Goblins and heroines still on my mind. (Patreon)

I still got orcs, goblins, and witches on the brain. In fact, I started outlining the next book I will post here. It will be a Ms Patriot / Justice Girl crossover. With an evil witch, orc shaman, and orc warriors.

Just because, I posted the below short story. It is one of the very first fantasy short stories I ever wrote, and I actually sold this to a small press magazine back in the early 1990s. It’s so long ago I cannot remember the name of the magazine, but I doubt it still exists. It is a very short story.

(BTW, had a storm go through a few days back, and my internet is super slow and patchy still. Sucks)

THE GOBLIN

Sir Trystan nervously peered through the brush at the cave entrance. He could see bones strewn about, half buried in the thick grass. Human bones. It was the hearth-cave of Ginerax, the vile monster that had stolen the beautiful Princess Talena. And he would be the one to save her.

He reassured himself that the quest was as easy as they get. Save a princess from a goblin, before he eats her. And it wasn't as if goblins were particularly big, or strong, or smart. They were small and green, and generally shied away from people. Except when hungry. Trystan shuttered at the thought of the exquisitely beautiful and delicate princess being roasted alive over a goblin firepit. How horrible.

Steeling himself for what might await him, what he might see, Trystan pulled his broadsword and strode purposely into the cave. It was dark and damp, with tiny animals scurrying about above and below.

"Gods, bats," he muttered. Covering his head with his shield, he bent low and continued on. "Filthy, dirty goblins."

A blood-curdling scream froze his heart. It was Princess Talena.

"My princess!" he cried, and took off running recklessly deeper into the cave. "Fear not, Sir Trystan is coming to save you!"

"Trystan!" he heard her scream, nearer now.

Within seconds he burst into a torch lit chamber. There was a thankfully empty spit over a cold firepit in the center. Like out front, human and animal bones were thrown haphazardly about. And cowering against the far wall was Princess Talena, big brown eyes wide with fear.

His heart all but burst with joy to see her alive and whole. So beautiful and vital, with long silky fine blonde hair and a firm young body half exposed though her ravaged gown. And her father, King Johann, who was without a male heir, had promised her and his kingdom to the noble knight who rescued her. He thought King Trystan had a noble ring to it.

"Talena! I've come!"

"Trystan, my love!" she cried, throwing her arms wide in joyful greeting.

As he rushed to her arms, he realized that she was alone. Why had she screamed? Did he scare away that vile goblin monster?

As if to answer him, Ginerax fell onto his back from above. With a scream of pain and surprise, Trystan twisted and turned as he tried to dislodge the goblin. Meanwhile, Ginerax was savaging his neck and shoulder with a small dagger and sharpened teeth.

Hurling the goblin from him finally, Trystan moved to place himself between it and Princess Talena. He did a quick inventory of his injuries, and gratefully found none that could be fatal. Indeed, he found the idea of the terrible scars he'd have rather satisfying. It would make his deed seem even more heroic and romantic. Gods, the songs they will sing about him!

"Now die, you loathsome beast!" he cried as he took a step toward the stunned goblin.

"I don't think so," Talena said.

Before he could turn to face her, his head exploded with pain and blackness. He staggered to one knee, looking up at his beautiful princess preparing to strike him again with a thick club. And he was too weak and shocked to defend himself.

Princess Talena struck the hapless knight twice more before he lay still, moaning and barely conscious. She breathed a sigh of relief, and then turned angrily on the goblin.

"You imbecile," she snapped. "You almost got yourself killed."

For a brief second Trystan thought she was talking to him.

"I'm sorry, sugar dumpling," Ginerax all but whined, nervously wringing his hands. "He was stronger than I expected."

Her scowl quickly twisted into an affectionate smile.

"Its okay, Ginerax, my beloved." The goblin quickly scrambled over the knight to give her a hug. After a moment, she continued, "Now be a darling and help me get dear Trystan properly spitted."

"My princess, how could you?" Trystan started, with Talena ending his plea with a swift whack on the head.

Twice more Talena had to hit him over the head while they stripped him, then tied him to the long iron spit. Once that was done, she started working on the fire.

"Ginerax, dearest," she said. "Do go out and gather some fruits and vegetables for dinner."

"As you wish, my lovely," he said, giving her a hideous goblin smile.

Sir Trystan awoke to find himself being turned over a fire by Princess Talena, humming contently of goblin love. And ignoring Trystan's desperate pleas.