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Hi all, some of you have suggested rather than us picking three movies and having you vote that we just start a thread for YOU to make the suggestions and then we pick one of them. So....In celebration of the release of D&D Minus we want your TERRIBLE FANTASY SUGGESTIONS. Knights. Swords. Dragons and sorcery. Give us your best shot 

Comments

Natalie L.

It’s an obvious pick, but the Tom Hanks D&D-esque movie Mazes & Monsters

Icculus90

Has to be 2011’s Your Highness, right?

Sarvis

Fantastic Beasts, and Where to Find Them. The second one might be worse, but the first is a bit of a mess.

Troublemaker Jake

Any of the Beastmaster or its 2 sequels. Or.... all 3 in a marathon. Krull, or... and this one may be to much for you.. The Sword and The Sorceror(1982) Bull from Night Court is the main Villain.

Atheist101

I second D&D the movie. Think it would be perfect with the release of DnD minus

Alastair Lichten

The awful Dungeons & Dragons movie (2000 with Justin Whalin).

Alysha L

A Kid in King Arthur's Court (1995)

Colin Young

Reign of Fire. It's been a very long time since I watched it, but I remember it being fucking nonsense. Giant dragons burn everything to the ground to feast on the calorie-rich... ash?

GeekOfDoom

Ballsy... stupid, but ballsy. I would say "The 10th kingdom" but it's literally 7 hours long. So, "Pan's Labyrinth"

Regina Calabrese

Bloodrayne. PLEASE, for the love of Anna’s violin.

Charles Carter

Mythica: They try hard, and fail spectacularly, they are so much fun to watch

Regina Calabrese

I’m still weirded out they haven’t done this one yet.

Hazel

The 2000 Dungeons and Dragons movie is pretty bad, there's Dragonheart for bad Sean Connery, Krull, Beastmaster, Mazes & Monsters, and of course Conan the Barbarian!

Bird Lawyer, Esquire

The Live-Action He-Man movie is classically bad. Also the movie Rock & Rule isn't exactly a traditional fantasy but it's god awful.

Mr Pudifoot

Hawk the Slayer! They tried making a sequel on kickstarter, but it wasn’t funded. 😕

Christopher Brian

Any of the In the Name of the King movies. Jason Statham and Dr. Dolph Lundgren are in those. Also coke bloated Ray Liotta.

Regina Calabrese

And like Godzilla 1998, you end up rooting for the big scaly things because the humans are that fucking annoying.

Leslie Marchant

HE MAN and the Masters of the Universe!! It's already got its own product line!

Klondike

Any of the Dragon Heart movies that came out after the first one. Pretty sure you can find them all on Netflix

Patrick Carr

1987s Masters of the Universe, starring A Dolph Lundgren

Ilan Woll

The Dungeons and Dragons movie,

Gremlin

Gotta back the Conan movies, although you could always go with something Hercules related - Sorbo in his natural environment!

Medicare for All, Meathooks for McConnell

I know, right? This is pretty much Jeremy Iron's awkward teenage years of movies. That time when they thought they could remake Star Wars' success in a pure fantasy setting. The movie even has its own murder hobo.

El Oso Café

Eragon. Doesn't make ANY gawdamn sense but John Malkovich is delightful.

Markus D

Pan's Labyrinth is GOOD, you fucking heathen.

Donovan "Ravenhull"

I believe it was called The Sword and and the Sorceress. He wielded a sword with three blades (two could be launched), and she was topless most of the time.

PM_DM

The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising. Its on youtube, has a super low budget, but is better than it should be while simultaneously being rediculous enough to make fun of.

A.J.

Dungeons and Dragons the movie, Conan the Destroyer, Red Sonja.

Markus D

I'm going to have to back the Dungeons and Dragons movie because it's bafflingly awful. Like I have no idea who thought any of the decisions made were good ones. In the Name of the King is also a good suggestion, though I have Phelous' review to fall back on for that one.

Hail Stan

Gotta recommend Willow. It's a great bad-good fantasy movie.

Florence Brull

Only mildly fantasy, but severely god-awful: season of the witch

Neel Upadhyaya

The Dungeons and Dragons movie or Highlander

Hail Stan

Are you talking about the Dolph Lundgren movie adaptation? If so, two votes.

Markus D

In the future, sure, but it's definitely not "fantasy movie".

Jenna Kessell

Yep, I'm an idiot and missed that part.

Trev

Krull. It's a glorious 80' fantasy movie with magic, lasers a cyclops and a ton of unintentional humor. If you loved the old Sinbad movies, but found the acting, story, and visual effects to be just a bit too realistic, you will love this movie.

Markus D

I think you could have Star Wars success in a "pure fantasy setting", I mean, Lord of the Rings is basically that? But this movie didn't have a chance because it's a bizarre mess.

