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The first of the company’s values is Virtue. “We hold ourselves to the highest moral standards, especially when there’s witnesses.”

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Bobby Driveby

Never wanted to be a new hire as bad as now

Jasper Menolia

"Especially when there's witnesses" is crazy XD

Freeze Dried Scoop

She could always directly feed the new hire to the angry co-worker, directly... through a kiss. Let horny employee trust re-building exercises happen afterwards.