Dealing with Feedback (Patreon)

So, I made a comment on a reddit post, and once again decided to clean it up for a small patreon post (yes, the new demo is coming, I had a mental health week). The context is talking about dealing with toxic and helpful feedback and comments as an author, and as someone who has had my fair share of those I added some advice of what I saw as important.

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Writing interactive fiction is not my first rodeo. And in the past I have willingly courted controversy and taken great pride in creating things that shocked and outraged people (hello nineties). So I always thought of myself as having thick skin, and being able to deal with feedback with a clear head. However, I underestimated what being enmeshed in online life to the degree people are these days might do to me. Being just a wee bit autistic probably didn't help much either... So here are the things I have learned about dealing with feedback and requests:

1: Figure out your red lines. When I started getting feedback for Fallen Hero, I took it all very seriously. I didn't know anything about writing an IF, so I figured I'd learn what people wanted. However, I soon realized that while some of the feedback was super helpful, some of it went directly against what I intended to do with the story. For a while there I was concerned that I was writing something that was very much against what people expected and wanted, but thanks to my past experiences I said fuck it an did it anyway. The main thing was hiding Sidestep's past/unclear motivation/forcing people to make choices without all the information. People hated that, and I understood why, but that was at the heart of the idea I had for the story. The feedback crossed one of my red lines. The other things were wanting more powers, also a red line since this was a telepathy only story, being able to not use the puppet, to have more background options, and to not be a villain. Removing any of these and it would not be Fallen Hero anymore. Deciding what your red lines are is SO important. What can't your story do without? The elements are there, and figuring out what they are will help you dismiss comments about them and stay true to the core of your story.

2: People have so many good ideas, but consider escalation. Look. Passionate readers have so many great suggestions and comments. So many ways your story could grow and become better, and more interesting. But you only have so much time, and many of those ideas WILL escalate. I am a warning example when it comes to this. Adding more romantic options made the story better, so I did it, but it also expanded the scope in ways I had not predicted. I don't regret doing it, Retribution would not be what it was if I hadn't indulged, but it has led to the pace suffering, and an extra book being added to the series. When I added the RO's I had this naive idea that the only difference would be some smut scenes, I didn't consider how they would change the dynamic and the trajectory of the story. Because of course I couldn't just be half-assed about it. I needed a whole ass. If someone has wondered why there is not a huge difference between the various villain paths that is because there I managed to pump the breaks just in time before I went completely off the rails.

3: Small suggestions can make a huge difference. This is the opposite of the point above. SO many times I have gotten small little wishes and comments that has been easy for me to implement, but has made a huge impact for some groups of readers. This can be everything from changing small things/language to make sure I don't say something I didn't intend to say (I am not worried about being offensive, but I want to be offensive because I mean it, not because of badly worded text), adding a choice option or two to provide for a wider range of character builds, adding flags to remember certain decisions that the readers felt was pivotal and wanted referenced again, and so on. If it fits the story I have in mind, these make my work better. Of course, suggestions like this can also escalate, so you need to consider the repercussions. And, if they go against what you feel the core of the story is, they can also dilute the story and feel like pandering, and distract from what you really want to write.

4: Explaining your choices to your readers. This is point is so important and so hard, because you might end up taking one suggestion from a person and saying no to another. That can lead to fights, accusations of favoritism, some people being seen as author's pets, anger at some fans for destroying the story and delaying the authors true vision, and escalate internal fighting in forums and discords. In the past I tried to be open with the things I could (without revealing spoilers) but since I didn't want to reveal certain facts early, people jumped on the holes in my explanations and built entire theories around them. I was accused of changing the story, being afraid of controversy, and so many things I have blocked out. These days I engage a LOT less with the general public, and a lot more with a small core of what I call my alpha playtesters (and not a lot with them either during the first step).

Sometimes it is better to just say 'cool idea, I'll think about it' and move on. Or saying nothing.

5: And finally KNOW YOUR LIMITS. If you feel that suggestions, comments and reviews makes you feel bad and second-guess every part of your story, step back from them. Because the truth is that even if feedback might have made your story better, a finished story is more important. If you feel fragile, have someone you trust read the comments and suggestions and sum them up for you. When I had my big mental breakdown in 2020 there was about a year when I didn't read anything online, my partner did. I am the comment reader for an author friend of mine, because he can't stand looking at those things, so I do, and give relevant feedback. Ideally this should be an editor role, but a trusted friend with a good eye will do.

