MAY 2026 PATREON EXCLUSIVES! (Patreon)

😁🫶 Hey Petty Pumpkins,

the votes are in and this month, it's a celebration of Mothers... so we're giving you all the mothering you need by smothering you with content! 🤰🍼👩‍🍼

🎃 $5 Party Pumpkin Tier — MOMMIE DEAREST (1981) (OUT NOW!) 🧖🏻‍♀️ She's serving looks, it's giving glamour, we're just thankful it's wire hangers and not hammers... only kidding, but don't beat us... to the punchline! We celebrated Mother's Day with a Mother who slays!

☕ $10 Piping Hot Tea Tier — SE7EN (1995) 🕵 (OUT NOW!)SE7EN reaches down seven layers deep to explore each deadly sin in the most sickeningly depraved ways, so dive head first into the mystery with two petty sleuthing gays 📦😭

👑 $15 Pettiest Pumpkin Tier — BARBARIAN (2022) 🍼 (COMING SOON!)Get ready for the long awaited commentary on BARBARIAN! MAMA didn't raise no bitch!

🎤 $20 Petty Pumpkins Podcast Tier — EPISODE #34 👀☕Freshly brewed behind-the-scenes tea from Petty Pumpkins HQ! What we’re doin', what’s crackin' at the patch, and the unfiltered calamity you’ve come to expect from your resident pumpkins!

As always, thank you for keeping the lights glowing inside the Petty Vault… even when life gets us down, we'll always The Patch to lift us up 🤗 Thank you, Pumpkins!