153. Uncomfortable Truths (Patreon)

Things weren’t unfolding as smoothly as Lukas had hoped on the Jotun front. Morph’s reports over a month revealed that there were still a handful of warchiefs who wanted to go to war. Either the conflict with the Elder Wyrmkin had riled them up, or they felt left out for missing the initial conflict. It seemed many were also sick of proving their mettle against local mega fauna and occasional threats that came through rifts. As a tribal warrior culture, they craved bloodshed and conflict, many believing that Ymir would reward them for honorable deaths on the battlefields.

Fortunately, the chieftain and the majority were against it. They wished for peace with the kingdom and the Gray, since humankind wished to stay clear of the harsh conditions of the mountains. Instead, the Schwarzbergs hoped the Jotun would procure rare materials from the peaks and glacial caves for them. The chieftain was convinced that the Elder Wyrmkin were the greater threat and wished to rout them all from the frozen lands where Ymir’s divine traces felt most concentrated. He feared the revival of dragons would taint the land, removing his people’s connections to their lost home.

As instructed, Morph was actively working to sabotage the warrior factions. He and Astrid had ensured that new warchiefs who replaced the fallen didn’t have unnecessary hatred toward humankind or the kingdom, ensuring that inappropriate candidates fell to accidents or during skirmishes with the Elder Wyrmkin. 

Meanwhile, his primary focus remained on organizing an escape plan for Astrid and her tribe, while also using their knowledge of the mountains and stealthy ways to slowly transport the Dracosteel node to the Grey. The task was proving more challenging than expected since its energy appeared to attract Elder Wyrrmkin forces still hiding in the mountains and also creatures with draconic heritage. The Jotun seemed to lack the necessary senses to detect it, explaining how the potent source had lasted as long in the mountains, reasonably close to their homes, and escaped notice.

Lukas was sure there was a lot Morph wasn’t telling him. He felt tempted to send clones to help retrieve the living node. It would give him the opportunity to dispel and resummon Morph, allowing Merlin to pore over and sort his memories. However, things were progressing smoothly, and he didn’t wish for an interruption to ruin things. The nature of Morph’s relationship with Astrid was obvious, and Lukas believed she had the potential of becoming a valuable asset. However, he didn’t yet know how he felt about one of his specialized clones ending up in a serious relationship. The lack of a valuable toy like a Super Clone also bothered him. A Merlin Prime was bound to accelerate the Shadowsteel Fortress’s construction.

Heart Chamber: 36% | +7%

Forge: -10%

Spell Garden: -20%

Now that the clones had returned, Lukas had assigned more Spellweavers to the effort. Merlin and two others continued on the construction process, focusing on assembling the third room and building structures of Shadowsteel and Quicksilver. The spellforms carved into them would act as the Confluence to act much like a wizard’s spellbook. Theoretically, the clones without Spellweaver would have little trouble using them due to reduced stress and energy costs. Without Spellweaver, they'd struggle to modify them for intent casting, but Lukas hoped for a significant expansion to their capabilities. He hoped future improvements to the room would allow them to draw magic directly from the Heartroom. For the time being, it was out of the question. The two extra clones provided for construction efforts exclusively focused on gathering magic and supplying it to the others, ensuring the fortress's energy production could keep up with the expenditure.

Only Eins and Oberon had the freedom to operate as they wished. The first was already in the Forge, working on new projects. Lukas has sent the other on a scouting mission in Tortuga, investigating the infrastructure, opportunities for newcomers, and issues. The Anglar Plains felt like a better change of pace from the Gray, but he didn't want biases to get in the way of progress. If Tortuga proved a better destination with greater opportunities and also provided a decent balance of peace  and fun, he'd pick it. Lukas considered it unlikely. He was ready to send a clone to the Anglar Plains again to scout more locations for them to settle. Thanks to the Shadowsteel Fortress, he didn't need anything large. A physical base to use as a home for two and also a storefront would suffice. If there was a tower or the room to build one, he'd happily go for it. 

