Doomer Shirts! (Patreon)

Beware the Doomer!

Lurking in homes across the world the Doomer hides in plain sight! Blending right in with normal hard working families! Do not be alarmed as we have come up with these foolproof ways to spot a Doomer!

There are a few easy signs that can help you identify the DOOMER:

• Sign One: Look for a foul mouthed stoner with long hair! Smoking the Devil's Lettuce fries valuable brain cells! These brain cells make you a good honest hard working capitalist!
• Sign Two: These depraved maniacs have not only given up on life, but the world itself! These crybabies are not content to wallow in their only self pity but to drag you head first into disaster! Beware the fellow who can’t stop complaining about his bad back or his couch from Ikea!

The last and most important sign is are they wearing the BRAND NEW ULTRA DELUXE DOOMER SHIRT NOW AVAILABLE ONLY FROM DEEP FAT FRIED, THE GREATEST PODCAST IN HUMAN HISTORY!

These sublime shirts will have you begging for the nukes to launch and that asteroid to hurry up already! Humanity hasn’t got all day!

And remember kids we are all doomed but not everyone can be a DOOMER!