Saturday Update! (Patreon)

Good morning! Saturday is here! I got a crazy thunderstorm last night so I'm in a good mood ^o^

Progress went pretty average I think. Placeholder sprite count is now 534, which is comparable to how many images were in Strade's game. But I still have a lot of script left to cover 😅 Like... a lot. I keep marching forward.

This is probably gonna be a long update BTW cuz I have a lot of things I want to talk about!

I wanted to start by talking a little bit about my writing direction with Lawrence! I've noticed some people feeling pretty anxious about what the new game will be like, so maybe this can help [ or maybe it won't but I can try LMAO ]

I actually talked about this stuff a fair bit back when I was in the script writing stage on here, but I realized that was quite a long time ago now, and I'm sure there's plenty of new faces here who weren't around for that.

I'm sure you guys can tell just from the pictures that I've been changing the tone of the game and Lawrence. In the original, he was very anxious, kind of softspoken, and there was actually a lot of focus on his hobbies, like the bones and the gardening. I've changed a lot of that.

The thing is that I'm not interested in telling the same story twice. Lawrence has not only changed in my head in the last decade, but I've lived so much life. I've had new experiences and hardships that I hadn't experienced or made sense of back in 2017. The entire purpose of my art is to express myself and to explore concepts in my own way.

My new Lawrence has become a darker and clearer concept. I would say that instead of being characterized by anxiety, he's now characterized by depression.

I've let Lawrence become an expression for the darker times in my life, when I struggled with substance abuse, social withdrawal, and suicidal ideation. Ironically, a lot of these things were in full swing in 2017- but in being in the middle of them, I couldn't properly express them. I hadn't processed anything yet. I hadn't even escaped yet.

I'm sorry to have to inform you guys- Strade's game was 'The fun one' LMAO 😂

Because of this mood shift, I've decided to chop old parts of his story that don't fit. There really isn't that much focus on his plants or gardening, or any hobbies to speak of. Because my message now is misery. I know how this sounds, and that many fans of old Lawrence won't like it. I know these aren't topics that people generally like to see in art. But unfortunately for all of you, Strade was successful enough to fund my artistic endeavours so I can move forward with no one's approval but my own 🤣

In all seriousness though, I do hope that this experiment will end up meaning something. I want to explore the things that people don't usually want to talk about. I want to make art about the things I've experienced, in my own way. Strade was a celebration, this is an exploration.

I want to explore a different kind of horror, the slow decay of a heart cut off from the world. Of a rotting mind. Of something that slowly slips into a comfortable nihilism. I want to talk about the poisonous allure of giving up.

So I've made a lot of changes. In some ways, this story will be softer. In others, maybe more awful.

I can't promise that people will like it. In fact, I expect they won't, to be honest. All I can promise is that I am very serious about this work, and I am putting every effort I can muster into making it. I make none of these decisions lightly.

And that's what I have to say on that topic! Now, let's see some sprites! I think I can scrounge up a gif today.

[ Please don't repost my stuff to social media | Пожалуйста, не публикуйте мои работы в TikTok. ]

Now, I also have a very special treat for you guys :3cccc

Last week I had to spend some time awash on a sea of emotions because I finished reading a book that is now my favourite book ever [ okay I'm a little biased but let me have this ]

Since you guys seemed to have behaved yourself when I linked to Darqx's animation, I think I can trust you guys with this special book recommendation.

I don't know if there's any BTD heads in here from the old old days, but if there is, some of you might remember a popular fanfic called 'Fervent care of dying things'.

[ It's actually still up: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26905372/chapters/65655241 ]

But I'm extremely excited to tell you that the author has adapted the fic with their own original characters and published a book!!!

Love Like Drowning, by Carson Wulff

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Like-Drowning-serial-romance-ebook/dp/B0H3WQDC1Z

I just finished reading my copy on Tuesday, and I can't recommend it enough. It absolutely transcends its origins as a fanfic and blossoms into something totally new and totally amazing. I've completely fallen in love with Gregory and Sinclair. It's amazing all the way through and explosive during the third and final act. I cried like a baby for the ending.

And, I think this book may be a very beautiful consolation prize for people who are sad about what I'm taking away from Lawrence, because I think Gregory branched off in a different direction than I took, and may be more of what people were actually hoping for.

It's absolutely brutal in its violence, and masterfully lustful in its NSFW scenes. I actually ended up rewriting one of the NSFW scenes in YKMET:Lawrence this week because I was inspired to do a better job by the insane writing of this book 😂

I'm just so proud and delighted to see something begin as a fanfic, inspired by my own work, grow and develop and branch into something completely new, something totally belonging to another person. This is what art is to me. It's ideas, infinitely diverse, evolving and growing and always changing. A chain of minds drawing on each other's experiences.

I've gotten to see someone walk in my footsteps, then sprint past me into places I could never go. This was a privilege I thought reserved only for parents. I cannot fully express how I treasure it.

This book has become very special to me.

I recommend it on the highest level. If you like my work, I think you'll love this book.

And of course, Willow Corner!

[ I've also attached a short vid- I managed to catch Willows biggest sneeze ever on camera! I think it was because I had the windows open and was letting cold air in 😅 ]

Thank you all so much for your support, and also your leap of faith with all my wild changes in my art, and the dark topics I want to work with. I hope I can make something special.

Stay safe and cool folks! And see you next week!