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What a first Xena ep to start the new year! Our fav blonde villian is back and Hunter spends the ENTIRE episode losing her mind, and the first half wishing death on Perdicus hahaha

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XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS | S02E05 - The Return of Callisto

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Rayve

I’m so excited for this one!!

Girl4Music

So much happens in ‘Return Of Callisto’ but despite the pacing being very rushed, none of it feels heavy-handed except the stuff that is supposed to be. Like how they show you Gabrielle and Perdicus getting married immediately after Gabrielle excepts his proposal and all the quick pacing of that intercut with the long lingering shots on Xena looking all kinds of conflicted and then the even longer shots of Xena and Gabrielle together saying goodbye. It’s very clear what the writer and director wants to represent here. Of what they consider more important. How such quick, unexpected changes affects these lead female characters and their ever-evolving relationship together. In any other love story between female characters that is truly platonic, that wouldn’t even be an element of the story even worth highlighting because the m/w relationship matters more. But the tension there before the main drama happens (Perdicus getting killed by Callisto after their wedding and Gabrielle going on a venge-streak to avenge him) is palpable. It’s something they really hone in on. That focus on tension and awkwardness between the leads. Obviously it’s because it’s not truly platonic at all. It’s romantic. Even if nothing is being said outright. R.J. and T.J. as this episode’s respective writer and director make it clear that it’s still X&G even when other love interests (Perdicus) are involved because they don’t really focus too much on anything else but how things are changing between the female leads and what it might mean now there’s a love interest in the way. And even if those changes happen to go ahead, once again fate steps in to “save them” by way of killing off the man in the narrative. Instead of one of the women. Well… that’s Xena. That’s how it works in Xena. The complete total opposite to how it works elsewhere. Unless… of course… the romance between the female characters is fully canon maintext and not subtext. Does it really make a difference when the creators make it look canon regardless of it being subtext? No, not in Xena it doesn’t. It really doesn’t because they don’t make you sit through all the heteronormative bullshit. And they use the “man-insert” as a vehicle to drive them to the storytelling they actually want to have. To get on to the real deal. The WLW love story. But at the same time - they don’t diminish the impact. Good creators don’t sacrifice honesty for an agenda. Even if the agenda happens to miraculously be ours when that’s never the case in anything else ever made unless it’s purposefully made to be canonically queer. We know the creators are in our corner. But at the same time, they know there’s arcs that need to be concluded. These creators want the WLW love story just as we fans do, but they also want to do right by the lead female characters’ individual representation and development. They don’t play on it too long. Just as long as they need to to get across what they need to. Gabrielle’s turmoil. Regardless of whether she loved Perdicus or not, this man layed down his life for her. She feels that guilt probably more so because she wasn’t being honest with him or with herself that she wanted to marry him. It was the easy way out and it had grave consequences. The ironic thing is, is that she probably thought the opposite would be the case. That he was safer with her in the way that she was always much safer with Xena. Besides the grief and bloodlust, the driving force in Gabrielle was more so out of guilt than it was in love. If she couldn’t protect him in life, the least she could do was avenge his death. And she couldn’t even do that. Thus even more guilt piled on top of that mountain of guilt she was already feeling at being dishonest with him about her feelings for him and about saying “yes”. One huge mistake. That’s what they choose to focus on in ‘Return Of Callisto’. Not the m/w relationship. Not even necessarily the w/w one. But the relationship with the self. What a smart and honestly admirable choice. Especially considering they’re playing both sides of the chess board on what they’re supposed to be delivering. I hope all I’ve just said makes sense. R.J. and T.J. are two of Xena’s creators that are the most “ship-friendly”. But they’re also two of the most authentic as well. They won’t play by an agenda if it compromises storytelling. Now go watch literally anything else ever made that isn’t completely canonically queer where the agenda is the opposite. Do they do the same? Do they intend it? Xena is such a unique experience. I can’t even explain it. It’s the one WLW show that did even when it couldn’t. But it’s also the one WLW show that wouldn’t put too much focus on WLW if there’s a greater story to tell. As a queer female as well as an enthusiast of sincere storytelling in TV art/entertainment, I am very grateful for this because I don’t ever want to be pandered to if the result of it is an inauthentic and nonsensical mess that only ever damages or invalidates female stories - especially when it comes to using queer storytelling.

mary smith

Such a phenomenal episode! I agree with you both that the most complex moment of the episode was Xena letting Callisto die. To me, it was 100% a backslide in her quest for redemption. However I agree with hunter, that she did for Gabrielle's peace of mind and by default her own. If Gabrielle had grieved normally after perdicus' death, I think Xena would have rescued Callisto and taken her back to prison. However seeing how dark Gabrielle got terrified Xena, and I think she feared the potential that gabrielle could reach that level again should Callisto hang around with the ability to psychologically torture her. I think Xena Selflessly (or selfishly) took that decision out if Gabrielle's hands and would rather bear the burden of darkness so Gabrielle wouldn't have to.

