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Hi. For the next episode of EMN please share anything that you’ve learned about yourselves during this shit show. (Patreon)

Published:
2020-05-07 06:48:23
Imported:
2026-06
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We really appreciate it!

Comments

Dan Haddix

I've learned that YouTubers like yourself are actually better at filming themselves in their homes than professional TV personalities that make millions of dollars. And I've learned that I subscribe to WAY too many streaming services that have little to nothing that I actually want to watch.

Cory

I've learned that my only hobby, besides making music on a computer, is playing video games. I have also learned that parental leave from a low-paying retail job will drain your bank account so fast you won't ever be able to make music on a computer again if it breaks. Which it did.

Secret Foxfire

I've learned 2 big things. 1: as intensely introverted as I am, humans truly are social creatures, and I start going insane when isolated for too long (I live alone). 2: I eat when I'm bored, which took me far too long to realize, and as long as I'm eating, I wind up being unproductive. Decided to fast for a day just to see what would happen and it was the most productive day in years because I got bored and stayed bored and wound up getting up and looking for things to do. Did some cleaning, some writing, some exercise... I recommend fasting to anyone who's never tried it, just for a day, just to see what happens.

Morgan McGuire

I've been working from home for almost 8 weeks now and I've learned that I actually thrive spending more time at home... My general mental health is actually better than it was prior to the pandemic. It may be because I've adopted a cat and started growing plants since the pandemic began, but I wouldn't have done those things if I didn't have the extra time at home. I feel guilty about it, but I'm actually dreading the day when it's okay to go back to the office.

Rachel Mc Veigh

I've learned that I can actually be good a DIY. I moved into a new house just before the lockdown so I've had to do a ton of stuff on my own that I'd normally ask for help for - building furniture, installing my washing machine, setting up an electric fence to stop my dogs from trying to escape to chase the sheep across the road etc. It's been a really empowering experience for me and the sense of achievement that finishing a project gives me has really helped with my anxiety.

John Hall

I have learned that Mr. Bonkers has been cheating on me and my blood.

Bishop King

I don't think I'm shockable. I started to paying attention to politics as a kid. Only the dumbest thing happens.

Declynn

I learned at thirty years old that despite being right handed, I am apparently better at drawing with my left.

DietzisaName

I hate my wife and want a divorce.

Izit Spooky

I've learnt that I really do much prefer skirts to jeans or shorts. I just hate their complete lack of pockets. I find myself in need of a combat skirt for my post lockdown times.

Valdinia

I've been reminded that hygiene is important, and that my own habits (hand washing and the like) have been too lax. Hopefully the new habits will stay even after the reminders stop!

Woeful Wednesday

That I’m much more introverted than I realized. Being alone is bliss. Also that the bulk of my anxiety comes from being forced to function in a society built around extroverts and their expectations.

Bryant Richardson

Found I really need pants to be productive. First few days I was wfh I didn't really bother getting dressed and they were also super useless days.

Jeff Prillaman

I learned that smoked turkey is great in scrambled eggs.

Beeblebroxologist

I needed sleep. Also, I'm finding this a different kind of demotivating to other periods when I was stuck at home. During a summer between semesters I wrote a book (not saying it was great, but it was complete). Shortly before graduating certain green subsidies became a lot harder to get and the place I was about to get a job in couldn't afford new people, so I ended up unemployed for a year; not having another thing to go to made that time much more demotivating than the previous summer. I was able to write some stuff, but not as much as that summer, despite having much more time. Then along comes this pandemic, and my contract came to its intended conclusion the day after lockdown here, so while it's really nice to have this space to recover after 3 years of not enough sleep it's also not much fun to know that I need to be looking for a job at a time when everyone else is being laid off. And I haven't written anything much longer than this in the last two months. I've got things I want to write, I just can't summon the motivation. So yea. Sleep is good.

Jac Bell-Conroy

I just learned you can NOT buy baby formula on food stamps but a 5lbs of skittles is not a problem. thats crazy right?

Crystal

I've been coping with all this reasonably well and I think it's because I've done something very similar (but even worse) before. A few years ago I sustained a really bad concussion that kept me housebound for the better part of a year but with the added bonus of feeling like shit all the time and not even having the mental stamina to do any of the indoor activities that I enjoy. So I guess what I've learned is that keeping your mental health on track during times like this is a learned skill that you can get better at. For those of us that have experienced bad injuries or chronic illnesses, this is a familiar situation in many ways. It sucks to be doing it again, but for me at least, I feel like I've learned to deal with it pretty well by now.

