Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

December Patron Bonus Suggestion Thread (Patreon)

Published:
2021-12-03 18:24:33
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

ITS CHRISTMAS TACULAR TIME. HIT US WITH YOUR WORST CHRISTMAS FLIX. THE GOOD. THE BAD. THE UGLY

Comments

Baron Atomy

Would love to see Gremlins, even though I adore it.

Alex Arnett

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

GenmuLVLX

Christmas with the kranks. The film with the 'uplifting' message that if you don't celebrate Christmas, than something is seriously wrong with you.

Bry

Any/all of those hundred hallmark christmas flicks they make every year. Half of them end with an old stranger being God/jesus and/or santa.

Sai Like Sigh

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964) plleeeaaase

Michael Colon

Santa Claus the Movie (1985) So bad it's got some entries for Christian Movie Bingo Card, you could do it for the main show. Especially their representation of homelessness. https://youtu.be/7LKHIzWQfMI

David Wallace

Deck the Halls (2006) Santa Claus vs The Martians (64?) Santa Claus vs The Devil (59?)

Theresa Mooney

Okay, but, like all the stupid Christmas rom-coms on Netflix like the "A Christmas Prince" series or "The Princess Switch" series. They're so... banal? Mostly I just want to subject Noah to them.

Mr Pudifoot

Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas never got the full GAM treatment! I would love for that to be the bonus episode. (If Demolition Man can be on the normal feed, I don’t see why Saving Christmas can’t be on the bonus feed)

Kurt Montandon

You guys haven't done a Sorbo in a while - how about "The Christmas Suit"? I only know it exists from a quick Google search, but it can't be good.

Mobius Rex

The Christmas Shoes movie.

Proud mom of fur babies

I'd love to see jingle all the way, it's an Arnold movie that is pure 90s and encapsulates Christmas capitalism at its 'finest'

Trish Roper

Christmas with the Kranks. It's the story of a guy who doesn't want to celebrate Christmas, and the entire neighborhood bullying him until he learns he was the bad guy all along.

Jen Moore

There’s a new limited series on Netflix - a Danish production called Elves that’s more than a little dark. It’s only six episodes, each about 23 minutes long, so that’s the equivalent of one bad movie, right?!

The Younglings Had It Coming

While I will always argue it's not actually *bad* The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus (2000) is delightfuly insane.

Mike Poulin

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Tanner Barker

Bill O (actual goblin) Reily is in An American Carol.

Dexter

Nightmare before Christmas

Tanner Barker

This movie is all about rich people taking care of rich people. Big swing and a miss, especially since the book was written by John Grisham who normally has great, liberal, messages in his writing.

TGraham

Fatman. Mel Gibson is called Santa and had to partner with the military to save his business. I don't think much else needs to be said.

Haley Wilson

Anna and the Apocalypse (good)

Tanner Barker

reading back through the comments . . . Please, please, please do An American Carol

Apocalypse Cowboy

Wanna further add votes for American Carol, Deck the Halls, and Christmas with the Kranks. Also want to add a suggestion for the animated abomination, Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa

Patrick Haughton

The Ref Love Actually Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever Ernest Saves Christmas A Christmas Story 2 Jingle All The Way 2 (with Larry The Cable Guy) Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny It’s A Wonderful Life (not a bad movie at all but might be worth making fun of)

I_know_you_dont_really_care

Didn't you guys do a XMas movie with Hulk Hogan last year? You could double-down on the wrestler theme and do Santa’s Slay Or you could go full political and do Last Ounce of Courage, however I'm guessing the completely outrageous and overblown tropes in this movie, are now just Fox news this afternoon.

Eric Johnson

One more vote for American Carol.

Unlearning Ethics.

Santa's slay is a good bad xmas movie. More on the good side, but I could see stuff to make fun of.

Mark H

How can you not do Love Actually? Maybe invite a vag-owning guest to reflect on its portrayal of women?

Jabbles

It's actually not that awful but I think it is a still a contender, The Santa Clause.

Brendan Horn

Polar Express. The moral of the story is "Shut up kid. Stop asking questions and just accept whatever bullshit we feed you. Just BELEIVE."

GeekOfDoom

They already did that one. Bonus episode 42. Great episode.

