return her messages. I knew… just knew that she would want to talk to me, and let me down easily. She’d try to preserve our friendship by explaining that she just didn’t feel the same way.

At least, that’s what I imagined. The alternative was… it was just too much to hope for. I couldn’t let myself go down that road, only to have it completely ruined when reality came crashing in.

Lori was safe. She was uncomplicated. There was no doubt she liked me and I liked her well enough. That’s probably why I felt guilty. It felt like I was using Lori rather than genuinely enjoying being with her. I could see the potential, it just wasn’t sparking. Not the way I hoped.

I leaned back in my chair, rubbing the bridge of my nose under my glasses. They were pinching. I probably needed to get some new ones.

A knock resounded against the glass wall of my office.

“Hey Angela.” I muttered, swiveling in my chair so my back was to her and looking out my window. It was beginning to snow. A bit early in the year for that but we’d had a cold front blowing in pretty hard the last few weeks. One minute the temperature would be a nice even seventy and the next hour it’d plummet to fifty. Seeing the small flakes floating down, becoming more intense by the minute, was relaxing in its own way, though it was going to make the commute home hell. “I’ll get the edits to you on Monday. I’ve hit a wall and I think I just need to rest my eyes and brain for a bit, ya know. It’s a good book, but there’s some rough parts and we are gonna have to get on the phone with the author…”

Whoever was at my door cleared their throat, interrupting me. By the sound of it, I knew it wasn’t Angela. I turned my chair around.

Melody was standing in my doorway, her hair lightly curled and held back from her face by a purple bow. She wore a long purple sweater and dark jeans that were tight against her subtle, slim curves. The sleeves of the sweater were slightly longer than her arms, covering her hands and gripped tightly in her fists as she stood quietly, her eyes big and hesitant.

“Oh…Sorry. Thought you were Angela.” I murmured. “She’s been riding me about this new manuscript…” I trailed off, looking away and scratching at my neck. I was not prepared for this. The fact that we’d have to face each other at some point was a given, but I’d been trying my best to keep Melody at a distance. Maybe the stupid saying about time healing wounds would be true and after a while apart, everything that happened would just dissolve, and we’d pretend it never happened.

But did I really want to go back to that? Yes, the place we were at now was hell. But at least I’d gotten my feelings out, or at least exposed them to the light if not exactly declaring them from the mountain tops. Did I really want to go back to keeping all of it wrapped up inside?

Melody was quiet, which was a shocking change. It was usually hard for her to let silence linger for longer than a minute. She always had something to say. Now it looked like all the words had dried up. I was responsible for that. I’d dimmed her light. That just made the guilt all the heavier.

She rubbed her hands together, sleeves pulled down over them like she was trying to get some friction for warmth. “So…” She bit her lower lip and looked away, cheeks blushing as she considered her words. That was new. Usually she spoke first and considered later.

I scrubbed a hand through my hair, pulling at it and wishing I’d done more to reduce the bedhead after my shower this morning. Not that it mattered how I looked, Lori seemed to like my somewhat wrinkled look and Melody never noticed anything about my looks at all.

The silence was painful. “Listen…” I had to break this sheet of ice that had frozen between us. The quiet and the tension was too much.

“Would you go out on a date with me?” The words burst out of Melody like a firework.

My tongue froze as I was trying to come up with an apology. It felt like my heart stopped beating. The words had come out like a sudden and loud declaration, almost shrill in their delivery. Melody was staring at me with eyes as wide as I’d ever seen them and her bottom lip between her teeth.

“I… wh…what?” I stood up from my chair, needing to move, to feel like I wasn’t in some sort of dream. Maybe I’d fallen asleep at my desk.

“I…” She cleared her throat and took a deep, slow breath, calming herself like she did when she was meditating. “I said, would you like to go on a date with me?” It came out clearer this time. The big scared look she’d had melted away to a more confident facade, though I’d known her long enough to know that inside she was probably experiencing the equivalent of a monsoon of emotion.

Was she serious? Was this a way to… to what? Make me feel better? Placate me? Was it a pity date? Maybe she thought I liked her because I couldn’t find anyone else. Was she planning on sabotaging the date? Make me feel like my feelings were invalid?

Idea’s ran through my head faster and faster. It was an avalanche of what if’s and maybe’s. I’d read so many novels and manuscripts over the years that all the possible twists and turns of the rom-com-verse came crashing down around me, all vying for their moment in the sun of my consciousness and confusion to be taken seriously. 

Melody took a step into my office. “Chase.” Her voice was soft. “I’m… I’m being serious.” She always could read when I was overthinking things. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” The tone of her voice conveyed nothing but sincerity.

My mouth felt dry, like I’d been chewing on cotton. “W…why…I um…” I wanted my brain to stop running amuck. But all the thoughts kept colliding like bumper cars in a carnival ride gone mad.

She’d walked fully into the office now, on the other side of my desk with her hands folded in front of her. It was then I noticed that not only was she dressed nicely, but she’d done her makeup, which wasn’t something she did unless it was a special occasion. Light purple eyeshadow and dark eyeliner made her green eyes pop. Her lips were painted a sweet, soft looking pink like bubblegum. A tiny bit of blush on her cheeks, blended with her pale complexion, making her look vibrant. Melody was dressed for a date. Right this minute.

“We…” Melody closed her eyes again, that meditative look crossing her face before she opened them again. “I’m sorry about the other night. And… all the other times before. I honestly didn’t realize… or maybe I just didn’t want to, that what I was telling you was maybe crossing a line. But in my defense, I didn’t even know the line was there.” Whatever hesitation Melody had before when she’d first come to my office was melting away.

“I thought about what you said. What… what it means and, I…” She sucked in a breath. “I think maybe I feel something, too. And we can’t ignore this. It’ll eat us alive. If we have any hope of repairing or… salvaging our friendship, we need to see what this means.” She motioned between us, her sweater sleeve flopping about almost comically. “You’re my best friend Chase. I really don’t want to lose that. But… if there’s something here, if you feel something, and I feel something, then we can’t let it… fester. We need to explore this. Whatever it is. And, the only way to do that is to…” She shrugged and a small, shy smile crossed her lips. “To go out on an actual date.”

Melody was always so bold and in your face and bright like a firecracker. Seeing her acting shy, reserved even, was downright astonishing. I didn’t think a demure version of Melody existed.

She shifted uncomfortably, continuing to bite on her lip as she watched me stand in utter, stupid silence. What was I supposed to do? The obvious thing would have been to say yes or no, but that didn’t seem enough. What she was proposing made sense. But I never thought Melody would… she never really went on dates. Not since college, anyway. And even then it was more just a friends with benefits sort of dating, rather than anything real or seeking commitment. She almost seemed to be commitment phobic. So her standing here before me, asking me out, was… it was like the United States suddenly getting Universal Healthcare. Not impossible, but highly improbable.

When it was obvious that I was going to remain a silent statue, Melody came around the desk and stood in front of me. She had to look up, even in heels, which I realized she was wearing dark black heels with purple soles, she was almost a foot shorter than me. “Chase.” My name on her lips had me shaking. “Please. Let's just give this a shot. One date. Let’s see what happens. At least then we can say we tried.” There was a tremble in her voice.

It was hard to look into her eyes. I was afraid I’d get lost. But she looked so sincere. And there was logic to what she was saying. If there was something between us, then why not at least try?

I thought about Lori, feeling guilty as if I was betraying her, just like I’d felt I was betraying Melody when I was talking with Lori. A vicious cycle of ridiculous guilt that really didn’t deserve to have such a grip on me.

“Do you mean… right now?” I had to clear my throat, my voice coming out high pitched like I was going through puberty again.

She smiled. It was a soft, hopeful smile. “Yeah. Right now. No time like the present.” She held out a hand, pulling the sleeve up to expose her palm.

I took her hand and felt my heart begin racing like I was going to have a heart attack. “Uh, well, what did you have in mind?” She was leading me away from my desk, barely letting me grab my coat (a new one, since I’d lost my wool one somewhere).

“I have some ideas.” Melody said and the cheer in her voice had returned, a little hint of mischievousness threading through it as she looked back at me and grinned.

— —

Friday 8:00 PM - Melody

He’d agreed to come with her. So that was a start. It wasn’t a yes, but she’d take it.

For the past two days, Melody had been working up the courage to confront Chase and ask him on a date. As hard as it had been to do, as scary as it was, Mel realized that she was excited too. All the over thinking and resistance to what she was feeling had been exhausting, but when all was said and done, she knew the truth was… she liked Chase.

What wasn’t to like? He was smart, talented, handsome, and sweet. There was a reason she’d been friends with him for so long. He was the sort of person you wanted around, the sort of friend that everyone dreamed of having, but didn’t ever seem to exist outside of television and stories. She knew she was lucky to have him in her life, and maybe because of that she’d taken for granted that he might be more than a friend. 

Now that illusion was shattered. The wall had been broken. But, what happened now remained to be seen.

She nervously folded the dark red cloth napkin into a rose and placed it on her plate, sitting in a back booth of Fond Fondue, a small restaurant that served… well, fondue. Melody had been to the restaurant with some friends for a birthday party and had been longing for another excuse to come back. A date seemed like a great idea. It was small and quiet and intimate. The lights were low and the music they played was soft jazz and swoony love songs. There was a heat in the air from the fondue pots and the smell of melting cheeses and chocolates was intoxicating. Almost romantic.

“Am I really that intimidating to be with?” Chase asked. He sat in the booth across from her, wearing a simple blue button down with his sleeves rolled up and dark washed jeans. Their first little argument had been that Chase thought he’d needed to change clothes, but Melody hadn’t cared what he was wearing. If he’d been in some ratty t-shirt and athletic shorts she would have been just as happy.