Enkixx

I probably needed a break from work. I came back in after a two week depression spiral and incidentally was far more productive than usual.

Rebecca Schulz

I learned to limit contact with those who hurt me even when they don't mean to. I have a family member who is always going from one crisis to another. He has a mental disorder, but refuses to get treatment. I love him dearly, but have had to pull away because it just wrecks me emotionally.

Jon

I can't just do nothing. My goal used to be to make enough money so that I don't have to work, and just basically lounge around. This whole mess has shown that I just can't do that. I don't think many people in a UBI system would be able to just do nothing, either.

Andy McCoy

I learned that I'm generally ok with the monotony of being at home, but that I was definitely more productive on things I wanted to learn when I had a 10ish hour block of time where I had to at least pretend to be busy.

Kim Fritz

I’ve learned I have a great deal of social anxiety I didn’t realize. It’s usually very difficult for me to get up and get to work. I love my job, but going into work always feels like a big battle and I don’t know why. But now, working from home, it’s no problem. I get up everyday and start work with no issue. It’s something I’m definitely going to need to talk to my therapist about when we can start going to see our therapists again

I Fight Horny Patron Names

I have learned that I need physical attention a lot more than I thought. Not physical attention like sex necessarily, just the small physical social interactions like shaking hands, hugging, or playfully bumping shoulders up against one another. Even the small things like little claps on the shoulder, sharing space on the subway, all these things I thought me and my personal space issues hated so much, but now two months without any physical contact or touch at all has made me realize that for a long time I had been ignoring something important about my body, coasting on the bare minimum of contact, and without even that it has made me feel starved, self-conscious, itchy, ugly and small.

Tara Van Geons

I have learned that I love my family, but I really need them to move out, if only for a little while. We've all been together too long.

Bisexual Disaster

Ngl this is how I found out that I'm bisexual, cause being stuck at home and watching lord of the rings means it's very hard to ignore how hot Legolas is

Timothy G Toner

I have always thought that if I had more time just for me (bit of a workaholic), I could get my life in order. Now I know that's a damn dirty lie!

Woody Woodger

i learned i need to begin HRT. My boyfriend was able with telecoms and probably a blood sacrifice, was able to get hormones fitting the crisis and he just took his second dose the other day and i’m so ecstaticly proud and thankful while at the same time terribly envious. he doesn’t make a big enough deal of himself and his accomplishments and talent and all the hardships he’s been through to reach this point. if i didn’t have him during this i’d be going even crazier. i had some gender euphoria last night, crying alone in the bathroom, and i’m sorry that cis people cant know that joy. i am misgendered often and dead named and i make so many excuses for those who do because i don’t want to make someone feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. i was misgendered recently by another member of the anarchist trans asylum seekers super network i voulenteer with and almost kept it away from my boyfriend because i knew he would be upset. and i was right, he was. but why do i wilt away whenever it comes time to advocate for myself? estrogen will not fix a single damn thing about me aside for some titties and ill probably start an OnlyFans. i need to stop shouldering other peoples mistreatment of me as if my agreeableness will someday guilt those people into changing.

Sword n' Bored

I've been extremely blessed in that I have a very good job that allows me to work from home. Not only that, but I've been working from home for half a decade now. I'm pretty introverted, so none of this has been particularly hard for me. I don't go out often either so my life has had almost no change. But, I have learned, that what I do miss is being able to go to a coffee shop. I have had symptoms of the virus, so I don't dare expose anyone. Usually I go in, order my usual, and tip (I worked in the service industry before, and once they had us keep the shop open during a flood... as two feet of water covered the sidewalk so it wasn't like anyone could come into the fucking... anyway). That's really it, coffee made by someone who isn't me, who I can be impressed with how not shit they are at making coffee. Something small that magnifies itself in your head with its absence.

Orla Conway

I’ve learned that while as an extrovert I definitely need people in my life, some of that has spilled over into codependency causing me to overcompensate and distract myself with social interaction (especially leaning towards romance). What I’ve learned most deeply about myself so far has been that if I can ride out the loneliness wave, it actually goes away, like a craving! That intense burning desire to receive attention and stimulation will actually pass after a couple days or weeks. And then when it does, one is more free to point all that loving energy back towards themselves and start really working on self love and care <3

Erik Pohanka

I learnt that, although I'm an introvert, I still need physical contact with the people I love.