Taru Tikkanen

The Dungens and Dragons movie from 2000 seems like a good pick.

Medicare for All, Meathooks for McConnell

Lord of the Rings and Star Wars have very different plot structures, though. They tried copy/pasting Star Wars into a fantasy setting with this one.

Regina Calabrese

You know it’s bad when a Wayans brother steals the show, unironically.

Sean McFall

Kull because it's starring Kevin Sorbo .

Medicare for All, Meathooks for McConnell

@regina Snails is my favorite character, both because he's the voice of reason through most of it, and a literal representation of my methods of playing D&D as a thief.

Regina Calabrese

There’s always Kull the Conqueror if you want some bad K-Sorbs before he went full Christian.

Regina Calabrese

Even funnier since Disney+ has started production on the sequel series...

Wookiestick

I have two: Knights of Badassdom. (Peter Dinklage, self-aware, about LARPING) Hawk the Slayer. (80s, scene chewing at its finest)

Stephen Price

Beastmaster, great, terrible 80's fantasy slock with Tanya Roberts and Rip Torn.

Justin Campbell

This one's tough. I agree with Regina that K-Sorbs is wonderful fodder for any episode. But I also think the Dolph Lundgren He-Man was spectacularly bad on so many levels.

Jennifer Eckert

I don’t know if it counts as “fantasy” and I know a lot of people love it, but I’m nominating Dune. I couldn’t make it through the whole movie. Not even Sting and Patrick Stewart could save that god awful mess. I hated it so much.

Harold Windchester

Yes it Is aweful but badass at the time. It was one of the movies that shaped how I view women in main roles that they can be ass kickers too. This and aliens were my favorite female led movies growing up. Plus Arnold was relegated to a supporting actor in this movie.

Harold Windchester

Loved this movie as a kid, but it is a mess. K-sorbs!!!!

Erich Sheogorath

It is one of my favorites. Also Conan the Destroyer. Grace Jones kicked some seriouse ass.

Thomas Muir

In the name of the King: a Dungeon Siege tale. Amazing cast. Pishy movie.

TBoneSF

That one was such a perfect storm of failure because you could tell they thought it was going to be huge. It supposedly had the biggest budget of any movie up until that point AND they decided to release it shortly after Return of the Jedi (because they figured all those kids would be totally tired of the Star Wars "finale" by then and flock to see their movie instead of RotJ for a fourth or fifth time). Plus you have early appearances for Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane. You have some real fodder for an epic GAM.

Gerald Lott

Totally. With that cast...and all the classic 80's cheese...it is a craptastic fantasy.

Danica

Warcraft. They spent so much money on that hot mess. Or Snow White & the Huntsman. Kristen Stewart plays a block of wood pretending to be human.

That Julia Person

I love any iteration of Tim Curry, and when you make him the villain, it's impossible for the movie to be all bad. Mind you, Legend does its level best, but it's too lovable to be Godawful.

TBoneSF

There's the original Dungeons & Dragons theatrical movie with Marlon Wayan and that guy who played Jimmy Oleson on Lois & Clark and Academy Award Winner Jeremy Irons chewing as much scenery as he could. They also lured (probably using Jeremy Irons) Thora Birch hot off her breakout in American Beauty. I saw this one in theaters SOLELY because New LIne tacked the first trailer for Lord of the Rings onto this movie. Remember when you had to go to movies to see new trailers?

Andrew Barton

Masters of the Universe gets my vote. I love the back story dive that Noah did for Street Fighter and this one is a train wreck too. Plus I have an ulcer where my love for this movie should be.

That Julia Person

That was going to be my suggestion. Take a bad book and make a worse movie? Ripe for GAM pickings! Also, if I suffered through that piece of shit flick, I don't see why the guys should be spared.

Jlynn

Has anyone suggested Time Bandits?

BosnickFangirl

And this could almost count as a regular episode since it deals with the Satanic Panic.

Matty B

Since Krull has already been mentioned Ladyhawke

Michael Rops

The worst D&D movie of all time. DRAGONSLAYER! from 1981. It even has people converting to Christianity at the end! It's on Amazon Prime for free.

Stakes so low, they're ground beef

What's great about that one is, in order to have context, Noah would be forced to sit through at least one or two of the main series of movies, so he'd already be in a shit mood going into the record!

Jezebel's Human

Jupiter Ascending. It was the Wachowski Sisters attempt at a space opera, but without any rhyme or reason, a lead played by Mila Kunis who just looks and sounds thoroughly lost for the entirety of the movie, a villain who can only speak in whispers (except when he can scream at an almost glass shattering volume), and a plot thread that is repeated not once, not twice, but three times... in a row. Also, Mila Kunis’ character can kinda-sorta control bees because she’s a secret space princess and - let me stress that is an actual quote from the movie - “Bees are genetically conditioned to recognize royalty.” Also also, when she and her love interest are talking about their feelings and he mentions that they are too different, not the least because he’s an alien that has more in common with dogs than humans, her actual response is, “I love dogs. I’ve always loved dogs.”

