Chapter 17, Page 23: Carbonated Nuru Protocol (Patreon)

Dr. Muskiday needs to get into the zone — and HoloClone Miss Match knows exactly what that means.

Within moments, she has assembled everything required for the carbonated nuru protocol: Coca-Cola, Mentos, towels, protective goggles and, presumably, a very comprehensive cleanup plan. She has even upgraded from Diet Coke after determining that it failed to provide sufficient thrust.

But before the confection-assisted massage can begin, Muskiday stops her with a question he should probably have asked a long time ago: Does she actually want to do this?

Her answer is enthusiastic, immediate—and not remotely reassuring. HoloClone Miss Match was programmed to enjoy fulfilling his desires. Now Muskiday is beginning to understand that her devotion may not be the same thing as love.

In this scene, Dr. Muskiday starts to grapple with the ramifications of programming a hologram to love him and do his every bidding. She can never truly love him because she can never not love him.

Panel 1:

HoloClone Miss Match runs away from the scene, carrying Dr. Muskiday

HoloClone Miss Match: Hurry! We don’t have much time!

Panel 2:

Entering the lab

HoloClone Miss Match: You need to find a way to neutralize the macronanos!

Panel 3:

Dr. Muskiday: Hey, um… that stuff you said about loving me… did you MEAN that?

Panel 4:

HoloClone Miss Match: Of COURSE I did! couldn’t feel any other way about you. Did I do something wrong?

Panel 5:

Dr. Musiday: No… but I’m starting to think -I- did.

Panel 6: Dr. Muskiday sits at his workstation, staring at streams of macronano data. HoloClone Miss Match stands nearby.

Dr. Muskiday: I need to get into the zone.

HoloClone Miss Match: Say no more.

Panel 7: She wheels in an elaborate cart loaded with Coca-Cola bottles, Mentos, towels, goggles, and a mop.

HoloClone Miss Match: Shall I initiate the carbonated nuru protocol?

Dr. Muskiday: You remembered the goggles.

Panel 8: She begins preparing herself or the massage table, cheerfully businesslike.

HoloClone Miss Match: Regular Coke this time. Diet didn’t provide enough thrust.

Dr. Muskiday: Actually… stop.

Panel 9: She freezes, confused.

HoloClone Miss Match: Is something wrong? I can increase the Mentos.

Dr. Muskiday: It’s not the Mentos.

Panel 10: Muskiday looks at her uneasily.

Dr. Muskiday: Do you actually want to do this?

Panel 11: HoloClone Miss Match smiles brightly.

HoloClone Miss Match: Of course! This is one of your top-ten confection-assisted massage protocols!

Panel 12:

Dr. Muskiday: And suddenly, the Mentos are the least unsettling part of this.