Robert Schuneman

This might be a bit dark. A year ago, in April 2019, I survived a suicide attempt after which my life spun even more out of control. For the first couple of months of 2020, I was seriously delinquent on my mortgage and was working hard to convince my mortgage company to restructure the loan. When the pandemic hit and I was fortunate enough to have a job that allows me to work from home, I started to get increasingly depressed. Then I realized that I was working very hard to stay living in the house I had tried to die in. Being confined in the house made things worse. While the specifics of my situation are unique to me, I'm confident that effect of increasing depression isn't. My story worked out amazingly well as within the span of six weeks I was able to sell my house without a loss, find an apartment, and move. Things are much better now. What did I learn about my myself? THat my emotional and mental well-being is a lot more fragile than I had thought.

Brandon Laks

Other than the fact that I need structure, productivity, and social interaction in order to be sane, I think this year has made me truly realize how precious time is. I am the type to consistently put off things I want, thinking that there is plenty of time to do whatever. At some point last year I realized that I had only been out of the country once and I spend most of my time either at work or on my couch (partially due to laziness, partially due to money). I had made a decision last year that I was going to dedicate 2020 to the year of doing stuff. By early January, I had two vacations planned to visit three different countries, signed up for new gym classes, found an indoor rock climbing group, and was talking with my local community college about attending classes. A few months later, I am coming to realize how much of my "year of doing stuff" is undoable or inaccessible. It makes me stressed about how much I want to do in ever shrinking time, knowing that I may not be able to do some of it for at least another year. It also makes me a little resentful towards my past self for taking so long to do all the things I want to do. At the same time, I am hoping that going through this will keep me from falling back into a natural state of lethargy.

Hayley Nystrom

I’ve learned that nothing is guaranteed, and if you’ve always wanted to do or see something, you should do it cause who the hell knows if you’ll be able to in the future. I’ve always wanted to live abroad, and I’ve been saying pretty much every day lately that there will never be a better time than now (or, you know, soonish).

Alyx Green

So I went into this already having some big mental health issues, and this virus is teaching me about myself in that regard. I withdrew from school in 2017 after a mental health crisis and a suicide attempt. With American healthcare being what it is, I wasn't able to get the treatment I needed to address it. My school had a great health center, though, so I came back this past August to get help here. There's been a lot of personal growth since then, but this virus is definitely pushing me. One of the first things I did when I came back was to make a proactive effort to make a safety net of people around me I could lean on. That's gone. I started therapy, including a couple of groups. All the groups are cancelled, and my therapist quit. I'd been trying to get out more and not be alone as much, even if it just meant being in a public place. That's very limited now. Despite all of that, I just finished the hardest paper I've ever written, and got an A. I have been going to all my exams, and I'm feeling like I did pretty well on the ones I've taken so far. It's been rough, and, especially after 2017, I've been really anxious about school and falling back into that same depression I was fighting before. This time around, however, I've been able to keep getting back up in a way I didn't know I could. It has been incredibly difficult, and it's taken a lot out of me, but what this virus is teaching me is that I'm stronger now than I was, and that I really can do this.

EyeMWing

A short list of things I've learned about myself: 1) I CAN actually be less effective and productive at my job. And still nobody will notice. 2) That bottom sure is deeper than I thought. It's a real good thing I quit drinking last year. 3) The list of people and things I actually really care about is a lot shorter than I'd imagined. 4) When this ends, I need to completely change my life. New place, new job, mostly new people, new hobbys, new goals.

Rory Coble

How well my partner and I work as a team.

Lucas

I learned that I can tell my mom she needs to apply for unemployment because I can't handle the finances alone. I learned that you can buy a water distiller for 300$, or just make one for about 75$. I learned that I've been done with my crazy, abusive sister for a while, and not even the plague is enough to change that. I learned I need to call my friends more often. I learned that no matter what else, whatever it is, if I want it done, I must do the thing. No excuses.

Ryan Berry

I really AM as extroverted as I always thought! I am pretty much just doing my thing. I did devote some energy to a tortoise and his accompanied enclosure. But mostly? I'm just happy I don't talk to people on a regular basis; silly people....

Robert Launder

I learned that my feelings of isolation is more likely fear of missing out, because I haven't felt isolated during this even though I literally am.