You need to have fun writing, if something makes it less fun, find other ways to deal with it.

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Edit: I also realize I had other things to say, so I added them here too.

Also, to any writer out there:

YOU DON'T NEED TO INTERACT WITH TUMBLR. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ACTIVE ON THE FORUM!

If you feel fragile or anxious about it, don't. I know that feedback is a good thing, but an open forum might not be the best for you. Have a small, secret group of friends. Write for yourself. Hide away in your closet and tap away and have fun. You don't have to force yourself to get feedback at the start! Many authors don't get feedback at all until they deliver the manuscript to the editor! Yes, I know that sometimes getting things fixed early is better, but there is this whole deal these days about everyone having to be open to feedback, open with the process, behind the scenes, open asks, whatever. You don't have to DO that! You don't have to be entertainment for the masses! Be selfish and secretive and cackle away in a corner writing for yourself.

YOU DON'T NEED AN EARLY FANBASE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SPREAD THE WORD. YOU DON'T NEED FAME AND FORTUNE FOR A BLOODY DEMO!

Writing is a passion! Yes, we all need money, but you can't go into this with the mindset that you need to monetize from day one. That you need to sell yourself, be professional, be a fully fledged author from day one when maybe all you wanted to do was write some cool shit for yourself to see if you could! You can focus on that once you are almost done if you want to! Like the last 25% of the story or the game. Don't sell something that doesn't exist, focus on enjoying the process. Even if you are into this for fame and money (oh boy), if you start being too high profile too early people will be too enthusiastic (they can't help themselves) and you and they will burn out before it is done. Drumming up interest can be done late in the cycle, you are not missing out by focusing on creating. Also, you can NEVER keep up with player interest, it is better to capture that as late as possible.

DON'T BE A PROFESSIONAL, BE A SELFISH FAN OF YOUR OWN WORK!

If this is your first game? Write for yourself. That is your ONLY job. You. Be your biggest fan. To hell with everyone else. Hoard your writing like a dragon, don't go out into the sunlight like a vampire heading for the pyre. This world is too much grind, side-hustles and monetization. Yes, we artists want to live and need money desperately, but you can't start there. Find your joy. Even if that joy is solitude and non-engagement.

LURK ON OTHER WORKS INSTEAD!

If you feel that you want to learn how to write an IF, you don't need to reveal your own early. Instead, find stories you like and that you feel are doing similar things to what you want to do, and read their comments! That's a place where you can pick up things and learn. Or pick works in the same genre, to see what people want. Filter your experience through another author's comments. I did that early on, it is really helpful because many comments are the same no matter the game.

TEST WRITE ELSEWHERE!

If you are worried about your writing style, or you want comments on how you write, or just build a bit of confidence, go elsewhere. Make an AO3 account or a tumblr under a different name! Write fanfiction for popular things you like! Fanfiction is a cheat code to engagement if you pick the right fandom, and it will gain you experience with both comments and criticism. And, it will still be a distance there since it is not your original creation. And this writing is not wasted! They say you need to write a million words until you find your style, so get going. Also, if you really get into it, file off those serial numbers and get cracking. Fallen Hero started as a fanfic for my partner's unpublished comic. Breaks was born out of my DAII fanfics. I know some projects out there that started as Sidesteps and I love them. Play around!

THIN SKIN IS OKAY!

Let's be fair, so much of the comments are less than helpful anyway. There is no need to subject yourself to that just because people said you should listen to criticism. Be sensitive. Be fragile. Be insular. Take your time. That's not a failure. That's you. Get offline. Write in secret. Take breaks for months. Give up. Start again. Breathe.

Just. Breathe. You don't need to be anything that you're not. I give you express permission to not read any comments, to not take any suggestions, to not learn from your betters and to not give one flying fuck what you are supposed to do to be a successful artist. Nobody knows that. Everyone is wildly different. The people who write books about how to do shit like this? Well, if they knew how to do it, why not follow their own advice instead and be famous and productive instead of writing self-help books?

So yeah, feel free to ignore me too. What the hell do I know?