Happy. The way her stomach had been doing constant flips like a washing machine set to infinite spin had made her wonder if she was sick. But it was pretty clear now, sitting across from him. It had been clear since she’d stepped into his office and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose, looking frustrated and tired from a long day at work, that she was excited. Excited to be with him again. Excited to go somewhere, just the two of them. And though they’d done this a million times over the years, tonight was clearly different. It had to be. There wasn’t any going back to how things were before.

She grinned nervously. “You’d be surprised. You’re a pretty intimidating person.” She took a sip of her wine, diverting her eyes away from his crisp, hazel eyed gaze.

“Is it my resting bitch face?” He looked at her without expression and she couldn’t help but snort, almost choking on her wine.

“Don’t do that while I’m drinking.” She put her glass down and grabbed the napkin rose, intending to pull it apart to wipe her mouth off. Chase reached over the table, stopping her and handing her his napkin.

“Don’t ruin it. We can get them to bring us another napkin.” He said simply.

She took the proffered napkin, trying not to blush, and dabbed at her mouth, then smoothed the napkin out and put it on the table. Why did a silly thing like an offered napkin and a sweet word about her nervous origami habit make her chest burn? Had she underestimated her feelings for so long that something so simple seemed monumental?

“I didn’t mean you were intimidating as in hard to talk to or anything. I meant…” She nibbled at her lip. “I’m not sure how to put it. You’re the kind of guy that you want to hear his opinion, to know what he thinks. And that can be intimidating. People want your approval.” She sighed and met Chase’s eyes. She couldn’t keep looking away like some petulant child. 

Chase appeared just as nervous as she felt. That made her feel a little less nervous, but just by a hair.

“I didn’t think you needed anyones approval, let alone mine.” Chase said, his smile edging on a grimace. He folded his arms on the table and leaned forward into the light of the small candle in a glass that was on the side of their table next to the burner where they would put the pot for the fondue. 

Melody chuckled and mimicked his posture, leaning forward so both of their faces were alight in a warm yellow-orange glow. It made Chase’s eyes shine like hidden gold and hers like emeralds. “I don’t need anyone's approval. But… sometimes, there’s a person who you want their approval. You want them to see you and like you and agree with you and challenge you. It’s not need. It’s want. And I think wanting something is better than needing it.” She traced a finger along the rim of her wine glass, looking into the deep red. “If you need something, then you don’t have a choice. We need to breathe, if we don’t then we die. When you want something, it’s a choice. You make room for it. You seek it out and rearrange things so it’ll fit.”

Her eyes drifted up to Chase as she spoke and felt her cheeks turning as red as the wine in her glass. Usually she spoke freely and flippantly. Fast and furious and frenzied. Whatever came into her head came tumbling out. Tonight didn’t seem to be any different, but… the words that had decided to come out tonight came from somewhere deeper. It was like she’d been keeping the words and ideas locked away. 

Over the past couple of days, as she’d worked up her courage to ask Chase out, she’d paced her apartment, going over things she wanted to say, things she thought she should say. She bounced from tirades of anger and frustration over Chase’s lie about prom and the subsequent long standing implicit lie about his activities since. Not an outright lie, but he’d led her on. Let her believe that he… ugh, how screwed up was it that she was upset that he’d let her believe he’d had sex and was having sex? He was free to do what he wanted. He could fuck grapefruit if he wanted, though the legality of consent from a non sentient fruit was dubious at best. It wasn’t her business. But the fact that he hadn’t been honest, that was what was upsetting.

Then, she’d move past that, on to confessing all sorts of heartfelt things. She was like a mussy avalanche of valentine’s cards and sayings and poems.

Next, she was crying over wanting to fix their friendship. To go back to the way things were. And then she’d spiral into incoherent back and forth ramblings and jumbled thoughts and memories and ideas. It was chaos, and she was a whirlwind, throwing everything aside and destroying it all.

When she was done, she’d collapse onto her couch or her bed and just drift until she came right back to the diatribes and monologues to her ceiling and walls. If someone had seen her, they would have thought she was insane. And maybe, for just a little bit, she was.

“I’ve never really wanted to make room in my life for anyone.” She held her glass and gently swirled the contents, looking into it again before locking eyes with Chase. “The only person I’ve ever made room for, that I wanted to make room for… well, nothing needed to change. He just… fit. You…” She set her glass down and her hand slid across the table, touching Chase’s knuckles, fingertips grazing the hard bone and soft skin. “You’ve always just fit with me. Probably why we became friends so easily. You never made me move my furniture.”

He snorted an awkward laugh. “Furniture? And what furniture would that be?”

Melody rolled her eyes. Her fingers continued to trace along the back of Chase’s hand. The fact that he hadn’t pulled away in fear or disgust or confusion was a good sign. Or maybe he was just so struck with fear that he couldn’t move. If that was the case, then Melody was going to take full advantage of it. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted to happen, but she genuinely wanted to try to make this date go well. Whatever happened, she wanted to say she tried.

Tried what… that remained to be seen.

“Metaphorical furniture.” She smiled.

“Didn’t know we were going to get so philosophical.” A shiver went through his hand as she touched him, her palm finally covering his hand completely. It was soft and warm and delicate. She was trembling.

“Well, aren’t dates supposed to be full of conversations, getting to know the other person? Philosophy’s gotta come into the mix at some point. Why not at the beginning?” The candle light flickered, reflecting in Chase’s eyes.

“Is that what this is? A beginning? We’ve known each other for what… over thirty years?” His hand turned over, palms touching.

“That’s a long time. But I’m sure there’s still things we don’t know about each other.” She cocked her head to the side, hair tumbling over her shoulder and along her cheek.

Chase nodded slowly, eyes drifting to the side, looking around the restaurant. “Yeah. Guess that should be obvious, considering… our um, situation.” His hand suddenly felt clammy, fingers twitching nervously.

Melody gently took hold of his hand. “Yeah. We should probably talk about it.”

“Kinda heavy for a first date.” The smile on his lips was sad.

She squeezed his hand. “Chase. We’ve always been able to talk. We’ve dealt with heavy before. Nothing is too much. We…” She cleared her throat, again feeling these deep words that had been hiding inside her all these years that were just bubbling up like crude oil from the ground. “We can do this together. Let’s lift this together.”

“You and these metaphors.” He chuckled, some of the tension melting away.

“I read too many of your books.” She put her chin in her hand, smiling at him fondly.

“My books?” The look on his face flickered from confusion to understanding and then back to confusion again.

“Yeah. The ones you edit.” She let her nails trace along his palm. “I’ve read every book you’ve helped work on.”

“Oh…” His voice trailed off, cheeks turning rosy and scratching at his neck, clearly embarrassed and nervous.

“Told you. There’s things we don’t know.” Melody’s cheeks were just as hot. Never in her life had she been so… intimate. Dates, if she ever went out on them, were always simple. Movies. Lunch. Maybe dinner. But they were never this quiet. This close and meaningful. All those other men she’d been with, they’d never meant anything to her. They were fun. A great adventure and experience, but they weren’t someone she wanted to come home to. She could take or leave seeing them again. But with Chase… the idea of not seeing him again was painful.

God, how had she ignored it all this time? How had she missed it? All the times her chest had burned when she’d thought of him. Looked at him. Her body had been practically screaming at her for her brain to get with the program.

The waiter arrived and took their order. Things slipped from that intimate moment to a more casual and relaxed atmosphere. She asked him about the book he was working on and why he thought they’d have to talk to the author about the changes. He asked her about her ballet classes and if there were any stand out students this semester. It felt like they were settling into their friendship again. Soft laughter filled the space between them. The tension, whether it was sexual or otherwise, was relaxing, but it wasn’t gone. It was there when Melody touched Chase’s hand. When Chase tried to feed her a piece of bread drenched in melted cheese. The way they looked at each other when there was a lull in the conversation was like a simmering candle wick.

They sipped their wine. Ate. Smiled. Whispered and laughed. By the time the check came and they made their way outside, they had a buzz from the wine and contentment from their full stomachs. Snow was falling, lightly and in gentle flurries, beginning to stick and pile up. It made the world muted as they walked along the sidewalk, past the various bars and shops and restaurants and the loud and chaotic sounds of life and activity. Melody reached out and took Chase’s hand as they walked. Their fingers intertwined.

Eventually they made their way to an old record store to get out of the cold. Chase followed behind Melody as she let her fingers trail along the bins of records, pausing occasionally to flip through and pull out something obscure to show him. Neither of them were music aficionados, so they laughed about the strange band names or song titles, theorizing about what the music sounded like even though they could have easily looked the songs up on their phones. But they kept their devices in their pockets. Their time was spent completely engaged with each other.

When they made their way to the upper loft, where there were more records and CDs and even cassettes, Melody finally broached a subject she’d been skirting around all night. “So… I saw you with a girl the other day.” She didn’t want it to sound like she was spying on him or something, but it definitely came out sketchy as she looked at a rack of records, deliberately not making eye contact.

Chase cleared his throat, looking away from her too. “Uh, stalkerish much?” He tried to make his tone light, but Melody noticed the strain.

“No… just, I came by your office the other day. I wanted to talk. And I saw you with a girl, a brunette, the model girl-next-door.”

He nodded, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched.

“Chase, come on. We’re adults…” She turned to him, folding her arms under her breasts and looking up at him, trying to feel and look confident. You’re allowed to like… er, see other people.”

His eyes drifted towards Melody, meeting her gaze.

