SEPTEMBER 2026 PATREON EXCLUSIVES! (Patreon)

🎬😁 Hey Petty Pumpkins,

the votes are in and this months Patreon exclusives are so devilishly delightful and we can't wait until you fall under their spell! ✨😈

🎃 $5 Party Pumpkin Tier — THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE (2005) (OUT NOW!) 🥀✝️ It's the trial to end all trials and our Lawyer Linney has it under control. So click play, don't make the devil wait... or do... he'll see you in court soon 😵‍💫⚖️😈

☕ $10 Piping Hot Tea Tier — THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS (2003) (OUT NOW!) 🟩🔴🔵 Our eyes are open wide, there's no where left to hide, and The Matrix??? ...we're dismantling it from the inside 🕶️💻

👑 $15 Pettiest Pumpkin Tier — THE CRUCIBLE (1996) (COMING SOON!) 📜We're in hysterics over how bad the literacy crisis has gotten so we're taking it back to English class! Consider yourselves officially summoned to the courts.

🎤 $20 Petty Pumpkins Podcast Tier — EPISODE #38 👀☕ (COMING SOON!)Freshly brewed behind-the-scenes tea from Petty Pumpkins HQ! What we’re babbling about, what’s swirling around our crystal ball and the controlled chaos you’ve come to expect from your resident pumpkins! 🎃☕

As always, thank you for keeping the lights glowing inside the Petty Vault… we love you more than the devil loves innocent college girls! 🧡