(EARLY ACCESS) [SEASON 4] Cherry Crush Episode 134 (Patreon)

>>Reread the last episode on the official WEBTOON HERE! <<

Hallo everynyan, happy cherry crush (not) Friday!

It's been soooo long since I did this so idk what to yap about, ive had a lot of time to workshop this episode obviously.. 😭😭 there were multiple ways this conversation could've gone, and it couldve gone REALLY badly too but in the end I felt that both of these characters have already hurt a lot, they really need closure, this is the second time that we see all 3 of them in the same room so it was quite hard to distribute the lines like how do i make it so that each of these characters had a chance to speak their perspective, everything surrounding this secret has affected them in some way narratively and they all went through their own character arcs because of it, Cherie and Crush are obviously gonna stay together, but it doesnt mean that writing them leaving Colie behind will hurt less 😭 i really do love writing sappy moments like this though im a sucker for heartfelt goodbyes.. i can't just make both of them have parental figures that died of cancer and NOT make the connections, you know.. I think everyone who's lost a loved one to cancer would know how it feels to watch them get weak and anyone who's ever been independent would know how it feels when others see you as helpless.. and those two perspective can contradict one another but they dont cancel each other, the mistake was always hiding it, Colie's always said it was for protection, but she had ample time to see Crush, she just never wanted to because she wanted to protect his image of her as his big strong mother, even though that image is damaged now since Crush realized his mom isn't perfect, he still doesn't love her any less, her biggest flaw was mistaking control for protection, she felt that she could only love in if she was in control, but because she had to relinquish that control to Chohan, she would rather abandon Crush than let him know she needs him, because of that they never get a chance to be mother and son again, that's just something all three of these characters have to live with, because they dont have time to make up for it anymore, which makes this goodbye scene even sadder to write because I know what could've been for them if Colie hadn't been so avoidant this entire time. Sorry for the character analysis yap again ...

This season is the last one so obviously it's all about retrospective, what did everything amount to? what did this chain of events do to our characters? how have they all changed? after so many years of writing this story, i had to look back at myself too and try to think about what these characters meant to me, and what kind of ending they deserve, obviously things can't all be sunshine and rainbows but i would still like to leave everyone a little comfort even if it hurts.. i guess thats why they call it hurt/comfort huh...😭 I feel really bad for writing things at such a snail pace like theres a voice in my head going omfg just get it over with alreadyyyyy get to the FUN PART where chohan blows everything up but i canttt .. ive spent so much time writing for Colie and Crush that i can't just skip to the next scene without giving them proper closure.. the last time Crush and Colie talked none of them said anything that mattered, so i wanted to make it so that this time everything they say will matter. At first i was going to write Cherie out of this scene so that Crush could have some privacy with his mom but in every draft Crush just gets too unstable without Cherie next to him, in the end i had to include Cherie in it because to me Crush's angst is also Cherie's angst since they're so connected now, their lives are way too intertwined with each other for me to write Cherie out of this episode, and I also felt that Colie owed Cherie an apology as well for putting it all onto him, they had the biggest fight of their life because of her, that doesn't make what Cherie did right, but she did have a hand in damaging their relationship. So I felt like if this is the last time they talk, Colie needs to talk to Cherie as well.. i think it was important that Colie leaves both of them on good terms.

Anywayss holy yapp, cant u tell i rly loved writing this episode.. i really miss doing character analysis on my own ocs its so fucking lame but if im not my own biggest fan then why am i even writing this webtoon right.. 😭😭😭 i really am thankful for all the time youve given to rest, i'll try not to complain about my shoulders too much bc atp its just something i have to live with but if i have to cut down on drawing doodles to do the webtoon then so be it, i can always come back to painting when i finish the comic but i cannot abandon the comic to do paintings, that's just something i had to come to terms with, the webtoon has to take priority because it's what you guys all followed me for, i owe it to everyone to finish it to the best of my abilities.. I hope you all like this episode and as always I apologize if anythings lacking 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️