On the home front, Penelope and Mira were subject to another inquisition. Their stories lined up with Lukas’s. Much to his relief, Penelope didn't encourage a war against the Jotun. Instead, she pushed for the city and kingdom to assemble a force against the Elder Wyrmkin. The Schwarzberg lands expanded beyond the frozen wastelands across several places of power, which contained more than draconic remnants and had likely attracted the scaled folk. She hasn't discovered the Dracosteel node. Her request for an investigation into the remnants of the tent city was rejected. The city refused to trespass into Jotun lands. It didn't surprise Lukas that she and the Conclave wished for access to control of whatever interested the Elder Wyrmkin. 

The talk he had with Penelope was more for Mira’s sake. Given the Sorcerer’s age, he doubted she'd change her ways or allegiance unless something truly jarring happened. She had cut off most of her strong emotional ties, and after a life of hardship and loss, she had no interest in forming new ones. Without close bonds or the desire for them, he couldn't see her wanting to change. Even though Mira didn't admit it, Lukas felt that she knew as much, but being optimistic, she wanted to believe in Penelope. He appreciated the side of her and hoped whatever awaited them in the future wouldn't destroy it. Mira balanced his neurotic side. He felt less paranoid around her. She also helped him see the brighter side of life.

“I noticed you've completely ignored the topic of Confluence abilities,” Mira said one evening as the pair sat on opposite ends of the giant desk in Lukas's office. She continued to be a better spell scribe than he. He and Merlin excelled at their niches, but when it came to general ability and creativity, they struggled to match Mira. “I can't figure out which it is. You don't want to discuss Penelope's idea or have made more progress than you're letting on. It's perfectly fine if it's the first—”

“I do like the idea of the trade,” Lukas said, cutting her off. “And it's as you've guessed. I have completed my Confluence.”

“Is that why there are no clones around?”

Lukas nodded. “I don't want you to think that I'm not in this relationship the same way you are or feel less about you. Your Silver Dragonfire could help immensely with the next stage of the structure.”

“Then what is it?”

“A Confluence is a permanent thing.”

“And you don't think we are?” Mira’s face remained expressionless, but she failed to keep the hurt out of her eyes. 

“I wish you wouldn't put it that way.” Lukas sighed. He hated that he was responsible for how she felt. A month of rehearsing the topic in his head hadn't helped. There was no nice way of approaching the subject. “I've seen too much to know nothing is permanent or indestructible. As much as I care about you—” Lukas hesitated for a moment, looking for the right words. He mustered his courage and used the word he'd avoided for quite a while. “As much as I love you, Mira, I don't know if it's smart to entangle ourselves so permanently. If things between us were to fall apart and it was too painful to have a part of you within me, I can make changes. My Confluence ability is modular. I can tear sections down and rebuild them.”

“But if I create a summon, conjuration or great spell using your magic, it will become a permanent part of me.” Mira sighed. “There will be no going back.”

“Exactly. You get the issue, right?”

“No. I'm in this without a doubt, unlike you.”

“Doubt is the wrong term. I have zero doubts about you. Please don't take this as me being condescending because of my age or life experiences. But much like Penelope, I have been through and seen a lot. Things can be great forever and then sour so suddenly that we might not see it coming and not have the time to amend or address the source of the issue.”

“We've been together for over a year,” Mira said. “I know in the grand scheme of things that's no time at all, but I think we've reached a point where you can tell me about the past.”

Lukas considered for a moment. The wounds had long scabbed over and were barely visible scars on his psyche. He didn't like thinking about it, but he also hadn't allowed Minerva to erase the memories.

“There was a time not long after my first transmigration. Lady Silverspine had not long recruited me. My cloning abilities weren't potent, and I needed large periods of rest. She couldn't use me as extensively, so I enjoyed longer periods of rest.” Lukas sighed, thinking back to the time. So long had passed that he struggled to remain the face of the woman in question. “I encountered her on a job. She was beautiful but unwell and struggling to survive. Something in the way she smiled got to me, and I wanted to take care of her.

“Her health improved in my care. She had the time and freedom to pursue creative pursuits. She was happy, and that made me happy. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being the one taking care of her. We found a balance. Silverspine’s jobs left me physically and mentally scarred. She took care of me. She became my safe space.”