Herbert West MD

RIP Perdicus, he died to further intensify the homoerotic relationship between 3 women 😅 Xena is down bad for Gabrielle, you can see it all over her face in that crazy wedding scene 😆 I think Gabrielle made her decision to marry Perdicus after Xena gave her that "go ahead marry him it's fine by me I don't mind" speech... it's like they both have feelings for each other but Gabrielle doesn't know what to do with that yet, and Xena is too afraid to ruin Gabrielle with her darkness, and neither of them is admiting it ha! This episode has it all, 10/10 indeed 😁

Girl4Music

Great reaction. Hunter there are no series regulars in this show. It’s a duo-led cast all the way through. It’s just Xena (Lucy) and Gabrielle (Renee). That’s how they wanted it. We need to talk about the framing of the scene after Gabrielle and Perdicus get married and Xena and Gabrielle go off on their own to talk. The way they frame that scene, it looks like they’re the ones getting married and not Gabrielle and Perdicus. And the whole thing is totally intentional. Steven L. Sears did say in his podcast with She Nerds Out that he intentionally wrote Gabrielle as a comphet lesbian who was struggling internally with the sudden realization that she was gay and falling in love with Xena. So that scene where Xena and Gabrielle talk just before Gabrielle and Perdicus get married - that was intentionally written as if Xena was giving her blessing because she couldn’t say what she really wanted to say but Gabrielle was waiting for any indication NOT to go ahead with the marriage from her and just didn’t get it. Steven said that scene broke his heart. He remembers it vividly because for him it was a pivotal moment of clarity for the two characters who were in love with each other but just couldn’t go there. So that’s why Gabrielle marries Perdicus. She was just “running home to mama” as he put it. It was the safer and most familiar option for her because neither of them could face it. It was very interesting the way that he explained it. And now I watch that one scene completely differently to the way I used to and regard it as a very important one. All because of Steven and the way he interprets it. You see, everyone credits Liz Friedman for it because she’s a gay woman (and I’m not saying she didn’t do her part because she did) but really the creators that completely championed the love between Xena and Gabrielle as queer love were 2 white heterosexual men. That was Steven L. Sears and R.J. Stewart. Because they’re were the ones giving us the most “main-text-y” moments between the characters. Plausible-deniability in Xena is very thin when it’s them because they were absolutely on-board with the ship.

Girl4Music

I’ve just watched ‘Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts’ again after this ‘Return Of Callisto’ reaction. Haven’t seen it for a while but something struck me on the rewatch. I know I never picked up on this before because I don’t really pay attention to Gabrielle with other love interests. Not even the more significant ones - which I guess you could say Perdicus is since she does end up marrying him - however fleeting their wedding and marriage was. But Gabrielle told Perdicus that he didn’t belong in a war zone. That he wasn’t a soldier and that he should go home before he gets hurt. Now,… I couldn’t care less about the romance between them but I think it was very interesting that she told him this when this has been the lifestyle she chose for herself. Why - in her mind - is Perdicus not allowed to do the same? Is it possible that the reason she thinks this way is because he is on his own doing it and that she isn’t? Does she think he is more at risk of getting hurt or even killed than she is just because he doesn’t travel around with a notorious and formidable warrior and she does? Second question following on with this line of thought: Is that why she agreed to marry him? To protect him. Did she somehow think that if he had a companion by his side - one that is very aware of the amount of risks and consequences - he’d be safer? If so, that has got to add on to her guilt when he finally does get killed. That she couldn’t protect him. But then again I’m not so sure because what we saw of them as married partners wasn’t the dynamic Xena and Gabrielle have. In fact - they both seemed to have just given up on warriorship entirely and just decided to do the stereotypical m/w settle down and have kids thing. The exact thing neither of them wanted to begin with. Wasn’t this already a glaring hint that that wasn’t right? Not just that they shouldn’t be together but also that they shouldn’t be living the stereotypical m/w lifestyle. If anything - you’d think they’d be warriors together if any of this romance between them was ever meant to be. That’s so interesting though. A lot to peruse my thoughts on. A lot to analyze in show and out of it. What were the writers even getting at with having this happen? It seems to me that they doomed the romantic arc in ‘Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts’ by having Gabrielle say what she does to Perdicus without looking in the mirror because what makes her choice any different? The only thing that makes any difference is… Xena. 🫤 She has Xena. He doesn’t. And when she marries him she tells him straight up on her wedding night that she was more worried about Xena because she doesn’t have anyone… unlike her… So that’s got to be the only reason she married Perdicus. Not just so HE would have someone… But so she could convince herself that she does too and that it doesn’t have to be a dark beautiful warrior woman who she still cannot stop thinking about even on her god damn wedding night... to a man,… no less. And it’s not just Perdicus that this happens with. He is just the best example. It happens every time. Gabrielle - honey… straight girls don’t do this. Trust me. Straight girls don’t start a romance with the opposite gender - straight girls don’t GET MARRIED to the opposite gender - only to ever think and talk about their same-sex best friend ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT! I had a point with this post. I seemed to have lost it. 🤡 Oh yeah, warriorship. She chose the lifestyle of a warrior. Apparently “fell in love” while in a war zone and got married to a soldier who she believed shouldn’t be one and should go home. Not for one second in all that time lecturing Perdicus did she think “Oh, ha. I also did that. So why am I saying he can’t?” Hypocrite much? I’ll say it again for good measure: she was thinking about Xena ‘cause she’s always thinking about Xena. She skipped on the self-awareness in that moment because she knew it can’t apply to her. She has Xena. And there you go. There’s the answer to all of this arc. She already has Xena. So why does she marry Perdicus? For Perdicus… because he doesn’t have a Xena. So that’s what she tries to be for him then. His Xena. Simultaneously, she tries to “fix him” like a Gabrielle. So she marries Perdicus and now all she can think or talk about on her wedding night of all inconvenient times… is that Xena no longer has a Gabrielle. 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ This chaotic lesbian. This absolutely crazy baby gay. This girl literally tried to hetero herself so many times she just ended up turning herself even more queer because she just kept presenting herself with more opportunities to think and talk even more about Xena. Of course it’s sad what happens and I’m sure she never really got over the guilt that he practically died for her. But she should have just stuck with what she told Lila in the first episode because she never really did love him. Perdicus would have likely gotten himself killed anyway. It wasn’t on her what his lifestyle choices were in the same way that it was never on him what her lifestyle choices were and I cannot believe she didn’t realize this when she said what she did to him in ‘Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts’. The only thing I can believe is that her head was somewhere else - on someone else - at the time she said it because she’s not an absolute airhead. What she is is completely oblivious of her queerness even though she’s chosen the queer narrative herself. Rewatching these early episodes after not having seen any of them for a long time is a complete experience. I feel like I keep getting bashed over the head with new insight that all the more confirms that X&G is the ship.