Mark H

They already did last ounce a few years ago! It was hilarious.

Dreamcrusher

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, 2000

Nolan B.

Jingle All the Way 2, starring the preposterous bigot and fake southern accented Larry the Cable Guy in a sequel to a movie nobody asked for. It can’t get much worse when you have a terrible sequel to a terrible movie starring a fake redneck. If you think about it, it was one hell of a warning sign in America that this got distributed by 20th Century Fox in 2014.

Mark H

I support anything that can’t make it to the regular feed!

Mark H

Yes, but why waste the one monthly bonus episode on something that could easily go in the regular feed?

Spinoza's Godzilla

I vote Love, Actually. That film deserves way more malice than it gets.

Mark H

Ooh, I really want to see that! So it’s actually good, right?

William Yeske

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (2000) From the author that gave us The Wizard of Oz, as adapted by the people who gave us the Bratz TV show. It's got everything. Invisible demons. Immortal fae lords. Annoying children. You can't not do it. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0267675/

Lincoln Eddy

Rare Exports is good, I think, but you guys should get to do good stuff once in a while. 8 Crazy Nights might be fun to see you suffer through. And wasn't there a Grumpy Cat Christmas movie a few years ago?

Proud mom of fur babies

GeekOfDoom: I completely forgot about that, must have to relisten to it.

Kidda Sweet

And it has the whole uncanny valley issue! Great pick!

Kidda Sweet

It is problematic. And I enjoy it anyway. :)

Austin Howell

Christmas with the Kranks. It's a bunch of Christmas Nazis forcing people to celebrate. God forbid any Jews move into the neighborhood...

Sara

Deck The Halls

Travis Collins

Okay, so I’m also going to nominate “The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus”, but I’m going to specifically nominate the 1985 Rankin-Bass version of the story. So yes, it definitely has all sorts of GAM-worthy stuff: eldritch gods, invisible demons, a Lord of the Rings-style battle in the middle for no real reason, Santa as an immortal quasi-deity who literally invented toys. BUT all of that is portrayed with the same stop motion animation as “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town!”

Amanda

OMD! I had completely forgotten this movie and how fucking insane it is

Amanda Horne

I think it was just cheap to buy the rights and play it on television constantly through the holiday season. Eventually a combination of boomer nostalgia and Stockholm Syndrome made us collectively think it must be a classic.

IceBrid10

Ah yes, only notable for being total CGI in a way that makes you ask why 80% of it is not fantastical animation sequences or cartoon characters dripping with visual character. If you wanted it to be semi realistic, use ACTUAL humans and sets. If you want to lean into the childhood dreams side, then break with reality more then this non committal middle ground. It ain't a good middle ground, especially as tech marches on.

IceBrid10

Done a few years ago I think.

Mobius Rex

Ooh! Evening plans cemented.

Morten Worsøe Schoubye

A Christmas Carol. Any version, but especially the animated version starring Jim Carrey.

Alexander Thomas

Holiday in Handcuffs. Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez.

Radical Buddhist

Wasn't there a recent Santa with a gun movie?

You can just think of me as That One Guy

I have such fond, fond memories of this. I remember it being just the right kind of ridiculous. Then again, Richard Curtis, so almost bound to be horrific in hindsight.

You can just think of me as That One Guy

"I got out of Beirut, I think I can get out of New Jersey." "Others have tried and failed!" Absolute gem. Yes it's terrible, it's still brilliant. Will absolutely fight anyone on this, and Assassin Geena Davis will have my back.

You can just think of me as That One Guy

Love Actually is one of the worst abominations of British Cinema. And I had to watch the movie of "Love Thy Neighbour", so I KNOW WHEREOF I SPEAK.

Ilan Woll

Diehard 2 or one of the later Home Alones

john Morrow

I have to sign on with the others. An American Carol. Kelsey Grammer as George Washington getting us how we deserved 9/11 is pretty great.

Mark H

Weirdly my wife and I always liked it. I suspect it holds up as well as Boondocks Saints

Mark H

It’s weird that they’ve not done any Maxes movies yet.

The Popcorn Junkie

Home Sweet Home Alone, the latest in the unnecessary franchise over on Disney+. Genuinely one of the worst things I've watched this year. There's always Santas Slay with Goldberg. That movie's insane.

