Just some thoughts (Patreon)

Hey everyone, welcome to this little post. (Picture is from the upcoming sniper video)

Recently, I've expected too much of myself by wanting to have "How it FEELS to play Sniper" out by December 11th (because on the 12th I'm going on a short trip). While this would have been possible if I worked roughly 8-10 hours a day nonstop since November 15th, the pressure of this expectation actually caused me to get almost nothing done for about a week. Funny how that works, right?

It definitely didn't help that I was sick in bed for a few days at some point, but that happens to everyone.

Anyway, enough excuses: after this Sniper video, I am going to get my own place (thanks to you <3) where I will be able to form consistent working habits and live the dream of making Youtube my life. For now, I am focusing on revisiting important habits like exercising daily and even meditating.  

Surprisingly (or maybe not to some of you), working daily has become so much easier now that I've prioritized my well-being and am focusing on making long-term habits. One strategy that I'm finally trying is to set a "cut-off" time where I don't pressure myself to work. I've found that having no expectations for myself from 7-11PM highly boosts my energy levels for the following day. Sometimes I end up working during this time anyway! But only if I feel like it.

One last thought: during the week where I was frozen by the pressure, I had a miniature existential crisis. Now, this might sound funny to some of you, but that week I realized that I would never get to live the life of an eSports pro. You might be surprised to learn that I was honestly considering going into eSports instead of returning to Youtube two years ago. In fact, there was a point where I was one of the top 10 most accurate McCrees in the world (no joke I probably have the screenshot of that lying around). This was thanks to the same passion for gaming that allows me to make the "How it FEELS" series. I just love multiplayer games and the depth/emotions that can be found in them.

Anyway, the reason I decided to come back to Youtube was the realization that, if I looked back from 10 years in the future, I would be more proud of myself for doing Youtube than eSports. I still stand by that decision, but only now has the finality of it dawned on me! Sometimes I wish I had a second lifetime to become a TF2 pro, or a Dota 2 pro, or even an Overwatch pro! When I see how passionate and excited the pros are when they're competing in their favorite games, or how knowledgeable and snarky they act about every little balance change, I get a little jealous and see myself in their shoes. 

I invite you to breathe in the fact that we only have one lifetime and that we should make the most of it. Think about what "future you" would be proud of, but also make sure to respect yourself and build yourself up up slowly. Still, keep in mind that Stephen Hillenburg (R.I.P.) only started working on Spongebob /15 years/ after he graduated college. There's always time to do something great

P.S. The next video might be the QnA, so leave questions here if you didn't get a chance before