HiCo

Oh wow what an episode right? Callisto being the most sweet innocent pookie who never did a thing wrong again! 🥰 That wedding scene, what a masterpiece of subtext. The actual het marriage is so bland in comparison to what goes on between X & G in the same scene. X looking crushed whenever G is not looking. Both of then smiling to each other then looking sad while they hug then back to smiling. The music goes from simple plinky plonk stuff while Perd and G are getting hitched but the romantic melodies swell up when X and G have their kiss. (Lucy: XENA SLIPPED HER THE TONGUE!!). X and G walk off to say goodbye arm in arm while Perd drags G off at an arms distance. Then to follow it with the wedding night where G cannot stop talking about X either. So much material there to spot on a rewatch! ⚢ I love how Xena who can catch arrows in mid-air, escape a burning building by jumping up through the roof and outfight a literal God, responds to Callisto attacking Perd with the same energy as a magical candy factory owner does to a fat kid getting stuck in the chocolate pipe. Help. Police. Murder. 😐 Love love love they had that scene with Callisto threatening to kill Theodorus is he tried it on with her because she has no interest in love although there is definitely one 6 foot tall blue eyed exception to that. I mean bringing her favourite bondage funtime chair is foreplay to her right? She's so thoughtful that way! 🥰

Herbert West MD

That X&G kiss scene is insane 😆 I agree with Tash that they put the Xena/Perdicus kiss there so they could say "it's a custom! So it's normal to kiss your best friend in the mouth at her wedding!" 😆 but while the Xena/Perdicus kiss was quick, shot in the background and quite awkward, the X&G kiss was shot up close, with longing loving looks between them and soft music that swells up as they kiss, so it's clear it was shot with romantic intentions 😆 just crazy

MsMcGoo

10/10 reaction. oh man the season really does pick up now.

Rayve

Great reaction! Hunter is all of us 😂 “wtf is this boy doing back? Wait, marriage? Wait, what???” And then Gabrielle saying she hasn’t felt that close with anyone (except Xena), and that kiss, Xena’s face as they hug in the temple, Gabrielle demanding to learn the sword, and the moonlight prayer, ugh. So many powerful moments from both of them. A really solid episode, despite the first half. Definitely one we don’t skip on a rewatch, we just half pay attention for the first bit.

Leslie M

Here's a question I've always wondered about. Did Xena ever tell Gabby exactly how Callisto died? Did she tell her that she could have saved Callisto and made the deliberate decision not to? Or did she just tell her that the chariot race led to Callisto being flung into quicksand and dying. Would Xena feel it was more important to be honest with Gabrielle and to let her know that Xena had taken revenge for her? Or would she feel it was more important to protect Gabrielle from ultimately feeling responsible for someone's death, which would, conveniently, keep up Xena imagine in Gabrielle's eyes as a person who is striving to always do the right thing?