“Are you? Seeing her, I mean?” Melody was feeling nervous now, more so than she’d been feeling all night. If Chase was seeing this woman, what did that mean for her? Was it an obstacle? Was she too late like she thought after she’d seen him laughing with the brunette? They may have been out on a date, but that didn’t mean they were exclusive. There were no expectations beyond being together and seeing how things went. If Chase liked someone else, or even if he liked this other girl and Melody at the same time, it was his decision to make. Melody couldn’t force him to do anything or confess anything. She didn’t have the right to.

“Well, sorta.” He scratched at the scruff on his cheeks. “Nothing official. We’ve just been texting. Gone out a few times, though we haven’t really called them dates.” He shrugged. “It’s just… nice. Uncomplicated.”

Melody bit her lip. Complicated. Was that how he saw her? How he saw them?

“She looked nice.” Melody said, tightening her arms around her chest, trying to stop the burning feeling that was washing over her.

“She is…nice, I mean. She looks nice, but she’s actually nice too.” Chase sighed. “But…”

Melody waited, but Chase didn’t continue. She stood patiently, watching him, looking up into his pondering eyes. “Is this a ‘but’ like there’s more to talk about? Or a butt, as in the girl’s rear. I didn’t get a glimpse at her bottom, so I can’t really comment…”

Chase snorted and the spell of nerves and tension snapped. “Geez Mel.”

“What? It’s okay for you to like other girl’s butts. Though I don’t think you’ve ever commented on mine. What do you think?” Melody turned, lifting up her baggy sweater to show off the tight jeans gripping her ass and gave her hips a playful wiggle. “How’s it compare?”

Chase was beat red and though he was clearly embarrassed, he was having a hard time looking away from Melody’s gyrations.

Giggling, Mel let her sweat fall back down. “Not a butt guy?”

“I… no… not that…” Chase cleared his throat. It really was fun making his blush, but on another level, a newly revealed level, Melody actually wanted to know. Did Chase like her figure? Find her sexy and attractive? Obviously he liked her, but did that only go as far as her looks or was it her personality, or maybe the whole package. It was something every girl wanted to know, whether they admitted it to themselves or not.

Melody gave an exaggerated sigh. “Come on now. Every guy has something they like more than everything else.” She stared walking back down the stairs, wiggling her hips just a bit more than necessary as Chase followed her. “Some guys it’s the trunk, other guys it’s the headlights, and then there’s the fuel tank.”

“Fuel tank?” Chase twisted a finger in his ear as if he had trouble hearing. “Please tell me you didn’t compare a girls… ya know, to a gas tank on a car.”

“What? It makes sense. You put the nozzle in and you pump the tank full.” Melody spun around with a devilish look on her face. “But you gotta pay the cost if you wanna fill it all the way to the top.”

Chase pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold in a snorting laugh. “Mel… please… you’re gonna make me pee.” The laughter started to bubble over, making his shoulders shake.

Why hadn’t she ever noticed that he had such a solid frame? Narrow shoulders, but everything about him stood tall and grounded. Chase wasn’t the athletic type, his physique was very plain. Not out of shape at all but nothing truly defined like so many men obsessed over, trying to show off all the muscles that they had as if having muscles was special and unique. Chase was simple. He took care of himself and it showed, but there wasn’t anything flashy.

Melody never really felt like she had a type. She’d been with all sorts of men. Some more muscular. Some more flabby. Though she tended towards the former rather than the latter. But she wasn’t all that picky. Not loose either, she wouldn’t just drop her panties for anyone. Still, she hadn’t ever confined herself to one sort of body type. The body was nice… but it was inside that really mattered to her. And she’d never let herself learn the deep inner working of the people she saw. She was too afraid of what she might find. The idea that learning so much about a person, knowing them so intimately, it seemed so intrusive. A person’s soul was… personal. And if she got close… there was a possibility of becoming entangled. That had always been the scary part. The part she didn’t want to admit to.

But these last weeks and especially these last few days, she’d put that fear aside. Or at least she’d tried to. She’d looked at her relationship with Chase through a new lens and she’d seen wondrous colors she never imagined before. Maybe she didn’t want to get entangled with just anyone’s inner depths. Maybe… she just wanted to get tangled up with the one person that she already knew, but was too afraid that they’d find themselves in knots that would strangle them, rather than make them stronger.

Pushing aside all her thoughts, Melody slipped her arm around his. “Come on, we should get going. The snow’s getting deep, we don’t wanna be driving when the roads are like an ice rink.” She pulled him along, out the door, and into the falling snow.

It was quiet. Eerie in a way, but not scary. The streetlights bathed the night in soft orange light, reflecting off the falling flakes. They stood together outside the store, suddenly lost in watching and listening to a world that seemed to have pressed the mute button.

They walked slowly, letting their feet crunch the snow, leaning close together against the cold. It was clear the date was coming to an end. It was getting late. Stores and resturaunts were closing. Soon the only lights would be from dingy bars and streetlamps. But that didn’t seem to bother either of them as they walked back toward where Chase had parked his car. He didn’t drive often, the city far more adapt for walking or taking a cab than trying to drive and find a parking space, but tonight had seemed like a special occasion… plus he’d driven to work anyway and the idea of leaving his car in the parking garage overnight seemed silly.

Melody held close to Chase’s arm, squeezing it against her chest. Not because she was trying to get him to feel her breasts against him, but just trying to keep him close as long as possible. She didn’t want the night to end. She was having too good a time, plus, she still didn’t have the answer she was looking for. Was this a good idea? Was there something here that could grow? Would grow? If only they let it?

They were barely a block away from Chase’s car when he cleared his throat, making Mel pause and look up at him.

“Um…” His face was red from the cold… or maybe he was blushing. It was difficult to tell. “Mel…”

“Yeah?” Her voice was a whisper, afraid to break the magical silence the snow had brought on to the world.

He looked away, eyes darting to flurries of snow. “Do you… would you wanna… um, maybe come back to my place?”

At first the question didn’t make sense. Go back to his place? She’d been to his apartment hundreds of times. She’d slept over, hogged the bed and made him take the couch more than once. But then… the implication suddenly hit Melody. It was his tone… there was hope there… but also a desire. The redness of his cheeks wasn’t from the cold. Chase was taking a chance…

As far as Melody was concerned, this experimental date had been largely a success. They’d had a good time. But they always had a good time together. That wasn’t really much of a test for the problem they were facing. No… the real test… what would clear things up or make them all come tumbling down, was venturing beyond the bounds of friendship. Melody had taken the first leap by asking Chase on a date. He’d agreed. Now Chase was taking the next logical leap. Inviting her over after the date.

It was clear he didn’t expect anything. Chase wouldn’t ever be so presumptuous. Going to his apartment could be just like any other time she’d visited. They could make hot chocolate. Pop some corn and watch a movie. Maybe fall asleep on the couch together as they watched the snow fall, the world becoming frozen. It honestly sounded like a perfectly sweet end to a sweet night.

Melody’s breath fogged in front of her face as she look up at Chase, waiting for him to gather the courage to look at her. There was a burning in her chest, flowering into an inferno. Her cheeks were as rosy as his. Finally, Chase let his gaze come back to her’s. Melody didn’t hesitate, she got onto her tiptoes, like she was doing pointe work in one of her ballet classes, tilted her head and let her lips touch his. Soft. Cold, but with an inner heat fighting against the snow.

This… this was the test. Would there be a spark? A flame? Would there be nothing and they’d realize that tonight was a mistake? That they should just remain friends?

Frozen flakes slipped across her cheeks, touching the outer rim of her lips as they pressed against Chase’s. Warm breath mixed as their mouths parted just slightly. Her eyelashes brushed his cheek.

She placed a hand against Chase’s chest, feeling his heart racing even through the thick layers of his coat. For a moment, the kiss remained mostly closed lipped, but soon they opened, tasting each other and breathing each other in deeply before Melody finally came down from her toes, eyelashes fluttering as she looked up at her friend. Icy clouds of breath drifted around them as the wind whipped Melody’s hair around her face, snow catching in Chase’s hair, melting and giving it a slick shine that glowed in the street light.

They stared into each others eyes for a long moment before Melody finally spoke. “Yeah…” She smiled. “Let’s go back to your place.”

— —

Friday 11:00 PM - Melody

Melody watched as Chase shut the door to his apartment and hung up his coat. She’d been to lots of men’s apartments over the years. And she’d been to Chase’s place more times than she could count. But tonight was the first night she ever felt nervous being alone with a man. With Chase.

She’d never really thought much about dates or romance, but if she’d had to describe the perfect night out, this would have been it. Yes, it had been awkward at first considering their history and the fact that this step was a big leap. But it was fun. Precious. It’d filled parts of her she never knew were there and she didn’t want to let them be empty ever again. For a moment she was worried that she’d put Chase up on a pedestal. That she’d set this whole thing up to be too perfect and at any moment it would all come tumbling down.

The apartment was small, but much more high end than hers. A cozy living room and a sleek chrome and dark marbled kitchen. A large bedroom and bathroom complete with a separate jet lined tub and standing glass shower. It overlooked a park across the street with its wide windows along the wall opposite the kitchen. Melody took a step towards the dark gray couch, arms wrapped around herself as she moved before turning to meet Chase’s equally awkward gaze.

Suddenly, any notion of letting her hopes get too high, of putting Chase up high and lofty were swept away. The man standing before her was the same boy she’d known all her life. They’d played together, fought, laughed, shared practically every aspect of their lives with each other. She knew Chase. She knew his flaws. That he wasn’t perfect. And he knew all of her quirks and bad habits. There was no viewing this boy as some sort of angel sent from on high. She saw him for exactly who he was… and she wanted him all the more for it.

My god did she want him! Never in her life had she wanted someone more than she wanted Chase in every single way. She couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t hide from it. And she didn’t want to. Never again. No matter what happened or how things ended, she had to follow this want.

