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Page 1441 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-10 12:23:13
Imported:
2026-06
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Kat

Yeah, that reaction isn’t really surprising. Asexuality (and possibly also aromanticism in Tori’s case?) can be difficult to talk about with people, because there’s hardly any framework for it. I actually have a harder time telling people about being demisexual than being bi. There’s a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding out there. Even amongst people who are otherwise highly enlightened about sexuality and gender. And that lack of framework also makes it really difficult to figure out for yourself. I am really hopeful we’ll eventually see Tori opening up to Charlie more - whether that be her informing him of what she’s figured out, or her asking for his advice and help on her self-discovery journey. For now, I get why she’s shutting down here. There’s probably something uniquely difficult about explaining a queerplatonic or non-“traditional” romantic and/or sexual relationship, when everyone has such set expectations of what relationships should look like and is making assumptions. Whatever happens, I am here for the ride.

Nils

Okay I have to admit I have no clue about the Aro/Ace thing. Sorry if I offend. But isn't Charlie right, in a way? Tori and Michael do seem to get a long very well, couldn't one make the case that they are dating? Every date is different and if you spend lots of time with a person you like on an exclusive base isn't that some kind of dating?

a book dragon
>>106054332

You're so right (as usual!), @Kat. I thought I was well versed in community related topics, but it was just last week on a thread here that I learned the term demisexual (and it applies to me!)!

Beam Bugge

this can go in so many directions I am so nervous ahhhh

Kat
>>106057470

This is by no means extensive, but I found this article to be a good jumping off point on the concept of queerplatonic relationships: https://archermagazine.com.au/2022/06/queerplatonic-relationships-aromantic-love-story/ (I also highly, highly, highly recommend Alice’s book Loveless!) I don’t know if Michael and Tori have a queerplatonic relationship, or if it’s a romantic or sexual relationship that doesn’t fit into the confines of “traditional” dating, (or a secret third thing). But I think understanding the concept of queerplatonic relationships and why some aro/ace people choose to use that term may help to understand why Charlie trying to put traditional romantic labels (and sexual implications) on her relationship with Michael could make Tori uncomfortable. Generally I think it’s just a good idea to let people label (or not label) their relationships for themselves? Not everyone is comfortable with the “dating” box, mostly because of assumptions people make.

Nils
>>106057470

thank you. Didn't know about that label. Makes more sense that way.

Anonymous

oh god im so nervous about his mom

Susan Bridges

I am a bit worried about the fact that Charlie is wearing Nick’s jumper. Parents can be sensitive about something like that.

Bob Scardino

I don't suppose we'll be seeing a live action version of Solitaire any time soon.

Anonymous

Alright no more conversations please everyone just go to bed and get some sleep 😴

Lindsey S

As someone who is on the aro spectrum (and possibly ace? i still haven’t fully figured that part about myself out yet 😅) I totally understand Tori finding it difficult to explain to Charlie what a relationship looks like for her. My siblings are ALL queer and I still haven’t talked to them about my identities because it’s hard to explain to even queer people, because even they don’t have a lot of knowledge about the aro/ace part of the community.

Nathaniel S.
>>106087944

I still have difficulty explaining it myself but I think more people are realizing that there's a lot of grey area between 'friend' and 'partner' that doesn't necessarily fit typical relationship conventions but which works really well for a lot of people. I mean, there's the 'friend with benefits' concept but the 'benefits' usually implies casual sex, not like, cuddles.

Leah Della Croce

Speaking as a fellow ace here, I found it incredibly hard to talk to my siblings about this even though we're close... so I just don't. It's much easier to confide in my best friends. Especially because I'm in a committed long term relationship and I feel like that confuses people even more