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GAM Bonus 092: Anaconda (Patreon)

Published:
2024-07-02 19:31:47
Edited:
2024-07-07 22:40:33
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

Sorry to keep you waiting for this one...

Comments

CarrieBoo

MY BODY IS READY

Matty B

Oh my goodness I can't wait.

Emily Haley

Did Eli say cheesecake instead of beefcake around the 22:16 mark or is that a phrase I’ve never heard?

Nolan B.

I love these 90’s “big budget” secular reviews. I wish we got more of these, as much as I love the regular feed episodes. Van Damme has some more gems guys..just saying.

Markus Nävergård

all these creature features just harm the animals they feature, i mean not only do they depict them in a wildly unflattering way, they also must invent horrible stuff that they do " Anacondas vomits up their food to eat it again and they rape puppies every sunday" Anacondas do have heat sensory pits on their upper jaw, but that is because they are semiaquatic and hunt in the amazon river and tributaries, yes worlds largest snake by mass, not by length, just like lake placid, they are cold blooded reptiles, once they eaten something, they can go for weeks just laying in the sun to digest. they are not super hyper single minded eating machines. The only snake that would somewhat fit the description of the anaconda in this movie, would be the extinct Titanoboa. If we go by " most ferocious creature on earth" i mean top 1-10 would just be humans. Humans are insane, they can just kill you for no fucking reason.

Adam Pope

Blood Orchid was better

Taylor Putnam

Google AI fed you some shit, Noah. The closest thing I could find is 4 deaths from boars over the last 100 years specifically in the US (I saw one researchers quoted as saying he thinks that's wildly underreported, but no idea how true that is), but worldwide boars have killed almost 200 people just since 2000.

Nate

JUNE BONUS IN JULY!!! Woooooooooooo!!! Double bonus month!!!!

Kemplify

my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't, my anaconda don't won't nun unless u got bunz hun...

Peter Curufea

I was also surprised you hadn't done this!

Lora Forsyth

I'm just here for the snake nerds to correct this episode/ movie.

LisaLisa

I'm thinking...a Van Damme/Segal/Stallone spin-off called...Damme Awful Movies

Nolan B.

A spin-off show like that would be perfect. Add Arnold movies and some other bad video game movies to it.

Robert Muse

The voice of the snake was done by the man with a golden toilet Frank Welker

Markus D

As soon as they mentioned that the Anaconda had a voice actor I thought, "it was absolutely Fred Tatasciore or Frank Welker". And Tatasciore wasn't acting for most of the 90s.

Markus D

Humans always leaving humans out of the animal rankings...

Markus D

"Cheesecake" in this context typically refers to a picture of someone (usually a woman) that is slightly suggestive/erotic without being outright porn. Think pin-up girls. Eli is saying that Jon Voight is acting like he's trying to look sexy for the camera.

Unofficial_Opinion

The guy credited with the voice of the snake is Frank “Optimus Prime” Welker! Put some respect on his name.

Markus Nävergård

because we think ourselves seperate. Wonder if we+d do that if there where still other Human species around

Emily Haley

That’s a new phrase for me! I love that he went with cheesecake here instead of beefcake. Learn something new from this community every day. Thanks, Markus D! Have a lovely Wednesday.

Emily Haley

Boars can be aggressive for sure! but I can’t imagine how they’d specifically go for the eyes

Unofficial_Opinion

Oh of course! Lol. Brain went one way, fingies went the other. Not Peter Cullen. Oops. Oh Well.

Renee Y Bisel

Such a waste of Frank Welker's voice.

Taru Tikkanen

The snake as Jerry Lewis made me laugh a lot.

Starshark

Didn't even notice this ep was late. Can I complain about the scheduling anyway?

Chris McTiger

As the old saying goes: "When you drop a thing in the Amazon River, you can be sure that it's gone forever"

Starshark

Not a correction, just an interesting fact: Pythons do vomit, usually to jettison excess baggage when they're in danger. A wildlife rescuer around here was called in to move a python, and it threw up a live tree frog. Boy, did THAT ever give me chills. The frog apparently lived. Now I have a phobia of being swallowed alive. Won't watch Nope. Fortunately, as far as phobias go, it's one of the better ones. Generally, human predators don't swallow you alive, they have the manners to kill you first.

Starshark

That said, I doubt a giant anaconda would bother, especially not to re-digest like it's chewing cud or something.