Melody held out her hand to him.

Chase looked at it, shuffling his feet against his welcome rug.

She smiled. He always was the shy one. Never wanting to make waves or make someone uncomfortable. They fit well together in that regard. He worried about people’s feelings, and Melody was the bold wrecking ball that would barrel through the awkwardness or fear. But tonight, she wasn’t going to break anything down, not on her own. She wanted Chase to want this like she did.

She waited with her hand out, patient. The seconds ticked by slowly before Chase stepped closer and took her hand.

Melody’s heart fluttered as she closed her palm around his and began pulling him across the living room towards the bedroom. They walked silently, footsteps eliciting soft scuffs on the carpet.

Chase’s bedroom was a large open area with a king sized bed and a nightstand on either side. His closet was an open, doorless walk-in with shelves and hangers holding his slim selection of clothes. He never was one to have more than was necessary. Melody’s closet was overflowing with clothes that she hadn’t even worn since graduating college, but refused to get rid of.

Pulling Chase towards the side of the bed, she turned to him and threaded her fingers through his, bringing his hand to her lips and gently kissing his knuckles.

“Mel… I… about what I said… before…” Chase stammered.

Mel kissed the back of his hand and looked up at him. “When?”

“During our… uh, fight. When I said… that I was upset that I don’t get to be with you…” His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed against his nervousness. “I didn’t mean… Like, we don’t… you don’t have to…”

She squeezed his hand and brought it to her cheek. “Chase… I would never pity fuck you.” She grinned when he blinked in surprise at her bluntness. He really shouldn't have been. Melody never liked to pull punches.

“After our fight. I was… well, I was everything and nothing. All those days we were apart, it felt like a piece of me was gone. And I don’t mean a piece of me like the other half of me or some necessary piece for me to live or function. I’m a complete person. But I was missing something I wanted.” 

Melody kissed Chase’s fingertips. This intimacy was so new, but it felt right. It felt good. It felt like something she’d been missing but never knew was possible. A tear slipped down her cheek. “I never knew Chase. I swear. If I’d known I never would have told you all those things, made you suffer through talking about…” Her breath caught in her throat.

Chase stepped close and whipped away her tear. “Hey. Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

She shook her head. “No. I know. And you didn’t… not really. You just pulled back the curtain. I didn’t know there was more backstage.”

His chuckle was warm. “You and your metaphors.”

Her eyes met his as she held his hand tighter. “You love them.”

“I love you.” The words were out before he even knew what he was saying. She could see it all over his face. How his cheeks turned so red and his eyes darted nervously, afraid that he’d ruined everything by uttering those three words.

Melody took Chase’s face in her hands, rising on her toes giving him a firm, warm kiss on the lips. “I know…” She whispered, her lips barely leaving his as she spoke. Keeping her nose against his, letting their warm breath mix. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that…” She kissed him again, feeling the tightness of his lips. “That I love you too.”

Maybe it seemed fast to be saying I love you, but they’d known each other forever. Spent most of their lives together. Sure, there were probably deeper truths that they still didn’t know about each other, but those were things Melody wanted to find out. The idea of knowing more and more about her best friend was scary, but undeniably thrilling.

Melody stepped back from Chase, hand on his chest, letting it linger as she looked at him. The way he was staring at her, it definitely seemed like she’d caught him by surprise, returning the sentiment of love. Her fingers played with one of his shirt buttons, and skillfully undid the first one, and moved down to the second.

“Mel…” Chase started to stammer, but Melody disarmed him with a smile as she undid a third button.

“Chase, it’s okay. I want to. I think I’ve always wanted to.” Her words were barely above a whisper, like speaking up might break the spell they were under. Outside his bedroom windows the snow was falling in earnest now, a cascading sheet of white drifting down and covering the world in a blanket that silenced everything and brought it all to a standstill.

He was trembling. Nervous. She supposed that was to be expected. It was one thing for him to have been harboring feelings for her for years, but the fact that he’d held onto his virginity, as stupid as that concept was to begin with, probably made him self-conscious. The world puts so much conflicting emphasis on sexual experience. On the one hand, having a lot seemed to make you too loose, at least in the case of women. But on the other hand, lack of experience somehow meant that you’d be bad at it, that you didn’t deserve it.

Melody had never subscribed to any of the typical social norms about sex and what people expected. It was her life, her body, her choice. How very liberal of her. But Chase was definitely hampered by some of the chains of social masculinity. No doubt he felt less because of his lack of sexual experience. That alone would be enough to make someone nervous and excited. But he also had the knowledge of practically every single one of her sexual encounters. Details. How much she’d liked it. That was a lot to deal with. Hard to not compare yourself to.

Her fingers moved slowly, undoing each button and then pulling his shirt out from his jeans. He wasn’t wearing an undershirt, so his chest was exposed as she opened the shirt. She’d seen him shirtless before at the pool and in other situations like at the beach and whatnot, but this… everything about this was different.

Chase was slim. A flat stomach but no real sign of abs like lots of men tried to develop. There was just a light trace of chest hair that was light blonde and prickly under the palm of her hand when she let it rest in the middle of his sternum. His heartbeat was thunderous and powerful. Melody closed her eyes, feeling it echo and vibrate through her palm and into her own chest.

The shirt slipped off and crumpled to the floor. Melody took a step back and looked Chase over, shirtless and in dark jeans. She’d been with a lot of men of all different body styles and shapes, though she usually went for the more trim and sleek. But looking at Chase, looking at someone she really truly cared about and, according to her own confession, loved, he looked beautiful.

Meeting his eyes, she reached for the hem of her sweater and began lifting it up, never letting her eyes leave Chase’s face as he let his eyes trace down her body. She pulled the sweater up, exposing her flat stomach, trimmed and toned from all the ballet and exercise. Pulling it up over her head, she quickly dropped it next to her. She’d worn a silky, lilac lace demi bra that held her small breasts perfectly, with only the slightest amount of overflow along the top of the cups.

Chase was a deer in the headlights.

Melody did her best to stay still, to let him look. For the first time, she wondered what he thought of her body. Did he like it? Was she his type physically? What about lingerie? Should she have worn something more sensual? Erotic? See through? Skimpy? Kinky? What about color? Did he care? Or was he one of those guys that didn’t care what underwear she had on, as long as it was easy to get off?

The sexual tension was ratcheting up, standing only a few feet apart, half undressed and looking at each other as if trying to figure out what to do next. As many times as Melody had been in this situation, it’d never been this meaningful. Breathing slow, trying to keep herself calm, Melody reached down and unbuttoned her jeans and began unzipping them, giving a glimpse of the matching lilac v-string panties she was wearing.

Chase sucked in a breath.

She began shimmying the pants over her hips, pushing them down her thighs and fully revealing her panties, smooth and tight along her mound. Stepping out of the jeans, she pushed them aside with her foot and crossed her arms over her stomach, holding herself as Chase’s eyes roved over her, like he was trying to memorize every curve and dip and line.

“Need help with those?” Melody asked, pointing to his jeans and grinning, trying to bring a little levity to the situation.

“Oh, oh right um…” He started fumbling with his belt, hands shaking so much he couldn’t get a good grip.

“Here.” Melody stepped forward, taking his hands away from his belt and replacing them with her own, pulling it open and then starting to unbutton the jeans. She was trembling too, but able to keep from shaking enough to get the jeans opened revealing his dark boxer briefs. The outline of his erection was clear and…oh, he wasn’t small, that was for sure. Not that it really mattered. Melody was a believer in the motion of the ocean rather than the size of the boat.

Chase pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them, almost falling, making Melody giggle as he pushed them aside.

“Sorry.” He muttered.

Melody shook her head, her smile almost painful because of how wide it was. She came close, taking his hands and moving them to her hips, along the string of her panties. His hands were warm, firm, and soft. Her hands went to his chest, running her palms along his pectorals and feeling the light prickling of his hair before moving them up around his neck, lifting onto her toes and pressing her lips to his. This time it wasn’t a soft kiss, it was more urgent, unyielding. He matched her intensity, hands gripping her hips tighter as they kissed deeper, lips slipping open and tongues exploring, licking and touching and tracing, trying to learn everything they could about each other’s mouths.

A groan broke the silence, but she wasn’t sure if it was his or hers. Or if it even mattered. The way her lips felt against his, how his tongue traced and touched and moved, it was like having her first kiss all over again. But instead of it being in the bushes during a game of hide and seek when she was in elementary school, it was the kind of magical thing you read about in stories and see in movies. Melody wouldn’t have been surprised to hear a swelling of music, an epic ballad playing, telling the whole world that finally, they were kissing.

Their grip tightened on each other, pulling and pressing into each other as they kissed harder, deeper. They were trying to make up for lost time. Like this might be their only chance to taste each other, to feel each other, and they didn’t want a single atom of space between them. 

Melody could feel Chase’s arousal through his boxers, pressing against her panties. It made her shiver, the feel of his hardness barely concealed behind just a little bit of cotton. Her stomach pressed to his, feeling it stick and pull. She was breathing him in, drinking in the taste of him. “You taste like wine and chocolate.” She whispered, parting their lips just enough to speak.

Chase chuckled and Melody felt it resonating through her chest. “You do too.” He murmured.

She kissed him again, harder, biting his bottom lip, making his nails dig into her sides. The surprising bit of pain made the heat between her legs increase.

“Chase…” She was breathing so hard. A part of her wanted to hurry. To be like those couples in movies that were throwing off their clothes and jumping into bed, from zero to sixty in a flash. But this was important. Too important to rush. “Sit down.” Melody pulled back from him reluctantly, his nails scratching at her sides.

