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CALL ME BY YOUR NAME *COMMENTARY* (FULL LENGTH PATREON EXCLUSIVE) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-07-31 23:32:49
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

We're jet-setting to Crema for an Italian summer vacation in our first time-rewatch of CALL ME BY YOUR NAME and yes, it does hit even harder the second time. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? We examine the age-old question here as we dissect the tumultuous relationship between Elio and Oliver in this deeply moving story of love, lust and loss 🇮🇹💔

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Comments

Joe Smith

I've never seen this one so I'm watching it for the first time with you! I never understood the hype with Timothee until I saw Dune and now I'm obsessed. Armie is so hot even though he might be a cannibal. lol Respect the art, not the artist right? Also if you guys haven't watched Dune you definitely should. There's so many gorgeous men for us thirsty queens!

Blake

WOW what a movie! What a life story! The talk with his father near the end really was so understanding and heartfelt. We all wish we could live in a world where everyone can be just that. When Wes said to Chey you were the only person I ever loved, it was so so sweet. Tears everywhere! Thank you, guys!

Petty Pumpkins
>>145256461

omg I hope you loved the movie as much as we do!!! and yes Timmy is SO good in the right role--if you haven't seen Greta Gerwig's Little Women adaption from 2019 he is absolutely phenomenal in it. And we have seen both Dunes! Rebecca Ferguson supremacy rise!

Petty Pumpkins
>>145555837

YES that conversation with his father is the one that sticks with us most when this movie is all said and done. so gorgeously heartbreaking. thank you for watching!!!

Angela D. Mitchell

So psyched to finally watch this commentary! As a film geek, as well as a pan woman, I love this film. But I also appreciated you guys opening this reaction with such a thoughtful overview so that you could enjoy it on your own terms. For me, this movie is a joyful celebration of love and life, in which even the loss was simply a beautiful and necessary chapter of youth. As far as Armie Hammer -- so many artists have turned out to be publicly flawed or worse, that my take is simply that this art belongs to me now. I love Armie Hammer's performance and think it's fantastic. I'm sorry he may not be a good person IRL (or at the very least, he needs therapy and maybe to rethink his kinks, ahem) but then again, that's true of so many artists. I don't like Armie's behavior if the stories are true, but I can still love and care about Oliver in this movie. And I do. As far as the age thing: knowing they're supposed to be early 20s (Oliver) and 17, (Elio) I'm okay with the story presented (and Chalamet was 21 IRL). Oliver is often boyish and vulnerable, and certainly still maturing himself. Elio is gifted, precocious, sexually active. So I do think it's possible for him to be capable, in specific circumstances, of maturity and informed consent in a relationship with someone a handful of years older. I definitely do not agree that it was grooming (nor do I think Elio's parents would have been okay if he had been 14). Grooming is inappropriate and toxic. What Oliver does is flirting. For me it wasn't much different than two college kids dating, one of whom is older. Elio is also the one with the power from beginning to end. He's the pursuer/aggressor throughout the interactions with Oliver, while Oliver is honest, cautious, and open about his hesitation. Even after Elio propositions him, Oliver doesn't act until Elio again explicitly pursues escalating the relationship. When he finally accepts, he checks in constantly with Elio, showing vulnerability, concern, and empathy. I also appreciated that Oliver openly asks for consent in two key scenes early on, and waits for Elio's response. So I felt he came across as a good and caring person, and that his romance with Elio was ultimately a positive thing. And we see visibly that Elio's parents feel similarly -- that they love and care about Oliver, and approve of him as a love interest for Elio if that's what Elio wants. I loved that Elio's parents, especially his father (played by the always wonderful Stuhlbarg) give Elio what he needs -- freedom and structure, and let him know that they are there if he needs them, all while respecting his privacy and feelings. And oh, Dad's speech at the end, beautifully acted by Stuhlbarg. He's giving Elio such a gift of love and understanding there. So... I have no issues with this movie. I felt the pairing was genuinely moving and erotic, and that it was handled with sensitivity within the fiction of their universe, as well as by the filmmakers and actors. Although Elio is in pain at the end of the film, it's a pain that is precious because it is equal to the love and passion he experienced. For me, some movies are about characters you were happy to meet and spend time with. I loved these people -- Elio, his parents, Marzia, Oliver, the little town, and felt they were all good, gentle, kind people in the end. The first time I saw this, I was tense, I kept waiting for some outsider to be homophobic or cruel and was so thrilled this wasn't that kind of usual tragedy! For me it's a perfect film and a perfect escape. Thank you for the reactions!

Stephanie Ella

Anybody who has ever been played by a player can empathize with Elio’s pain.. f**k Oliver! I think he used Elio for sex and then tossed him aside.. When I was 20 y/o and stationed in Sicily, I dated a narcissistic (26 y/o) asshole like Oliver who took me out to dinner once, and then snubbed me afterwards. We hadn’t even kissed, and I was really confused. He ended up hooking up with my roommate even though he knew that I liked him. 😒 he confirmed to me years later that she meant NOTHING to him. He never confirmed to me that he was playing games.. I figured that out all on my own. I was naive and vulnerable and he stomped all over my heart.

Pip

Well worth paying that little bit extra to watch along with you boys with your thoughtful and your humorous comments. When I first watched the film, years ago, I just couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about but I still get drawn back to it and have watched it several times. Now I love it but I still cannot nail down what it is that gets to me. But I definitely had to see the pumpkinettes take on it. The standout scenes for me are; Elio’s journey back from the station with his mum, the conversation with his dad and the final stare into the crackling fire. Recently I seem to be vicariously experiencing my emotions through teenage angst, as seen in the likes of films like this or shows like Heartstopper or Young Royals. I think I need therapy, lol. Great commentary boys. xx