I, Kibutsuji Muzan, Does Not Want To Die (Patreon)

Chapter 8: Human

"……………………"

I think humans are ugly.

And yet, I couldn't help but be captivated by the brilliance of their lives, struggling within their predetermined existence.

I found myself hopelessly drawn to those who shone so brightly.

I think I am ugly.

A wretched monster that, out of sheer spite for my inability to live, murdered a doctor, slaughtered my own parents, and devoured their flesh.

A calamity that turns humans into demons, spreading this accursed existence like a plague.

To me, I was nothing but a loathsome monster.

But—

But—!

"Ahhh! What is that?! It has no arms! Gross!"

I am a monster. A being without a human heart, someone who’s only bringing harm to humanity.

"Look, that one has no legs! Haha!

It can only crawl like a worm!"

And yet, this—this is simply too—!

"Today's highlight attraction! The grotesque one-eyed woman!"

This is too cruel.

. . . . . . . . . .

That place was a distillation of human ugliness.

"Ugh…"

The moment we arrived, before even stepping inside, a foul stench assaulted my nose.

Tamayo grimaced, covering her nose and mouth with her sleeve.

It was the stench of excrement… and rotting flesh.

Yugetsu’s final words—his apology to me.

No matter how much I called out, there was no response from Nakime.

Without a doubt, something had happened to her.

I immediately set off for the town where she had last been.

—At times like this, I found my inability to act freely during the day frustrating.

I could completely conceal myself with an umbrella, but if anything went wrong, Tamayo wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Her physical abilities as a demon weren’t particularly strong, and her body wasn’t very resilient.

If she were exposed to sunlight, I didn’t know what would happen.

So, after nightfall, I carried Tamayo through deserted mountain paths, animal trails—or rather, untrodden paths—and remained still during the day.

That was how we made our way to the town where Nakime had been.

Upon arriving, we secured a place to stay and set out to gather information at night.

And… we found her whereabouts almost immediately.

As a one-eyed monster, she had been captured.

“That person was quite renowned for her beautiful performances…

But to think she was actually a one-eyed monster…

So frightening, so frightening… I wonder what she was plotting…”

I felt my clenched fist creak under the pressure.

"Her whereabouts? Oh, right. There's this person who collects rare things.

They took her. Said something about making her part of a spectacle.

Now that I think about it, there was also a man who tried to protect the monster.

He got caught in the sunlight and turned to dust.

Scary, isn’t it? To think there were two monsters so close to us."

I also managed to hear about Yugetsu’s final moments.

He had struggled until the very end, trying to follow my instructions.

"You want the location? Well, you're a handsome guy, so I'll tell you. Let's see..."

After getting the information, I left as quickly as possible.

Because if I stayed any longer, I might have killed that woman.

I was using all my strength to suppress my rage.

But…

The sight that greeted me wiped away my restrain in an instant.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Ahh."

"Hii—!"

Inside the shack, there were several partitions, each containing something that moved.

The first thing that caught my eye was a young child.

The child looked up at me blankly, as if they didn’t understand anything.

But their face—

Their eyes and nose were misplaced, scrambled unnaturally.

—Not due to any injury. This was likely something they had been born with.

Ropes bound their arms, legs, and even their neck, preventing any chance of escape.

Beside them, a girl with no arms pressed herself against the far wall, terror in her eyes, trying to get as far from us as possible.

There was a bloodstained stone on the floor of her enclosure.

A trail of dried blood ran down her forehead.

That alone was enough to paint a clear picture of what had been done to her.

"…How horrible…"

Tamayo’s soft whisper sounded distant, like an echo from far away.

There were others. Many others.

Humans.

Born with missing limbs, deformed bodies—people who simply looked different from the norm.

And they had been captured, restrained, put on display as freaks.

"We don’t have them perform today, but sometimes we make these abominations mate with each other—oh, whoops, shouldn’t be saying that in front of the lady, huh? Heh heh heh~"

The man who had taken it upon himself to guide us—likely because of our refined appearance—laughed vulgarly as he spoke.

Tamayo’s gaze held unmistakable contempt.

The conditions were unspeakable.

The hygiene, abysmal.

Their health, utterly neglected.

They were clearly malnourished, their ribs protruding beneath their skin.

Their clothes were nothing but rags, and their bindings had never been replaced.

Blood seeped from the wrists and ankles where they were tied—some wounds had festered, and on certain individuals, even maggots writhed in the decaying flesh.

And there—at the very depths of this wretched place—was where Nakime had been captured.