He stepped back and sat down on the bed, unable to resist or argue with what she’d told him to do. The look in his eyes was complete intoxication. Whatever happened, he was happy. She could see it. If she wanted to stop right then and there, he’d still have been happy. But she wasn’t going to stop. She wasn’t even close to stopping.

Taking a step back from the bed, she made sure Chase could see her as she stood in front of him. Teeth grazing her lip, she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. It loosened, the straps slipping down her shoulders. She put an arm up across her chest to hold the lilac lace in place, keeping her eyes on Chase as he realized what she was doing and stared with rapt attention, both from his eyes and, by the looks of it, in his boxers.

Carefully and slowly, not so much in a seductive manner but in a meaningful motion, Melody slipped the straps off her arms and let the bra fall from her breasts, dropping it at her side. She’d been in various states of undress with Chase before, but never like this. Her light pink nipples were harder than she’d ever felt before. Chase’s eyes caressed over her. She could feel their trail, the way they moved over the swell of her chest, along the sides, around the bottom and up again between them, to her collarbone and neck.

“W…wow.” He muttered and immediately blushed.

Melody laughed and her breasts jumped. “Feeling like a kid in a candy store?” She asked, cocking her hip and putting a hand on it, looking sassy.

“Candy factory.” He answered, eyes darting from her breasts to her face and back. Clearly he was unsure if he should be a gentleman and look her in the eye or ogle what she’d just exposed to him.

“It’s okay to look.” This time, she let the seductive air of their situation fill her voice, taking one small step forward and letting her breasts bounce with the motion. “I want you to look.” She tried to convey as much meaning as she could into those words.

After all the years of sexual exploration, of having vivid waking dreams of Chase’s eyes on her as she fucked and was fucked. To finally have his eyes on her for real. It was tantamount to experiencing heaven. That was still something she hadn’t fully explored. The idea of having sex with Chase was…there just weren’t words. But having him look at her felt just as transcendent. She could get lost in his eyes as they drank her in. A tremor ran through her as she stood in front of him and her words slipped out, “I want you to watch.”

He blinked. “Watch…” 

Melody let her hand trace along her waist, over her stomach, and down over her panties, middle finger pressing between her lips and gasping. The heat and sensitivity was intense, more than she’d ever felt before.

“Mel…” Chase muttered.

“Just…watch, please.” It came out like a plea. “I need you to watch.” Her finger traced along the thin material, pressing it close and having it stick to her from the sheer amount of moisture leaking from her sex. The finger moved further and further, circling her perineum, and then moved back to circle her little clit. Her breath was coming in deep, husky pants.

Eyes fluttering, she met Chase’s wide eyes. He was sitting mesmerized by how she touched herself. In all the fantasies and dreams, the look of his eyes on her had never felt so heavy and brilliant. “Take it out.” She rasped, fingers framing her mound, middle finger pressing down the center.

“Wh…what?” He stammered, sounding like his mouth was dry.

Melody grinned, eyes seductive. “Your cock, Chase. Take it out. Touch yourself while I touch myself.”

Swallowing hard, Chase reached down and fumbled with his boxers pulling them down. Melody had seen her share of penises, big and small and thick and thin. When Chase’s emerged, standing erect and engorged, Melody let out a primal groan from deep in her stomach. “Oh… fuck.” She bit hard on her lip and her finger pressed into the opening of her vagina over the panties, pushing the panties inside her slightly.

His cock wasn’t the largest she’d seen. But it was thick, slightly curved with a bulbous mushroom head that was dripping and dark red from his arousal. It looked beautiful. Size wasn’t everything. Melody had learned that long ago. Men came in all shapes and sizes, just like women did. But sometimes, you just see something beautiful and perfect and sublime.

“Touch yourself.” She encouraged as she turned, letting her ass face him for the first time with the thin lilac string nestled between her cheeks.

Chase took hold of his cock with a trembling hand and started moving up and down as he watched Melody, her eyes watching him over her shoulder as she reached back and caressed her cheeks. “Have you ever looked at me… like this?” She asked him with a breathy tone.

“Like…this? No…no I’ve never seen…”

“No. Not wearing something like this. I mean, looked at me and wanted to touch yourself? To jerk off your cock looking at me?” Her chest was burning. She bent at the waist, pushing her ass out towards him, cheeks opening naturally to show the thin string of her panties covering her little pink asshole and the material stretching tighter over her slick pussy.

“Oh fuck.” He groaned, his grip tightening on his cock.

“Tell me.” She whispered, bending further till she was looking at him through her open thighs, hair hanging down and her grin wide and sly.

“Yeah.” Chase groaned, stroking faster. “I…I have. I’ve… oh god, I’ve thought about it a lot. About you with other men. Watching…” He shook his head and looked away, clearly embarrassed by his admission.

Melody reached up and rubbed her pussy while she remained bent over. “It’s okay, Chase. Tell me. No secrets. No more hiding. I wanna know.”

Still stroking himself, Chase forced his gaze back to her. “I’ve jerked off thinking about you fucking and getting fucked. I was jealous. But… but it was also so hot. The idea of watching you. I’ve seen you in ballet and in gymnastics. You’re beautiful. The way you move, you’re graceful and elegant. I know… I fucking know seeing you have sex would be like watching a master performance.”

Chase’s words made Melody’s face, and everything, burn. She never thought that Chase saw her that way. Admiring her body in such a way, not only appreciating her hard work, but also how she was a woman, a sexual being.

Standing back up, Melody turned to face him and walked forward. Each step felt like she was coming closer to a primal animal, ready to pounce. Chase kept stroking himself, watching her body move, the sleek muscles and curves of her body almost glowing in the light from the moon and snow outside and the dim lights of the room. She was a foot in front of him now, looking down at him with wanting eyes.

“Do you wanna see me?” Her stomach was tight as she watched him, his cock dripping and glistening with his desire.

“Yeah…yes…” He stammered.

“Go ahead. Take my panties off.” She encouraged, a hand caressing his cheek. She wanted him to be bold, to do what he wanted, not just what she asked. And since he was the one with no experience, she wanted him to get a true feel for what sex could be. Ironically, she wanted to know too. All the experiences she’d had were fun and exciting. But this… this was real intimacy. Dangerous and so sensual that she wasn’t sure how she was still on her feet with how light headed she felt.

Chase stopped stroking himself and reached out, hands touching her hips like she was the most delicate crystal, fingers tracing along her waist, over the string of her panties before pulling them. They slipped down, a soft little scraping sound as they moved over her skin, the front panel peeling off her wetness and exposing her smooth innie mound that was warmly pink from her excitement.

“OH…fucking…oh wow…” He was panting. His hands slipped away, leaving her panties pulled down just below her vagina.

She smiled. “Can’t tell me you’ve never seen a vagina before, Chase. I know you’ve looked at porn. I was there with you when you did.” Her chuckle was warm as she ran a hand through his hair.

He smiled, looking up at her and narrowing his eyes in a mock glare. “Yeah well… there’s a difference between pictures and videos and… and this…” The levity quickly left his voice as he looked back at her sex.

“You can touch me.” She said, What she wanted to say was, touch me Chase. Do whatever the fuck you want to me. Take everything. Make me fucking yours! But she needed to be patient. This was important. All of it. They’d probably remember this for the rest of their lives. No matter if they ended up together or not, this would be one of those moments that would stick with them until they moved on to whatever came after this life.

His eyes were on her, memorizing her curves and lines and shades. Then his hand came up and with two fingers he pressed on the bottom end of her vagina and moved them upwards towards her clit.

Melody’s legs shook. Her skin burned and broke out in goosebumps. Everything inside her roared to life and blazed. It was a gentle pressure, a smooth movement of his fingers along her smooth skin, coming to rest against her clit and then pulling apart to expose it. “God…fuck…oh fuck!” she was gasping, putting hands on his shoulders.

Chase leaned in, his breath like a burning breeze from a forest fire. His tongue moved and touched her, circling her exposed clit.

“AAAAAHHH!” Melody screamed, unprepared for the sudden orgasm. She had been aroused, but the sudden burst came from out of nowhere and shook her whole body. Nails dug into Chase’s skin and she hunched as pleasure crashed through her, her sex beginning to drip and coat Chase’s fingers with her juices.

“I…did I hurt you?” He asked nervously, but he didn’t move his fingers.

“Fuck…oh god no…no… please Chase. Don’t stop. Touch me. Please. Don’t ever fucking stop.” She was crying, tears dripping down her cheeks from the intensity of her orgasm.

Chase nodded and his tongue flicked her clit again. Fingers pulling open her labia to expose her pink. She heard soft whispers of praise and amazement as Chase looked at her, touching. His fingers began to explore. His tongue followed the fingers. His other hand grabbed her ass cheek and squeezed, bringing her closer, pressing the flat of his tongue against her, tip slipping into her tunnel.

“Oh fuck Chase. Godyes! MMMMM!” She was biting her lip, hand on his shoulder and one in his hair, gripping tight and pulling as her body responded to his touch.

The wet sounds of his tongue and fingers moving over her, revealing how aroused she was, made her self conscious all of the sudden. Chase was hearing sounds, slick and juicy and warm, and they were all from her excitement. Excitement that came from him. From his eyes. His words. His very presence.

One of his fingers found her hole, the tip of it pressing against her clenching muscles and she groaned louder, looking down at him as his tongue touched her clit and then the finger pressed deeper inside. The heat was intense. The stretch was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. Not that she hadn’t been stretched further, but this was her best friend feeling her, feeling her inner walls. How they clenched and squeezed his finger with her want.

Melody wasn’t sure how long she stood there. Holding onto him like she might float away. Feeling his fingers and mouth learning everything about her. Breathing her in. Tasting her. She was lost in the pleasure, the feel good experience of someone she loved touching her.