Cassidy Sokolis

I wanted to say this! I was a bit worried it's more sci-fi than fantasy, but it is SO amazing. The villain is so fucking funny, I was losing my mind throughout every one of his scenes.

ann sokolovskaya

Agreed... what a choice! If only... (and even if the show doesn't do it this time, hopefully at some point they will)

ann sokolovskaya

Something called Sidekicks (Hubby mentioned...But don't know if it's this genre)

ann sokolovskaya

And if ever possible Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Kellie Linda

The Dark Crystal. I will fight anyone about this.

Alexander Thomas

Another vote for Masters of the Universe. It answers the question no one asked, what if Aughra from the Dark Crystal was a Jewish stereotype! Also I'd like to add King Arthur (the 2004 Kiera Knightly one.)

Jessica P

The He-Man movie. Nuff said.

Chris

Any one of the four Deathstalker movies would be great for this. The movies get progressively more ridiculous.

Jlynn

I know it's more sci fi than fantasy, but y'all should seriously consider Ice Pirates. Anjelica Huston, Ron Perlman, John Carradine and it's on Amazon Prime right now.

That Julia Person

I definitely think this is more Scifi than fantasy, but I would LOVE to hear the guys take on this silly mess!

Andrew H

I'd like to recommend Loqueesha. It's not very well known, but it came out last year. A struggling radio host decides to pretend to be a black woman for a new show, and it's all about the struggles that white men go through. Yeah, that bad. There really is a moment where a black woman admits that he is better at being black. It's worth mentioning that the guy that does the radio version of blackface also wrote and directed it.

David Brooklyn

One of my favourite great bad movies is the 80's Flash Gordon. Crazy costumes, nonsensical locations and situations, and truly insane shifts in tone. The only characters not chewing the scenery are the protagonists, who are playing everything totally straight. It's amazing

Andrew H

That's a good movie, though.

Scot Boeringer

I thought I was having a stroke when I watched that movie.

Andrew H

It's been a while since I've seen it, but I don't remember it being bad at all. Weird for sure, but nothing to warrant an episode on GAM.

Liz Rosenberg

These all sound perfectly awful. I'm happy with any of them-- we could add in, The Weird Democratic Race to the White House but I think we've seen enough of that one.

Margaret H Winnike

Yes! I unironically love how much of a trash heap Jupiter Ascending is. 😂

Samuel Shearer

In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Seige Tale

Larry

The Sword and the Sorcerer. How can you not love a movie where the hero has a triple bladed rocket propelled sword?

Andrew S

Definitely has to be the newest Dolittle. It has a sword and a dragon.

Daniel the-vegetarian-blacksmith Sullivan

Not only does it star Ally McBeal's Peter MacNicol, it has one of the worst blacksmithing scenes in any movie. I had to pause the movie for my daughter to rant about how bad it was!

Jesta

Hawk the Slayer

Kurt Montandon

How has no one mentioned "Ladyhawke" yet? That, or the '70s Sinbad movies.

Matty B

And y'all could do it on the regular show, it's got a creepy Bishop that can cast witchy curses.

Aimée

I'll add my vote for the Dungeon and Dragons movie and add Double Dragon

Jason

Game of Thrones Season 8!!! Or an episode or two. I would love to hear the story breakdown and opinions. Very dragon and sword heavy.

Andrew S

How dare you suggest Ladyhawke was a "bad" movie! :-P

Andrew S

Nooo! Not Willow!

Andrew S

Maybe some of the new Netflix episodes...

Mad Crow

1994's Beanstalk

Medikon 7

Tricky because some of the 'worst' fantasy films are completely core to my childhood and are therefore the 'best' at the same time. The Sword and the Sorcerer (mentioned above and upvoted) has to take top billing. I'd take a view on Masters of the Universe also.

Medikon 7

PS. I reflexively wanted to say Krull, except that it is officially the best film of all time and I still hold out hope that one day I'll get a Glaive of my very own. You'd have to spend the whole episode being nice about it.

Erik

Damn, I loved Krull. I have the 3 issue comic somewhere. The deconstruction by GAM would be amusing.

Brandy McGuffey

The Swarm!! An all-star cast of Katherine Ross, Henry Fonda, Richard Widmark, Fred MacMurray, and Slim Pickens are led by Michael Caine as he battles a swarm of African Bees (frequently called Africans by Richard Chamberlain as in “those damn Africans are taking over Houston!”). Set in Texas, the bees attack a military base northwest of Houston, where for some unknown reason the world’s foremost expert on killer African bees (Caine) just happens to be hanging around and comes to the rescue. Whether the late 70’s images of gigantic bees, shots of bee POV a la The Fly, or the fact that writer and director Arthur Herzog and Irwin Allen firmly believe Houston is surrounded by mountains that rival the Rockies and is home to only 7 refineries, a nuclear power plant, and so few people it can be evacuated in a matter of hours, this movie is ripe for the picking! Allen lost so much money he actually walked out of an interview because the host asked him about it. It’s the best!