A wealthy-looking man and woman, who had entered before us, were pointing at her and laughing.

"Ahaha! Just as I imagined—a proper one-eyed goblin!"

"She’s female, apparently. Her chest does seem to have some shape, but… hahaha, not enough to make me want to touch her!"

Her once-beautiful, jet-black hair had been completely shaved off, exposing her single eye against her will.

The deep navy kimono she often wore had been stripped away, leaving her body crudely wrapped in nothing but rags.

Burn marks covered her body…

Looking up at the ceiling, I noticed small holes scattered throughout.

It wasn’t hard to imagine what happened when daylight streamed through them.

Her feet were impaled with multiple iron stakes, pinning her in place.

Her arms were free, but—

She clutched a broken biwa, its strings snapped, holding it as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

Her single eye was bloodshot, her teeth bared in a feral grimace.

She was in a state of starvation beyond her limits.

The burns on her body were from exposure to the sun…

And judging by the darkened wounds, it was clear—

She had been impaled over and over again, regenerating with the stakes still embedded in her flesh.

She had no time to fully heal, no chance to eat human flesh, and had spent her days simply enduring under the relentless sunlight.

And now—standing this close, I finally understood.

Nakime had deliberately cut off her connection to me.

She had suffered in silence, choosing not to let me feel her pain.

"This… this is too cruel…"

Tamayo covered her mouth, trembling violently.

Ah, how wretched, how vile…

What had Nakime done to deserve this?

Damn it… where did I go wrong?

"Heh heh heh, what do you think? The one-eyed woman was quite the handful.

She put up a fight, but that just made it all the more entertaining.

If you enjoyed the show, I’d appreciate a generous payment… heh heh heh!"

Disgusting.

"Hey, you monster! Don’t you dare snarl at our guests!"

A stone flew from the man’s hand—

THUD

It struck Nakime square in the forehead.

Her head jerked from the impact, and in that moment—her biwa slipped from her grasp.

CLATTER

The broken instrument hit the ground with a hollow sound.

"Ah… ahhh…"

Despite her starvation, Nakime reached out desperately toward the fallen biwa.

Tears welled in Tamayo’s eyes at the sight.

Unable to hold back, she buried her face in my shoulder.

I wrapped my arm around her gently.

"Ah… that’s enough."

A powerful gust of wind roared through the air.

"…Huh? Was that the wind?"

"You shall die."

SLASH!

. . . . . . . . . .

"Hii— h-hii—!"

"How does it feel?"

"How does it feel to become the very spectacle you once mocked?"

At my feet, a man writhed—his arms severed.

"Bow your head. Grovel in the dirt."

"Not that it will ever atone for your sins."

"S-Sins—!?"

The man glared up at me, eyes burning with rage.

"What’s so wrong about making a freak show out of those born defective!?"

"They’re all failures anyway—born broken, unable to live normal lives!"

I felt the veins bulging in my forehead.

"They look disgusting! If they can at least be useful to humans, they should be grateful!"

"That one-eyed woman, wearing fancy kimonos like she was human—it’s sickening!"

CRACK!

I heard the sound of my own molars shattering from how hard I clenched my teeth.

"I paid good money for them because they were rare!"

"The least they can do is earn back that money before they d—GRAH!"

"Enough. Cease your squawking."

I stomped down on his head, silencing the filth spewing from his mouth.

"Why?"

"Why is it so easy for you to belittle a life?"

I pressed harder.

The man's skull creaked underfoot.

"What is so fun about this?"

"What is so amusing…?"

A sickening crunch echoed as the man's jaw fractured under the pressure.

"What do you think life is worth?"

SPLAT!

. . . . . . . . . .

"Guh— uuuuaaaaahh—!"

A gut-wrenching rage overtook me.

It was anger towards the ugliness of humanity—something I had nearly forgotten amidst the peaceful days.

Looking down at the cruelly disfigured form of Nakime who’s sleeping in my arms, I made my decision.

I had to turn Nakime back into a human as soon as possible.

Nakime’s legs had been pinned down by iron stakes for an extended period, wounded over and over again, leaving her bones and muscles completely deformed.

—Even if they healed, Nakime would never be able to walk properly again.

Grit—

My clenched teeth ground against each other.

I could taste blood in my mouth, trickling down from the corner of my lips.

For Nakime's sake, I needed to find the Blue Spider Lily.

As soon as possible.

I extended thin tendrils from my own body.

Then, I drove them into the grotesque creatures present here.

"!? Muzan-sama!? What are you—?!"