Fuck…she loved him. It was still so intense to think about, to realize, let alone say. But it was true, and she didn’t want to run from it or hide from it. She’d always loved him as a friend. But this was more. It was all-consuming, like a supernova exploding inside and swallowing her whole. 

Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled him by the air, not caring if it was painful or not, and bent down kissing him on the mouth. The taste of her own sex and his mouth was like a drug and she never, ever wanted to get sober. His hands gripped her ass and pulled her closer to him, but she pushed back. The kiss broke reluctantly, but Melody wanted more than just his mouth.

She got to her knees before him, looking up and taking hold of his cock. The feeling of it in her hand was like grabbing hold of an electrically charged rod. It was hard and warm, so firm in her hand, and the feeling of his pulse synced with hers. His eyes met hers, wide and almost disbelieving. It looked like he wanted to say something, but his words were locked away as he watched her.

Her lips touched his shaft, soft and gentle. There was a light smell and taste of sweat, of his dripping pre-cum. Salty. Warm. She kept her emerald eyes on his, wanting him to watch, to look at her. Lips pressing against him, moving upward along the veins. Her tongue would flick out after every kiss. Chase sucked in harsh breaths with each touch of her lips and tongue. She moved along at a diligent pace, over every inch of the underside of his cock, till she reached the tip and kissed around it, all over, letting her lips rest against it for a second each time until she moved to the very top and let her lips fully taste the pre-cum that was bubbling up from his opening.

Melody took her time, kissing and licking, letting her tongue open him and tasting more of his cum that was longing to emerge. She smeared it around her lips like lipstick and looked back up at him. “You taste so good.” She whispered and kissed his frenulum, making him moan, hands going to her hair and gipping it, but he didn’t move her. He let her move on her own, exploring him like he’d done with her.

Stroking his shaft with a languid speed, she continued to kiss and lick and rub all over his cock. Wanting him to feel and experience getting worshiped. Pleased. Her tongue lapped from his base to his tip. Keeping eye contact, she slipped her lips around his cock head and moved down, swallowing it till her lips gripped around the rim of his mushroom head.

“Ohhhh Holy FUCK!” Chase groaned and gripped the back of her head tighter, reluctant to move her but needing something to hold onto.

She moved along the head with her lips dragging and slipping and then swallowing a bit more. More. Melody tasted him and it was perfect, sweet and bitter and salty. Her hand went to his balls and cupped them into her palm, mouth moving further until his cock touched the back of her throat and there was still a couple inches left. That wasn’t a problem, she’d deep throated bigger cocks before, so she let his head rub against the back of her throat for a moment, sending shivers through his body and then swallowed him, taking the last inches of him completely.

“OHHHHHHHGOOOOOOODDDDDDD.” He grunted, arching back on his hands as Melody began to work him from head down to the balls over and over, slowly at first, and then faster. Faster. Lips dragging and gripping, tongue flashing and swirling as she began to give him a deep blowjob. Letting her spit drip down his shaft, over his balls.

Gluk glug gluk gluck gluck.

The moans and sounds of her throat filled the room. She pulled off his cock for a moment, taking deep breaths. Strings of spit and saliva dripped and stretched from his cock to her lips. Panting breaths, dripping wet threads fell onto her breasts and chest. Melody looked up at Chase and met his eyes again, hard and filled with lust. She stroked him faster, gripping him tightly and then plunged her mouth back onto him, taking him with eager need.

“Fuck. Oh fuck Mel please oh god!” His hand held the back of her head as she moved faster, making him shake. She squeezed his balls tighter, making him groan in ways she was sure he’d never done before. And just when she felt him getting close, the tell-tale signs of his skin heating up, his balls tightening, cock throbbing inside her throat, she pulled off with a gasp.

Chase fell back on the bed with a groan of disappointment and relief.

Mel kept hold of his cock and gently stroked it, spreading the spit up and down over him, getting him slick and keeping him throbbing.

“Chase.” She whispered.

He looked up with foggy eyes and a face that was flushed with excitement.

She leaned in and tapped his cock against her lips. “Do you want to fuck me?”

That seemed to clear up whatever sexual fog was clouding his senses. “I…” After everything they’d just done, he was still hesitant and in disbelief.

Melody found that hesitation so cute. “It’s okay Chase.” She kissed his cock again. “Tell me.”

“Y…yeah… oh fuck Melody I… I want…”

“How long? Since prom? Before? Tell me.” She wanted to know. Needed to know. How long had her best friend been looking at her and thinking lewd and maybe ever perverted thoughts? She was sure he’d looked at her over the years and appreciated her body. She’d done the same for him, though it was more about his personality than his looks. Chase’s kindness and concern for others always made her look at him with admiration. A good man was sexy, no matter what sort of body he was in.

“Mel…”

“Be honest. Tell me everything.” She kissed along his shaft. Rubbing her lips along him, keeping him erect.

“Do you… remember that pool party when we were in eighth grade?” He was breathing heavily through his nose as he looked down at Melody, worshiping and teasing his penis.

“Yeah.” She grinned, her face next to his cock, pressed against her cheek. The party had been a church activity for the youth. They’d rented out the local pool to throw an end of summer party. She didn’t remember much about the activities, but she did remember watching Chase sit on a lounge chair and pull out a book, proceeding to read almost the entire time. There were two exceptions. One was to get food. The second was when Melody came over and lay in the lounge next to him to dry off for a while. She wasn’t one for long silences, so she’d begun giving Chase question after question about the book he was reading and why he wasn’t swimming. It was just idol conversation, nothing deep or special. But she still remembered it.

“When you sat next to me… in your bathing suit…” He groaned as she flexed her grip on his cock.

Melody giggled. “You mean that old Sailor Moon one?” The thought of Chase getting excited over something as simple as the one-piece swimsuit she’d worn, printed to look like Sailor Moon’s costume, was thrilling and absolutely adorable.

He nodded, clearly embarrassed.

Her lips brushed against his tip. “Wow. So you’re easy to please, huh?” She gave him a wink. “Was it just how I looked in it? Or when I was wet? Or maybe you were being a bad boy and looking at my camel toe?” She grazed her teeth against the sensitive underside of his cockhead.

“Fuuuck.” He fell back on the bed and grabbed a pillow, putting it over his face. “Kill me now.” He muttered, words muffled by the pillow.

Melody let out a cheerful laugh, then got up and crawled onto the bed, laying next to Chase and pulling the pillow away from his face. Putting a hand on his cheek, turning him to look at her, she locked eyes with him, all the sexual tension temporarily paused. It was still thick in the air, but the look they held each other with was tender and simple. “Don’t be embarrassed about what you like. It’s cute. I like that you could get aroused by me in something so simple. Was that the first time you ever jerked off thinking of me?” Her hand went back to his penis, stroking it, feeling the heat and slickness of it. It made her chest burn.

Chase nodded, looking deep into her eyes as she stroked him. “Yeah…” His voice came out strained. “I went home… I…. mmm mfuckk, I thought about your camel toe, your ass, your chest.”

“What did you imagine doing to me?”

This made his cheeks an even darker red. “I… not really anything… just… looking at you. Watching you. I imagined you showing off to me. Exposing yourself or hiding yourself, teasing me. I… I thought about you just laying next to me rubbing yourself, touching, playing, showing off…” As Chase confessed, Melody inched closer, her breasts pressed against his arm. She kissed along his chest while she jerked him off, letting his orgasm build again.

It wasn’t lost on Melody that Chase’s fantasy was similar to hers, like after prom. His eyes on her as she was sexual. Watching. Both of them finding some deep-seated pleasure in the act of sexual gratification. He’d imagined watching her. She’d imagined being watched. Two pieces of a puzzle somehow finding each other in the world of so many pieces, it would have seemed impossible.

Her tongue traced around Chase’s nipple. His cock pulsed and a fresh dose of pre-cum oozed from his cock and along his shaft, coating her hand. The sound of his moans was driving Melody to the brink of another orgasm without even touching herself.

Was this what real sexual pleasure was? The deep connection? More than the physical? It felt like she’d been missing something so fundamentally important that she wondered how she had even been experiencing satisfaction until now.

She moved her lips up and kissed Chase’s mouth deep and hard. “Chase…” she breathed. “I want you…” 

He kissed back, lips sticking together and tongues flicking. “I want you too…”

Releasing his cock, she took hold of his shoulder and urged him to roll over so he was on top of her, hovering over her with his legs straddling her and her thighs wide, letting his violently red dripping cock have unfettered access to her opening.

“Wh…wait…” Chase looked down at her, concern on his face as well as more embarrassment. “I don’t have any condoms.”

Shit!

Of all the things Melody had thought about and tried to plan for, this hadn’t been one of them. She hadn’t been sure they were going to have sex. What if the date had gone bad? And even if it had been good, that didn’t mean they’d end up where they were now. Yes, Melody was notorious for sex without much more than a few pleasantries, but Chase was more than a quick romp in the hay. She’d wanted more. Needed more. And now… now they were here, only to have something come in between them again.

Unless…

Melody starred into her friend's eyes. Feeling the heat of his body just a foot away from hers. How he was looking at her with only the utmost of concern, even though it was clear he wanted her. But he would stop, no hesitation, if it meant she was uncomfortable. Every experience she’d had before had used protection, but she was on birth control as well, she wasn’t stupid enough to believe that condoms were enough. Her mother, though not familiar with her sexual proclivities, had instilled a good sense of responsibility in Melody, and she nurtured it with pride. Even when the guys had a clean bill of health, she still insisted on protection and the men had acquiesced without much grumbling. She was “putting out” after all, so what was a little latex if they had a good time?

