Saturday Update! (Patreon)

CURRENT CG COMPLETION: 83/181

Hello again folks. I'm sorry to report the last week didn't go so good :(

I've just been having trouble keeping up with everything. I keep feeling so exhausted, and that makes me work slower, so every work day has been like 12 hours long- which makes me feel exhausted, aaaaand it's just a vicious cycle ._. 

I mean I know it's burnout. I've had burnout enough times to know what burnout feels like x'D But I just don't have time for that shit! :'V 

Anyway, I really came up short last week. I lost half a day's work on Wednesday because of general exhaustion. I got my inks and flats done but I just couldn't handle the shading. My brain didn't want to work at all. I did finish that pic on Thursday, but instead of catching up, Friday went right out the window because of... I don't even know how to put this honestly. Basically I got shaken up pretty bad yesterday because something really shitty and distressing happened yesterday morning.

################# CONTENT WARNING ZONE #################

THE FOLLOWING INCLUDES STUFF ABOUT IRL CHlLD ABUSE [ SCREAMING AND HITTING ] THAT I HEARD FROM MY NEIGHBOURS. Please don't read this if that kind of thing distresses you. Just look for the big 'it's safe now' below to come back to.

I'm sure some of you might remember me mentioning screaming from my neighbours. It's been going on for a long time. Yesterday morning it was really really bad.

The unit where most of the screaming comes from is across the hallway from me. The building manager lives there with her teenage son [ I think he is like maybe 15-16 but I'm not good at telling kids ages ]. It's usually her- screaming at her son.

I heard the screaming start as normal, but it got way louder and more distressed. They burst into the hallway. I could hear them really well. The son cried "you didn't have to hit me" so I shot out of my chair and went straight to my peephole so I could see the situation.

The manager was stomping around screaming and swearing [ she has no filter in the hallway, she's screamed in the hallway before ] and at one point she quickly stomped over to the son and he shielded himself saying "don't hit me again".

The manager kept stomping around, said something like "If I don't see you in the car in [ some amount of time I don't remember ] you're dead" then she left the hallway.

The son remained sitting on the ground outside his apartment door crying.

I popped my head out as soon as I saw she was gone and double checked.

I said "Do you need me to call the cops?"

He said "No... I was being a jerk"

I said "Parents should never hit their kids no matter what. It's wrong." [ I was shaking by this point ] He didn't reply.

I kept talking. I said that if he ever needs help, or a safe place, or for me to call someone who can help, he can knock on my door any time of the day. I said I'm almost always home. I was really firm about it. I made sure he understood.

He barely talked much, but he made it clear that he was OK and that he didn't want me to call anyone.

I came out about an hour later to do my errands, and he was still there. I checked if he was okay again and he said yes.

When I came back he was gone.

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I don't know if I did all the right things... I know it's a really fucked up and sensitive situation and it has me really worried. I'm wondering if maybe I should have just called authorities anyway, but I also know that that's complicated too... 

I've been keeping record of everything that's been happening in a google doc just in case I ever do need to talk to someone.

And If I hear anything that sounds like violence again I really am gonna call the authorities. I'm hoping that awful manager has the two brain cells to rub together to know she better not fucking do that again.

If any of you guys have any tips for this kind of situation I'd be happy to hear them! I want to help but I really don't want to make anything worse...

################# IT'S SAFE NOW #################

Anyway, I do have two CGs to show that I scraped together during the week.

The theme of this week's CGs is 'BATTLES' I guess ^^; 

I switched gears to do a Celia CG because I was just getting sick of desert CGs ^^; Although this one makes me a little nervous honestly. Part of me worries about having something like this and then people taking it out of context or something. But I really want Celia to be as much of a villain as any of her male counterparts so I don't want to hold back anywhere. 

Aside from my ever present nervousness about everything, I am happy with these CGs. I think the motion in the Celia one turned out pretty cool! [ It's the result of all those swishy S-shaped lines in the composition ]

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Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't get as much work done this week as I scheduled. And I'm sorry for saddling you with the knowledge of what happened during my week- I considered being really vague about it but I figured that might just make you guys worry even more. Things have been tough -_- I won't give up though. I really can't. I'm gonna try and take time to myself to relax and recover this weekend. [ and I will stay alert about the stuff in the content warning ]

Thank you guys so much for your support and for being here with me during all this. Things are kinda rocky right now but I'm gonna do my best to smooth them out. 

Please stay safe and be kind to each other. <3 and see you next week!