J Bellomy

I've learned that I need structure! I've been lucky enough to continue to see my psychiatrist/therapist remotely, and it's something we've been working on. I couldn't keep to an exact schedule (and would beat myself up about it, and then would throw the whole day away, thus defeating the purpose), so we've tried alternatives. I've ended up settling on a bullet journal. Very late to the party on that front, but it's working for me, and it doubles as a creative outlet so I don't get completely annoyed with myself about the fact that I'm not doing other creative things.

J Bellomy

Also apologies for replying on a bunch of the above comments if any of you didn't want that. The other thing I've learned about myself is that I enjoy connecting with strangers online much more than I previously thought.

Salamander

I had considered myself more or less content. I'd overcome a lot of problems from my youth and gotten, finally, a college degree, an advanced degree, a career that feels meaningful and socially relevant, a home, and a family. An American dream of sorts. But nothing has ever set me face to face with various unconfronted demons like this hellscape of stay-at-home fretting, “homeschooling,” “working from home,” and isolation. I'm not sure anymore whether the American dream is even a worthy goal while so many people are structurally prevented from achieving it. I was well aware of my privilege relative to my community college students': I'm white and middle class and my parents are educated—if the chips were down they could help me out; I grew up speaking standard English, which qualifies me for many jobs that people who grew up with equally communicative but not equally valued dialects have to go through extra training to qualify for (I teach English and must correct my students’ perfectly adequate speech patterns so they have a modicum of access to the American superstructure); one of the members of my household is an Indian engineer who has great earning potential in San Francisco, where we live (and with whom I could flee the country if things get bad enough). These conditions have allowed me to pursue a career in education in a massively expensive city, which I could NOT do without that privilege since a teaching salary would barely cover food costs let alone everything else. Now, as I Zoom with students whose material conditions (hitherto abstractions) are suddenly visually apparent—whose hours have massively increased because they are poorly paid essential workers, or who have completely lost all revenue, or who live in huge extended families in cramped spaces, or who live completely alone, or have no access to health care—I’m realizing just how much the deck has been stacked in my favor. Some have disappeared but I don’t know whether I should drop them because I could mess up their visa status and access to veterans benefits. We are in the middle of a capitalist reckoning, and while I hope we are all confronting these massive lacunae in this capitalist system, I’m pretty pessimistic that we will learn from it. And those demons are just the national ones. I’m not even going to into the personal ones, but it’s all enough to keep me huddled and wide awake each night, which further erodes me well-being, work, and ability to parent. I want to believe in the future, but it’s starting to seem like the planet might be better off without us.

Zachary Molnar

While replaying Skyrim to pass the time, I thought I’d change things up and play the knave’s part: perhaps pick a few pockets or stab a few backs. Basically work out my quarantine angst in a Westworld inspired rampage. I couldn’t do it. Apparently my compulsive need to be liked extends to imaginary video game characters.

Vooster

I learned that when given an extra hour of free time every day - from not commuting - I will spend that time doing nothing. I'm not entertaining myself, I'm not working, I just kind of waste an hour on nervous dawdling. It's like I need that time to transition between "work mode" and "home mode", which is difficult because now I'm using the same desk and computer for both.

ローラ (Laura)

I found out my natural circadian rhythm is around 26 hours long or so. So if I let my body sleep and wake to what feels most comfortable, I slowly drift to being nocturnal and then back to diurnal.

Jonathan Ben Williams

I learned how much money I can save when I don't go out to restaurants every other day.

Condor

I learned that Dark Souls 2 is a better game then I had thought and that yes I can beat Scholar of the First Sin (DLC included)

Charles Craven

I've learned that without the structure of dressing professionally for work my personal hygiene is the first thing on the chopping block. I wash my hands almost religiously but I've had to shame myself into the shower. Also, the federal government REALLY needs to legalize weed before my budding alcoholism goes off a cliff. Or I could learn better stress coping mechanisms but that sounds hard.

Abhorsen Ailin

I have learned my real capacity for hatred towards those who are perfectly willing to sacrifice however many hundreds or thousands of people it takes to keep their stock shares profitable.

Philip Parkinson

I have learned that Yoga is harder than I thought. Also now that I have time to work on my home while listening to you rant; I know our government is more screwed up than ever. The sheer blatant crimes are becoming daily, not yearly. So, I take it out on the house. That damn dirty rug is now gone and I have bamboo floors now! No more dirt in my living room...except for you Cody.