For her it had been more than just protecting herself from disease or unwanted pregnancy. It was trust. It was intimacy. Something she’d been afraid. Or maybe she’d just been waiting for the right person.

This person.

She took Chase’s face in her hands, keeping a firm hold of his attention. “It’s okay.” It was a soft whisper, but it was clear like a bell. “Chase. I trust you.” The kiss she gave him was tender. The sort of kiss she imagined…in her most fanciful dreams, was the sort of kiss she’d give the man she married on their wedding day. “I want you inside me.”

The words sent a massive shudder through her best friend and with a quick glance down at his erection it seemed like it grew even more with the arousal from her statement.

“Are…sure?” He stammered, all the blood leaving his head going straight down to his other head.

Leaning up, she kissed him again. “I want you inside me, Chase. Please.” But she didn’t wait for him to move. Melody reached down, taking hold of him and guided him to her pussy. Letting his dripping tip rub over her labia, a slick trail of pre-cum sticking to her pale skin. Her lips opened around the tip, thick warm wetness meeting his sensitive skin. They both gasped at the touch, the intense intimate feeling. His cock head nestled into her opening and her eyes met his again.

Melody nodded. Chase nodded. And keeping that intense visual contact, Chase pushed his hips forward and his cock slowly pressed against her pussy. It opened. Muscles stretched around his intruding head and swallowed him reluctantly, yet eagerly.

Melody’s eyes widened at the penetration. The feeling of skin on skin. Of the curve of his cock, the skin and veins and ridges that were molded to her, tunnel closing tightly around him, sucking him in and yet trying to push him out as she clenched. Tears filled her vision as he pushed inside steadily, the head, an inch, another. More. More. “Oh…oh Chase! Oh my god!” She kept her hands on his cheeks, watching his reaction as he entered her. There was bliss, pain, nervous trepidation, desire, fear. It flickered faster than a film strip across her friend's face but it was all wrapped in the look of complete and utter love.

How had she missed it all these years? Chase loved her so intensely. So completely. And she’d just been sitting across from him, oblivious.

“Chase!” She groaned. “Oh fuck… please… keep going…”

He just nodded, continuing to slide himself inside her.

He wasn’t the largest shed had, or the longest, but the feeling of him was greater and more intense and perfect than anything she could have ever imagined. An orgasm burst inside her like an exploding star. “Yes…yessssyesyesss Oh fucking god Chase I’m cumming. You’re making me cum! GODDDDDD!” She arched into him, making his cock sink the rest of the way inside her, his balls hitting her ass with a wet smack and her pussy squeezing him almost painfully by the way he grunted and shook.

Melody looked down the length of her body and saw their union. His pubic hair, a light brown and kinky, pressed firmly against her smooth labia. “Fuck.” She was crying. Tears of utter pleasure and disbelief. Her friend was inside her, bare. Her first bare cock. And it was his! It was always supposed to be his!

She pulled him close, breasts smashed against his chest as she bit his ear and her tears wetted his cheeks. “Fuck me. Fuck me Chase. Please!”

Her friend didn’t have any words. His hips moved, sliding out to just the tip and then thrusting back in firmly making her whole body shake. “Godfuckingyes!” She moaned loudly against his shoulder, biting down. Her nails raked his back. “Don’t stop. Do it. Fuck me, Chase!”

“Mel…I…” His voice was strained. It felt like he was holding back.

“Fuck me.” She whispered again. “You’re not going to hurt me. You could never hurt me.” She licked along his neck to his ear. “Please Chase. I need you.”

He started to move. Building up a rhythm. Her tunnel gripped him harder than she’d ever thought imaginable. Cries of passion mixed with Chase’s heavy grunts and moans, hums of concentration as he experienced her. She’d almost forgotten. This was Chase’s first time. His first experience being inside a woman. That made everything even more fierce.

Plap! Plap! Plap!

The sound of their skin meeting, the wet slick juices making it echo in the apartment, made Melody hold on tighter. Holding on for dear life. His cock rubbed inside her. Juices coated him, sticking to his balls and dripping down along her labia and ass. It sounded like lapping waves against perilous rocks. She was panting, sweating. Everything was slick and sticky. They held each other tight, her face in his shoulder, nipping and biting, while he was nestled in the crook of her neck, kissing every few thrusts, moist breath burning her skin.

Soon Melody was arching again, cumming on Chase’s cock as he continued his relentless rhythm of thrusting inside her, his tip rubbing against her g-spot perfectly.

“Mel… Mel…” Chase choked through his increasing passion. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum…wh…where…”

Was he asking where he should cum? She couldn’t tell. But there was no other answer for her to give, than the one that immediately left her lips. “In me. Cum inside me, Chase. Please. Fuck please, I have to feel you cum inside me!”

This time he didn’t hesitate or ask if she was sure. He pushed himself up, hands on either side of her head to steady himself and started hammering his hips into her.

“Oh god fucking yes yes yes!” She screamed, still crying, tears smearing her eyeliner. She put a hand to his burning, sweaty cheek. “Please! Oh god Chase! CHASE! CUM INSIDE MY PUSSY!” She screamed as an orgasm erupted inside her and made her clench his cock. That brought him to his own climax.

“AAAHHHGGHHH!” He ejaculated, both metaphorically and physically. Chase’s cock pulsed inside her and shot his load, thick hard jets deep inside. It was a new sensation that Melody had never experienced before. Alway before it had been the man shooting into a condom, so the feeling had mostly been like feeling something expand inside her. This was like a jet of pure boiling heat and thick stickiness that coated her tunnel, every inch and little ridge and dip inside her pussy getting coated in his semen.

“Fuckfuckfuck! Oh god fuck I feel it! Shit! I feel your cum!” She screamed and they crashed against each other. Kissing hard and deep and urgent, biting lips and teeth scraping and tongues lashing. Melody wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping him deep inside her as he kept pulsing, as if he’d been saving up this orgasm for over thirty years. His body convulsed. She shook. They gripped each other, trying to stay afloat as the tide of their desire tried to wash them away and take them away into the sea.

Silence descended in the room. Outside, the snow was whipping against the windows, the whole world covered in white. The only other sound was the friend’s labored breaths as they lay together, holding tight, not wanting to let go.

Melody rubbed her nose against Chase’s neck, her lips leaving light trails along his sweaty skin. He did the same, kissing her shoulder, hands in her hair.

“I think this was a pretty good date.” She whispered with an exhausted grin.

Chase laughed, the sound tight and rough. “I don’t think I’ve had a better date.”

They turned their faces to each other and kissed, naturally, as if they’d been doing it for years.

“Think you want another?” She asked, kissing his nose.

He held her gaze, both with lazy looks of exhaustion. “I think I want a million more.”

Her fingers threaded through his matted hair. “Me too.”

They nestled into each other, laying naked on the bed. Chase’s cock, though deflating now, was still inside her and Melody felt the thick cum leaking out, down her ass along her asshole and onto the bed. She didn’t care. It felt so good. Everything felt so good.

Cuddled together, their blood cooling, breaths coming slow and even, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

— —

Saturday 4:00 AM - Chase

The room was chilled, cold seeping in from the windows as the snow continued to fall in the darkness. Soft ambient light reflected off the pure white, giving the world and the dark bedroom a soft, eerie sort of glow. My eyes opened slowly, sleep keeping them closed before I rubbed it away. Something shifted against me, warm and soft. I looked down to see Melody resting her head against my shoulder, rubbing her nose and cheek against me, hand on my chest. The sheet of my bed slipped down and exposed her breast, the nipple a mixture of pale pink and blue in the snowy light.

Just the sight of her, content and sleeping and so utterly beautiful, made my heart swell and… well, other things swelled too. I suppose I should be embarrassed, or maybe ashamed. I didn’t want to objectify Mel, but… damn, she was sexy. Oh god, did that sound cliche. My head hit my pillow, forcing myself to stare up at the dark ceiling, trying to make my erection go away.

Usually I would have just taken care of it. Most guys will tell you when you get an erection, it's better to take care of it than to just ignore it. That just leads to pent up energy and frustration. But I wasn’t about to jerk off with Melody sleeping next to me… or rather on me.

I let out a slow sigh, trying to think of anything but how soft Melody’s breast felt against my chest. Her hand and nails as they gently scratched against me. The way her lips were pressing to my neck… wait… what the heck?

I looked back down at Mel and our eyes met, her’s half open and dreamy, but very clearly awake. “Hey.” She whispered, scooting up in the bed and kissing me.

Was this really happening? Had last night happened? Well obviously it had since Mel was here right now but… it just felt too good to be true. Our lips closed against each other, my hand touching her hair. Everything about her was so solid and soft. She was so real.

A hand wrapped around my cock and I jolted, gasping in surprise.

Melody giggled sleepily. “Someone’s got morning wood.” She whispered. There was something about the darkness and quiet of the room that neither of them wanted to break.

“Sorry.” I stammered, still shy about.. everything. Though considering we’d had sex last night, I really shouldn’t have anything to be embarrassed about.

With a little shake of her head, Melody moved to straddle my lap, the bedsheet falling back around her hips, still covering my legs. “Let me help.”

For a second, I didn’t understand. How could she help…

The sudden feel of Melody’s pussy slowly taking my cock inside made my brain stop. My eyes widened as I stared up at her. Her dreamy eyes fluttered, and a sweet satisfied smile made her face glow along with the snowlight. Melody let herself sink down slowly, her hands finding their way to my chest, pressing firmly and moving up and down feeling me.

“Mmm.” she muttered. “Chase…” There didn’t seem to be any purpose to her speech besides just wanting to say my name. “Oh god Chase.” Her hips were beginning to move, back and forth. Up and down.