Tamayo gasped in shock, but this was no time to pay attention to her.

I was giving them my blood—transforming them into demons.

Ah… Now, I understood it clearly. The precise amount of blood each one could withstand.

Become demons. Serve as my hands and feet.

"I bestow power upon you. Live as you please—you are free.

But in return, fulfill this one wish of mine.

Find the Blue Spider Lily! I don’t care how!

Human casualties are irrelevant! Use any means necessary to find it!"

"Muzan-sama! What are you saying?!"

Tamayo clung to my arm.

Her face, painted with confusion, seemed to be pleading with me.

"If you give such an order— how many humans will be sacrificed—?!"

"Silence! I couldn't care less how many humans are sacrificed!

You saw it too, Tamayo! Right here! The ugliness of humanity!

What reason is there to show mercy to such creatures?!"

"That’s—! B-but—!"

Tamayo’s face twisted, as if she were about to cry.

I grasped both of her trembling hands and met her gaze.

"Tamayo, you must continue your research on turning demons back into humans.

You are the only one who can do it— I’m counting on you."

While we spoke, the ones I had turned into demons began devouring the corpse of the man I had crushed beneath my foot.

With looks of utter bliss and delight.

Yes… you are free now. Forget that you were ever imprisoned by such a man.

"…Muzan-sama…"

Tamayo murmured my name, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

But I ignored her silent plea and averted my gaze.

"Increase the number of demons! Spread across the land! You must find the Blue Spider Lily— immediately!"

I issued the order with absolute authority.

It was an unbreakable command to the demons I had created.

If this led to the discovery of the Blue Spider Lily... then so be it.

As I glanced down, the frail body of Nakime stirred ever so slightly in my arms.

"Muzan-sama..."

Even in her unconscious, battered state, this kind-hearted girl still called my name.

Nakime could have killed her captors when they took her.

But she didn't.

She refrained—not out of weakness, but out of concern for me.

Nakime understood my aversion to killing better than I did myself.

That was why she hadn’t taken a life.

That was why she suffered such a fate.

Yes... all of this was my fault.

I was to blame.

So I no longer cared what happened to humans.

I would cast away such sentiments.

I would find a way to return demons to humanity.

For the sake of this kind soul who suffered because of me.

. . . . . . . . . .

A grotesque display stood before me.

"Hyohyohyohyo! What do you think, Muzan-sama?!"

"A masterpiece crafted from captured humans! I call it—"

"Disgusting."

Slash

"Hyo—?"

With a single stroke, I severed Gyokko’s head from his shoulders.

Then, I turned to the abomination before me—a sculpture made of living, suffering humans.

I addressed it directly.

"Do you wish to die? Or do you wish to live? I will let you choose."

The twisted mass of barely alive flesh murmured in a frail voice.

"Kill… me… please… kill me…"

His words, spoken in pure agony, were met with a quiet nod from me.

I pressed a finger against his forehead.

"Ah…"

"At the very least… may you sleep peacefully."

His contorted expression softened.

Surely, by now, he felt no more pain.

Gyokko watched on, visibly displeased. But the moment I glared at him, he shrank away in fear.

"Th– thank you…"

With those final words, the human perished.

Thank me?

Even though it was my subordinate who caused your suffering…?

How utterly misguided.

I exhaled, releasing a small fraction of my irritation.

Then, I reached for Gyokko’s severed head.

"Gyokko."

"Y-Yes!?"

I gripped his head tightly as I continued.

"I will not deny your hobbies. Do as you please—I will not interfere, even if I cannot understand them."

Crack. Creak

His skull groaned under the pressure of my grip.

"But never again… never show me such a thing again!"

"If you do, you will cease to exist!"

"Understood! My deepest apologies—HEBGRH!"

Thud

I flung Gyokko’s head against the wall in a fit of unrestrained disgust.

How utterly revolting.

What a wretched thing he had forced me to witness.

Once, he had been a man tormented by his lack of artistic recognition, on the verge of ending his own life.

I should never have saved him.

"Oh dear, what a shame, Gyokko-dono. Personally, I didn’t think it was that bad!"

"Oh, that reminds me—I made something similar myself! You should come see it sometime! I even placed it inside one of the vases you gifted me!"

"Nghh… my precious vases— no, well, I suppose that’s fine too…"

Just like with Doma, I regretted ever turning him into a demon.

And yet…

Now that I have made them demons, I must take responsibility.

As the progenitor of demons…

Even for creatures like them.

—How utterly repulsive.