2602031 | Stark: Ashes, Blood, and the Uncooling Thrill (Patreon)

Master Eisen always said fear isn't shameful; what matters is the moment you swing the axe.

But that fight just now... I really thought I was a goner. When that magic beam grazed me, I didn't have time to care that my clothes were vaporizing into nothing. High kicks, heavy swings, getting slammed against stone walls—it wasn't until the cold wind stung my skin that I realized I was standing in the middle of the battlefield, completely exposed.

I'm filthy... covered in mud, soot, and blood that I’m not sure is even mine.

It’s finally quiet, but I can't calm down. My heart is racing too fast. That shivering thrill of surviving hasn't faded; instead, it's all pooling down below. My wounds sting, but my body is burning up.

Just this once... here, in these ruins smelling of dust and gore. If Fern saw me like this—filthy, pathetic, and bare—she’d definitely call me a "pervert," wouldn't she?

But my hands won't stop. I need to feel that I'm still alive... in the most primal way possible.

修塔爾克：灰燼、血汗與無法冷卻的戰慄

艾冉師父常說，恐懼並不可恥，重要的是揮動斧頭的那一刻。

但剛剛那場戰鬥……真的差點就死了。當那道魔法光束擦身而過時，我根本沒時間去管身上的衣服是不是已經灰飛煙滅。高踢、揮砍、被擊飛撞上石牆——直到冷風刺痛了皮膚，我才發現自己幾乎是一絲不掛地站在戰場中央。

好髒……全身上下都是泥土、煤灰，還有不知是誰的血。

終於安靜下來了，但我卻冷靜不下來。心臟跳得好快，那種死裡逃生的戰慄感沒有消失，反而全聚積到了下半身。傷口在痛，身體卻熱得發燙。

就這一次……在這種充滿塵埃與血腥味的廢墟裡。 如果被費倫看到這副髒兮兮又狼狽的樣子，肯定會被罵是「變態」吧？

但我的手停不下來。我需要確認自己還活著……用最原始的方式。