The feel of her pussy was amazing. So warm and tight. It was… how could I even begin to describe it in a way that hadn’t been done before a million times. Velvet. A vice. Slick warmth. Silk and sugar. It was exquisite and I never wanted to lose the feeling.

Her breasts swaying in the dark, the soft light from outside making them cast moving shadows as she made her body move like a lith snake, sensual and fluid. Melody’s nails dug into my chest. “Chase…” She whimpered, already seeming to be reaching a climax.

I took hold of her hips. The feel of her thighs, so toned and hard but still somehow soft sent a shock through my system and I felt my cock pulse inside her, which made her gasp.

“Chase…” She just kept saying my name. Moving with me as I was inside her again, so deep.

All I could do was stare up at her as she rode me, a vision in the darkness, hair falling around her face, eyes glittering in the night as she looked down at me with… love. God, she really did love me. It was real. This was real.

That alone brought me to the edge and over. My fingers gripped her thighs hard as I released, holding back my need for a louder response. Instead, softly grunting, the shuffling of the sheets and squeaking of the bedframe echoing louder in the room than our own breaths.

“Yes.” She whispered, arching back as she felt me cumming inside her. “Yeeeesssss…” It was a slow, soft hiss. I could feel her gripping me, her own orgasm rushing through her making her muscles tighten.

“Mel…” I muttered her name but couldn’t get anything else out. She lay against me and kissed me. Her breasts pressed to my chest and hands on my cheeks.

For a minute, we were almost one person. Pressed so tightly together. Joined primarily. Lips tight and tongues twisting. But the night’s chill made us huddle closer. One of us pulled up the blanket, wrapping it around us like a cocoon. Her hair pressed against my mouth as she held onto me for warmth and comfort and before I even realized it… we were asleep again.

— —

Saturday 10:00 AM - Chase

The world outside was white, muted, blank. The sun was dimmed by the thick clouds, giving everything a soft glow, the sort of tinted bluish-white hue of a snow day. Like when school was canceled and you had all day to play in the snow.

I stared out the window, frost along the edges framing everything in an almost greeting card-like snapshot. There was a chill in the apartment even though I heard the heater blowing. Sitting up, I tossed my sheets aside. The bed was empty except for me.

Where was Mel? Had she left?

The thought made my stomach twist. What if last night… What if it was a mistake? What if she’d woken up and realized she’d just slept with her best friend and it didn’t mean what I thought it did? Last night had been so good. And not just the sex. The whole date. Everything had been perfect. But… What if it was just an illusion? It was easy to have a good date, amazing sex, but when you woke up with a person and were exposed to their morning breath and the fact that… not everything was kissing in the snow and tender touches…would we be able to stand up to that sort of reality?

I scanned the room and saw Melody’s clothes still strewn across the floor. The tiny pair of lilac panties and matching bra a brilliant splash of color in my otherwise monochrome room.

So then, where had Mel gone? Was she just in the bathroom? On the couch regretting their actions? Was she devastated that we’d jeopardized our friendship?

I’d said I loved her. She’d said it back.

Was that just the heat of the moment?

I grabbed my boxers, slipped them on, and shuffled my way to the door. The smell of coffee hit me as I made my way into the living room. Soft light spilled through the open windows. A single light in the kitchen, over the countertop, illuminated the coffee maker as it radiated heat and the aroma of fresh brew. Melody stood at the window, looking out at the snow, wearing one of my sweatshirts that went to her mid thigh. She held a mug of coffee in either hand, sipping from one as the steam drifted up around her face. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and the entire air around her was perfect calm and contentment.

“Mel?” I took a step towards her, hesitant to break whatever peace she was experiencing.

She turned, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Well… morning sleepy head. I made some coffee. Was thinking about making pancakes, if you have the ingredients. But haven’t checked your pantry yet.”

My feet moved slowly, staring at her, still not sure that this was real. Obviously it was. There was no way this was a dream. But… I’d hoped and dreamed for so long, could you really blame me for feeling like this was all just some mass hallucination?

She must have seen my confusion because she motioned for me to come closer, holding out a mug of coffee towards me.

I moved like a robot, eyes taking in her messy, contented, air. When I was finally in front of her, looking down at her, taking the coffee in my hands and shivering from the sudden warmth, all I could manage to say was, “Hey.”

“Hey.” She whispered back, keeping my gaze. “You okay?” Her hand now free, she put it on my chest, nails trailing along my sternum.

“Uh…” I scratched the back of my neck. “I mean… yeah… as long as you tell me this isn’t a dream.”

Melody snorted a laugh, shook her head and gave me a dazzling smile. “Nope. Not a dream.” She sipped at her coffee, eyes still on me.

“So… last night…”

“And this morning.” Her cheeks turned rosy as she looked away from me shyly. That was definitely a first. Melody was never shy about sex.

I chuckled, feeling like some horny teenager that had just done the deed and now didn’t know what to do. That wasn’t far from the truth really. It had been my first time. And I didn’t know what to do now. All I could do was sigh. “Wow.” I muttered.

“Wow, indeed.” She laughed. “Definitely wow. Wow, wow.” Slipping up onto her toes with practiced grace, Mel gave me a kiss on the lips. She tasted so sweet and warm. Every touch of her lips and tongue was soft, even when we had been kissing like we were going to die. My hand wrapped around her waist. The feel of her taut muscles under my hoodie made her feel like a marble statue. Solid and masterfully made.

“Don’t feel like you need to exaggerate to make me feel good.” I said as our lips parted. “I know you’re more experienced.” My forehead rested against hers.

“Chase.” Her voice stopped me from saying anything else. “I would never, and I mean never, lie to you about something like this. Or anything really. But especially this.” She moved lower, kissing the hollow of my chest. “Last night was… it was seriously the best night of my life. I’m sure that sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s true. Being with you was perfect. Our date, everything, it was perfect.”

I brushed my fingers through her hair. “So… what does this mean?” I asked, staring out at the snow white world.

Melody sighed, breath against my skin making me shiver. “I think it means…” She paused, considering then looked up at me. “I think it means that I love you.”

I smiled. “I love you too.” It was so good to say it… to not just dream it.

“We aren’t… we aren’t moving too fast are we? Like, trying to just… make up for our fight?” It wasn’t a question I wanted to confront, but I felt like I needed to ask it, now, before things moved even further and it got too complicated to untangle.

“Wasn’t a fight.” She patted my chest. “You had a right to be upset. Of course, it probably wasn’t the best way for you to confess your feelings, and I certainly didn’t react very well either. But, things like this are messy. Feelings aren’t something I’ve mastered, and I’ve mostly been running away from commitment and intimacy my entire life. You have too. Keeping how you felt from me, and that’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for it. I understand. But… not anymore.”

She planted another soft kiss on my lips and then stepped back, sipping at her coffee. “Maybe this is fast. Maybe not. But who cares.” Her shrug made my hoodie rise up enough that I caught a flash of her bare pussy.

I nearly choked as I was taking a drink of my coffee. Burning my tongue. Seeing her sex in the daylight was a lot different than in the dim light of night and my bedroom.

Melody raised an eyebrow at me, not understanding my sudden fluster, then glanced down and noticed what I had and began to chuckle. “Oh. Right. Is my walking around in your hoodie a problem? Should we establish some sort of dress code for when I stay over? Am I not allowed to borrow your clothes?” She gave me a playful wink as she walked towards the kitchen.

The hoodie fluttered around her ass and I swear she was pulling it up a bit so I could see the underside of her cheeks as they swayed. “You… no of course you can. Wear whatever you want… or… not.” I said, following after her.

“Oh? So naked is okay? Not gonna be a distraction or anything if you’ve gotta do some work?” She began to pour more coffee into her mug and stirred it with the spoon sitting next to the coffeemaker. Turning back to me she was smiling mischievously.

Silence stretched, but not in a pained way. It was as if the events of last night were finally settling in. We drank our coffee, sometimes glancing at each other, other times smiling, but otherwise staying quiet.

What do you say after a date with your best friend? After the most mind blowing sex of your life?

Thank you?

I snorted.

“What’s funny?” She asked, looking at me curiously over the rim of her mug.

I scrubbed a hand through my hair. “Well… I was just thinking… like, what do you say after sex? Thanks?”

Melody let out a full belly laugh, putting her coffee down and almost doubling over. The hoodie rode up as she wrapped her arms around herself, exposing her pussy and ass again. “Oh my gosh!” She howled before standing back up, still clutching her middle putting her privates on display but not seeming to care. “What else? Are you going to tip me?”

“I mean… I might give you a tip…” I raised an eyebrow with a devilish smile of my own.

She let out another howling laugh, turning away from me as she did, trying to regain her composure but exposing her bare butt to me as well.

I was never this bold, or reckless, but… something in me just couldn’t resist. My hand moved like lightning and smacked her ass, making Melody yelp and whirl around with a look of complete and utter shock. “Did you just spank me?”

“Maybe…”

The look of shock turned sultry and sinister. She took a step towards me, hips swaying deliberately, elegantly, with all the grace of the ballet dancer that she was. “Do you think you can get away with that?”

I shrugged. “What are you gonna do about it?”

She was up on her toes in an instant and kissed me. “I have a few ideas…”

My arms wrapped around her waist. Our faces were close, noses touching. “You’re my best friend… you know that?” I whispered, looking into her eyes desperate to confirm that whatever happened now, wherever this went, we were still important to each other.

“You know what they say. There’s a thin line between love and hate. I think the same is true for friendship. It’s a razor thin line. We’ve been walking along the edge for a long time now.” Her lips touched mine. “No more lines.” The words were breathed softly as she pushed herself more firmly against me. “It's just us now.”

We kissed again. And again. And we decided, without a word, that we never wanted to stop.

END OF BOOK 1