“It's okay,” Mira said when he stopped, rubbing his arm. “You don't have to tell me if it's too painful.”

“I should've mentioned that when we met, she had an infant,” Lukas continued, after finding the strength to continue. “I wasn't the girl's father by blood but fell into the role. It wasn’t planned but just happened. She called me Baba. My tone deaf singing quietened her crying. I knew every little thing that made her giggle.

“All relationships hit a bump sooner or later. Either you talk things through and make them work, or you go your separate ways. This woman in question didn't talk. Instead, she let things fester inside of her until she hit the breaking point. Then, Mar—she exploded. In hindsight, these issues were there from the beginning, but I just couldn't walk away even when I wanted to. Not to forget, I fell in love with her daughter and couldn't. We hit one such hitch. I tried talking through things. She pretended like everything was okay. Like we were working through things. Then, I went on a job. When I returned, she was gone. We had plans for when I got back. We had communicated using birds—it was before I had clones to spare and telepathic communication with them. She left without a word despite everything and took our daughter with her.”

Mira's hands shot to her mouth. “Did you ever?”

“I looked for years. Even when I stopped loving her, I kept looking because of the little one. For the girl that called me Baba.” Despite the decades that had passed, Lukas struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. “Our relationship only lasted five years. It was nowhere near how long I spent with Minerva. In the grand scheme of things, it's a blink. I did eventually find them, but the little one was older by then. Much older. Her mother had poisoned her against me, and she barely remembered me. In her mind, I was the one who abandoned them.”

“Do you think Silverspine had something to do with it?”

Lukas shook his head. “Silverspine believed she made me work better, smarter, and more efficiently. I believed her. Besides, there was a trail, and I was given time off to pursue it for several months. It went cold eventually. She knew I'd be looking and put obstacles and red herrings in my path.” He sighed. “I'm sure she had reasons beyond our issues. I stopped thinking about them long ago and no longer want to know. Neither of them might still be alive. The point is, things can change unexpectedly and suddenly. It might be you. It might be me. Do you want to make a part of me so irreversible a part of yourself?”

Mira slowly rose from her seat. She marched across the room and stood behind Lukas before wrapping her arms around his neck. “I do. This woman and I aren't the same people. We communicate. We talk things through. But if you don't want to jump into this and think things over, I'm okay with it. We don't have to share everything. Take all the time you need but—” Mira hesitated, pulling away for a moment. She repositioned to be in front of him and make eye contact. “I want your help with my Confluence, regardless of what the future holds. What I have in mind will be impossible without you. Reciprocation isn't necessary or expected.”

“That's acceptable.” Lukas squeezed Mira’s hand. “I'm sorry for not being more open. I didn't know how to broach the topic.”

“Did you manage to repair your relationship with either of them?” Mira asked. “We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to.”

“Things were too far gone. We did spend time together, as in the little one and I, but it wasn't the same.”

“How did you deal with the hurt of being around her mother? Weere things tense?”

Lukas shook his head. “I disassociated. In my head, the woman I loved and the person in front of me weren't the same people. The Maria I knew died when she left with the little one so suddenly and then filled her ears with lies.” Using her name didn't leave as much of a bad taste in his mouth as he expected. “I'd rather move on from this discussion. Tell me about this summon you have in mind.”

“I've been training with the silver fire. It takes a lot of energy, but I've successfully created living constructs. The challenge is making them long-term or permanent. Your storm energy and Quicksilver might make a living, permanent core possible.”

“Funnily, I'm using both to power my fortress. And you want to use the combo to also contain Erasure?”

Mira nodded, fetching drawings and spell scripts from her side of the table. She had used paints to give them life and form. It consisted of a three-tailed silver wolf. Black spheres clung to the tips of their tails.

“I got carried away with the art, but I'd like it to use Erasure as a close-range weapon or give it the means to fire projectiles of black dragonfire. Perhaps we can figure out how to do so together?”

“I think I'd like that,” Lukas said, taking her hand and squeezing.

Mira kneeled next to him, moved close, and delicately kissed his lips. “I love you too, by the way. Just in case you forgot.”