Hazel Cat Lady

No love for Kari Wuhrer? She's a d-movie staple, guys, I'm disappointed!

mortalwren

I'm too big of a snake nerd foe this episode like when heath went "the snake winks at her with its one eye" I immediately out loud went "and it's lack of eyelids"

mortalwren

Tho I will add, that's not a critique of heath, that would absolutely add to the insanity of this movie's snake knowlege

Denise Huston

Can I say I’m shocked that Noah of all people draws the line at sexy Latin flirting.

Denise Huston

Noah NOAH We NEED to know the rest of your cat's names. You drop them into conversation and they are a trip every goddamn time.

J. Vizzle

It's weird hearing you guys say my name like 75 times (my legal first name is John).

Markus Nävergård

their knowledge of snakes are so out of whack i ams uprised they did not say that the snake god Kukulkan was a real flying snake

Markus Nävergård

the opposite of that are folks that have a sexual fetish of being eaten whole and alive

Taylor Putnam

Oh yeah that definitely sounds very silly to me haha

Markus Nävergård

I´ve seen documentaries with David Attenburough. And yes he does go out live amongst the animals, like covering himself in seaweed ad ditritus so to mask hiss cent while filming albatross chicks, he is very meticulouse about his work

Markus Nävergård

those south american wild pigs are named Peccaries, but they can be dangerous animals. they run and goes for your legs to flip you over or trip you. There is a larger species the white lipped Peccary that will challange jaguars. Also the Amazons are home to Giant river otters.sting rays, river dolphines and various species of Caimens ( alligator relatives with shorter snouts) and the largest of wich is the Black caimen which can take on and eat anacondas.

Markus Nävergård

Caimens are like Alligators but smaller and somehow more adorable

Markus Nävergård

the penis fish has spikes on its fins so it hooks itself in there. they are parasitic and usually attach themselves to the gills of larger fish. they are attracted to the warm stream of water( or urine)

Ana Aguilera

Who is Noah referring to when he’s talking about bad CGI Stravinsky?

Total Absolutism

Strawinsky and the Mysterious House, I presume. They did it earlier.

Timothy Lehnerer

Danny Trejo did a Random Roles interview with the Onion A/V Club and turned out to know the most about the Amazon River out of anyone in the cast or crew because of his grade school teacher doing a really in-depth unit on the Amazon decades before.

Ana Aguilera

Thanks ! I thought they were referring to Michael J Straczynski & Babylon 5 back when special effects were not the best but is a great sci-fi series. The movie Strawinsky is horrifying, worse than the last claymation movie they reviewed.

Angela Earle

OMG, now I love him even more! I want him to walk with me all day and do a running commentary on my life…… especially when I am being a nurse in the hospital!

Michael Champion

How did toy not know this, I guess he's only been doing it since 1954!

Michael Champion

Sir David Attenborough, also known as Great Grandad to half the houses in the UK, was a naturalist and zoologist by training, and wildlife film presenter by occupation. Since 1954 he has been going all over the world to see the wildlife in their natural habitat and presenting on this. He is the greatest broadcaster of all time. You must see him with the gorilla's if you can.

Bradley Gilbert

Ice Cube has a history of not eating pork. It's a part-Islam part Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction

Kristine VanRaalte

Eli, would you consider coming to a kid's 20th bday party as Lightning McQueen? I would love to prank my son that way!!

Kristine VanRaalte

You know, if christians can try to dress up churches as schools, why can't we open schools masquerading as churches?

Greg Brooks

I am overcommitted on podcasts, and so I’m way behind on normal GAMs, but I always make sure to listen to the bonus eps. So good.

Markus Nävergård

where you in this movie? you have to tell us, it´s like being a cop

BT Dubs

I'm conflicted. Being about 2 or 3 years older than Noah, Cecil, or Tom, I grew up on a lot of 80s rap music, including N.W.A./ Ice Cube. Now that Mr. Cube has gone all anti-vax and kicked it with Tucker Carlson I struggle to keep his shit in my Spotify playlists, much less listen to any of it. Seriously - fuck that guy.

Markus Nävergård

i feel ya. I used to listen to iced earth. then i saw their front man was in Jan 6 and,yep there goes all your songs.

nonnero667

Sad to say that Jack Black is now playing in the anaconda reboot playing the exact character he played in minecraft. What happened to him.

Erin and Gilford Murphy

If you want a bad movie that doesn’t know it’s a bad movie, watch Demons by Dario Argento. Watched this on the last day of a horror cinema class one summer and my god, we were all rolling in our seats. It’s bad in the way only an Italian horror film from the 80s can be.

Lucy Cortez

Please do the new one also. Bring this full circle.