Leslie M

This may be my favorite reaction yet. I'm going to have to re-watch it, because I was laughing so hard at Hunter's reactions to the whole Perd story that I know I missed some of it. So much fun!

2 Girls 1 Episode

If my watching ability is accurate, I believe in Intimate Stranger they share a scene in which Xena says “I let her die Gabrielle.” And Gabby responds “This is such a mess. You wish you hadn’t killed her. Joxer wishes he had killed her. And I wish she had never been born” 🤔 so I don’t think Xena lied to her about anything. -Hunter

Leslie M

As for Xena's yell, I have always assumed that Lucy is able to do that, at least in part, because of the training she had when she wanted to be an opera singer. But that's just speculation.

Leslie M

I hope Tash is able to get that "Xena slipped her the tongue" clip to Hunter. It's from the DVD audio and video commentaries and it's priceless. In that same commentary, Lucy is really disgusted when they get to the wedding night scene. I'm not sure if she actually says ""yuck," but she definitely conveys that. Lucy is always right!

2 Girls 1 Episode

“Xena’s recruiting… THAT’S BIZARRE!” I’ve seen it multiple times haha -Hunter

2 Girls 1 Episode

I watched it earlier and couldn’t get over how absolutely disgusted I was the entire first half. I was ruthless. “SLIT HIS THROAT!” *10 minutes later he dies* “Omg I didn’t want him to die!” *Tash* “HERE ARE THE RECEIPTS!” So freakin hilarious man

2 Girls 1 Episode

She's seen it haha, it was sent not long after we finished watching this ep. Don't worry I am making sure she gets everything haha - Tash

Leslie M

Such a good friend!

Girl4Music

Exactly what I said. They just can’t face the truth. Gabrielle was waiting for anything. Any reason to not go through with it and Xena’s just like “I give you my blessing” 🙄

Girl4Music

Until it was mentioned in the reaction I never even knew Xena kissed Perdicus on the mouth. Why would I pay attention to that? 😂

Girl4Music

Lucy always does it at conventions so yes, she is able to do the yell. They did originally want an African tribal yodel but Lucy couldn’t do that so made up her own ululating war cry and that’s what they went with.

2 Girls 1 Episode

To be fair, I’m always looking at Xena when she’s anywhere on my screen haha. -Hunter

2 Girls 1 Episode

I feel like someone told me this info a few months back, that Steven wrote Gabrielle this way because she’s still not in touch with her sexuality and she thinks this is what she wants. As so many lesbians do. The self sabotage in a straight relationship. To me the way it reads is, she knows she loves Xena but she’s not sure in what capacity that love is. She has 0 experience. And with Perd, he’s a familiar friendly face she grew up with therefore thinks the feeling of “Oh I care about this person’s happiness” just automatically means “Hey this MUST be love right?” I mean hell he was saying it to her so surely that must be what love is. Not sure if I really said any of that right but all in all she married him because she thought that was what love felt like and she wasn’t ready to fully come to terms with the feelings she has for Xena 🤷🏻‍♀️ ai’m so annoyed I can’t think of the way this person described it, it had made so much sense. -Hunter

Girl4Music

Are you sure it wasn’t me? Because I literally explained this in another comment. I probably explained it elsewhere too. I know exactly what you mean though. That’s why I interpret Gabrielle to be a comphet lesbian and not bisexual. Xena is bisexual. And as you continue to watch the show, you’ll see for yourself that that interpretation is more accurate.

2 Girls 1 Episode

I honestly don’t remember. It was said to me on Twitter a few months back.

Herbert West MD

To be fair, you really have to squint to see it, since it's waaaaay in the background 😆

Herbert West MD

I side with Gabrielle, Xena keeps on giving her mixed signals ha ! I'd be annoyed as well 😆 her little "joke" giving Xena her bouquet seems more passive aggressive this way, "this could've been us if you weren't such a coward" 😆

Jian Jal

Perdicus: "Gabrielle will you be my wife?" Xena: 🧿🧿 *traumatized* Also, saying Hudson is tiny... isnt she like 5'8"? 😂😭

Lea

Great reactions from ya both. I am still in the minority here and everybody has unpacked most everything. I disagree with some ideas on moments, but everybody can see what they wanna see as far as the show itself... But hunter losing her mind and Tasha losing her mind over hunter losing her mind - episodic gold - so thank you. It was fun... now gotta wait at least 2 weeks for another round.... im excited for the next grouping - they are all good for different reasons. Can't wait to see the reactions. Thanks again

HiCo

Just rewatched this as a treat. 🥰