Mama Llaga

"Santa Claus: The Movie" (1985) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089961/ From the husband & wife writing duo who brought us the first three Superman movies, comes the bafflingly eerie story of an unscrupulous toy manufacturer (John Lithgow) who attempts to privatize Christmas. With the help of the disaffected elf, Patch (Dudley Moore), the holiday must be snatched from the jaws of crass commercialism by Santa himself (played by David Huddleston, the eponymous Big Lubowski). Here's the trailer: https://youtu.be/7LKHIzWQfMI

Zeronian Entity

Madea Christmas. For gam. Nester the long eared Christmas donkey.

Rawrbecca

Or any Hallmark movie that starts... "A Christmas...."

yeoldejoye

Isn’t that the one that has the song with the line, “If you sit on my lap today, a kiss a toy is the price you’ll pay”? Fuck yeah that one needs the gam treatment.

WolfWizard

"Miss Velma's Christmas in America". It's got animals, songs, and cultural appropriation. It's nuts! AFAIK, this is the highest quality video of it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQWUEJh-SVk I am fuckin' evil for sending this to you...

Erin Routh

Love Actually. I am forced to watch it every year by my mother. Please roast it. I want to be able to think of your review when I inevitably have to watch it again this month.

Khristle

Two votes for holiday in handcuffs. She kidnaps a guy and forces him to pretend to be her fiance

Adam Parkin

Silent Night, Deadly Night for the "punish" catchphrase XD

LeeDassin

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians… obviously

LeeDassin

For the worst Christmas movies?

Michael Colon

Looks like Martians. Not my pick, but I stand for democracy. I basically just haven't seen the movie. Looks horrible though, so perfect for this podcast!

Nolan B.

I think this would make for a great review too.

Thomas J McMullan

I concur from the polar bear, the robot, Pia Zadora and the theme song it has every for the GAM Crew. Hurrah for Santa Claus.

Shut up Wesley!

I want to hear Eli's review of Adam Sandler's animated movie "Eight Crazy Nights"

Kespos

It looked horrid. Just scrolling past it on the app murdered my inner child

Kespos

As sweet summer child of ‘93, I must nominate Nickelodeon’s “Snow Day” (2000). https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0184907/ This absolute trash is lodged permanently in my heart and I need it to be “fixed” by the team.

Chris W

EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS. Roast that shit it's dreadful. Sandler deserves, nay, needs it

Hypatia

I think you could pick almost anything. Your Patreon episode on "Miracle on 34th Street" was a revelation to me in just how I was not tuned into the sexism in that movie's entire plot, and the dangerous message it sends regarding rationalism vs. tradition/myth. I can't wait to see what you choose! It will be the highlight of my holiday.

Hot Dickson Rice

Christmas Story. It is not at all the Christmas masterpiece you all remember it being.

Asexual Asshole

I lack the bravery needed to watch the "GrumpyCat Christmas" movie. Additionally, any movie with the Muppets is best/worst movie. Also, (Queen Latifah) "Last Holiday", "You Better Watch Out", and "Anna and the Apocalypse". If you're really grasping at straws, research any comedian to see if they've starred in any holiday movie. Finally, (Christopher Lee) "Nutcracker Fantasy".

Asexual Asshole

Oh! I remember watching this! Nice recommendation

Niamh Coghlan

The Star Wars Holiday Special. Carrie Fisher was coked out of her mind. Mark Hamill was on painkillers. It has wookiees getting off to lounge singer porn and Beatrice Arthur pouring drinks directly into some guy's skull. It's utter madness.

Brady OBrien

They did that one a few years ago

Niamh Coghlan

Grand so. :) Might have been before my time. I'll have to look through the archives for it. Thanks Brady!

DaMonaLeisa

The one with Arnold Jingle all the way Terrible 🙄

Nolan B.

They already did that one a few years ago!

Ky

Surely it has to be the 1964 classic, 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'! And if after reading that title you still aren't sold - we're very, very different people. By the Power of Greyskull, there is only one other Christmas movie that is list-erally ranked worse (Heathleton? Punny? Yeah, you get it) which is Kirk Camerons 'Saving Christmas'. 🙋‍♂️🎤