Chapter 17 | Page 1: A Superhero, a Smartphone, and One Very Unfortunate Phrase (Patreon)

Hailey wants a chance to shine — but Rose has other priorities.

Captain Heroic arrives at Ralph’s Diner with Justice Ltd’s new Director of Public Engagement, Yazmine Velour, who’s recording his visit. Hailey is desperate to take their table, hoping for a little secondhand fame, but Rose reminds her that superheroes don’t override seating assignments.

Behind the scenes

This might be one of my favorite comics of all time — and you'll never guess why.

[Some spoilerish material ahead.]

I was having some serious problems writing the bottom half of this page — where Captain Heroic walks into the diner and Hailey figures out a way to get into his livestream. It had to deliver a couple of plot points — Captain Heroic's new social-media presence at Yazmine Velour's behest and Hailey's reveal as a not-so-nice person. And it had to deliver a punchline.

I spun my wheels on it for several days. One day, I was working from home because our furnace was acting up. My son, a recent graduate from Temple University, came home and asked me what I was working on. Both of my sons are very funny — and quite good writers. So I explained what I was trying to do.

My son offered to help, so I explained everything this seven-panel sequence needed to accomplish — including a punchline in the final panel.

And then we wrestled with it. For the next hour and a half.

And my son — perhaps for the first time — realized how challenging it is to do what his old man does.

Many of their joke pitches were good. For example, they pitched a scene where Hailey waits on Cap. When Cap asks about his regular waitress, she says Rose is "all tied up." Then, a crash-cut to Rose, tied up in the storage room.

It's not bad. It's a really solid delivery. But, like I told them, my readers have seen that gag dozens of times.

So we wrestled, and wrestled, and wrestled some more. The "urologist" line was the result of us one-upping each other until we had arrived at the funniest take. And the final scene took a couple of dozen iterations until we found its best version together.

We came up with a really good scene that delivered the necessary plot points and two solid punchlines along the way. My son walked away proud.

And exhausted.

Transcript 

Panel 1Exterior of the diner. A word balloon from inside calls, “Hailey… The man at table five is asking for his check.”Panel 2Inside the diner kitchen. Rose, an older waitress with gray hair in a bun and wearing a white uniform and apron, walks toward Hailey. Hailey, a younger waitress with long red hair and a white apron, is excitedly holding up her phone. She says she posted a video of her latte-art leaf and it’s getting views.Panel 3Rose asks if this is the famous foam. Hailey proudly says it is, holding a cup toward her.Panel 4Silent panel. Rose looks down at the cup, clearly evaluating it, while Hailey stands beside her looking proud.Panel 5Rose gently asks Hailey if she’s heard of Georgia O’Keeffe. Hailey, confused and frustrated, says people keep asking her that.Panel 6Rose tells her it’s not a latte leaf… it’s a lady leaf. Hailey reacts with sudden alarm.Panel 7Hailey panics and tells Rose she has to give the guy at table five his check. Rose wonders if he saw the video.Panel 8Hailey covers her face in embarrassment and admits she made him a special cappuccino for Taco Tuesday.

Panel 9Rose: “I have to go. One of my regulars just walked in…”Hailey: “Looks like he’s livestreaming!”Rose: “That’s between him and his urologist.”

Panel 10Hailey: “Let me wait on him today! Just this once!”Rose: “Sorry, dear, he’s already in my section.”

Panel 11Hailey: “No problem. But since they’re recording, you’ll wanna cover up that pimple first.”

Panel 12Hailey: “I’ve got emergency concealer in the storage closet.”Hailey (continuing): “Look for an old bag.”

Panel 13Rose (inside closet): “There’s no old bag in—”Rose: “Oh. I get it.”