Erik

Dragonheart or Dragonslayer would be entertaining. Heck, there are assuredly terrible direct-to-DVD sequels and prequals to Dragonheart. (If you really want to ruin my childhood, I don't know how well Legend or Labyrinth hold up to adult scrutiny.)

Steve Chaput

Jack the Giant Killer (1962), which I remember seeing and enjoying as a kid. I had loved Kerwin Mathews as Sinbad, in the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad and thought he was the perfect hero in this sort of thing.

Elvis Manson

Zardoz (1974) Sean Connery as a super-intellect in a loincloth infiltrating a camp of immortal Alzheimer's patients with a death-wish.

Michael Cox

How about Never Ending Story? I still cannot get that song out of my head.

Aimée

The craft

Patrick Cox

Labyrinth, Legend or Krull, even if do love all of them there is plenty to make fun of.

Jonathan Edwards

Come on guys, it HAS to be MAZES AND MONSTERS!! It is a God Awful movie, given it's Law Enforcement Guide to Cults feel. It's a bad movie, for it's demonazation of harmless fun. And it's Tom Hanks' first leading role!!! Truly horrible!

Patrick Cox

Or instead of the of bonus episode just do the Lion, the Witch and the wardrobe on the regular feed and we can all listen to Noah lose his fucking mind.

Wesley Aaron

Dungeons and Dragons, Eragon, or Immortals all come to mind as the worst.

Ben Wilcox

I second the vote for the amazingly bad official D&D movie

Sarvis

Wait, isn't every movie you review on GAM already a terrible fantasy movie?

Suzanne August

Come on, people! Clash of the Titans (1981). Simply, wonderfully terrible!

Jordan Schmit

The 2011 Danny Mcbride vehicle, YOUR HIGHNESS. Could have ended a few talented careers, but the whole world seem to agree to just never speak of it again and move on....

Leslie Marchant

Is there any other adaption worth mentioning?!? Dolph AND Courtney Cox!

Leslie Marchant

"Flesh and Blood", starring the late, great Rutger Hauer. Ooh! "Excalibur" from 1981! Wait! "Knightriders"! Starring a young Ed Harris. The premise is medieval knights...but on MOTORCYCLES!!!

Leslie Marchant

My brain is too, too full of bad movies. I love bad movies.

Sarah M.

In the Name of the King... Jason Statham, Ron Pearlman and Ray Liotta... I'm not sure what would be a better bad fantasy movie!

Revan

Dragon heart with Dennis quaid and Sean Connery

I know the stripper's real name.

To be clear, my suggestions are based on the fact those films' outcomes are more fantastical than "there be dragons".

Zeronian Entity

Mazes and Monsters starring tom hanks in his first movie and is anti-d&d propaganda. BRUCIE BONUS you can also do Dark Dungeons made in 2014 on the main channel.

Chase Chumbley

Go Viking! Go against the grain in every way you can. Fight the gods and the society that cater to an old and broken system. Live free and die hard so to speak. You know what you normally do.

Someday Sera

there's always Uwe Boll's (maker of about a dozen TERRIBLE video game movies in the mid 2000's) fantasy movie, "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. Its one of his better films, sitting at an impressive 15/100 on metacritic.

Sean Harmon

There is always the horribly produced 80s movies like “Hawk the Slayer” :)

Jason

Reign of Fire. Dragons waking up in modern times.

Trev

Dungeonmaster! It's nearly as bad as Krull, but probably more in line with the D&D thing. The highlight of the movie is W.A.S.P. (80's) metal band) makes an appearance. That is seriously the highlight.

Nicolette

Just because I love it so much, The Crow

Matthew Steuer

Willow!!!!!!!!!!!! It has beasts, witches, and magic. GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!!

Rocktoberfest

Mythic is basically D&D and actually has David AR White in it, but (un)fortunately it's actually a good movie.

Corey Ryan

Skullduggery. It's "the Sobbing Stone" but for anti-dungeons and dragons movies.

Chicago.AIR

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale , directed by Uwe Boll

Jason

I know it’s probably too late but hope it’s not, Van Helsing with Hugh Jackman. Such a ripe and juicy fruit and I’ve only seen 5 minutes of it so far.

IngloriousBaxter

I'm a little late to the thread, but I would love a Dragon Heart episode. I used to watch that all the time as a kid

Tyler Stanley

Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Grindelwald is a colossal piece of crap.