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Hello again folks!

First off, I'd like to thank everyone for the kind and supportive messages I've been sent. I haven't replied to all of them, but I have read all of them.

Thank as well for your patience with me in this time.

I'm afraid I once again have very little to offer in the way of progress this week, as I spent the week until Thursday dealing with the closure of the discord server. 

I am having some difficulty returning to work quickly. I want nothing more than to just work on my game and feel a sense of joy in that again, but it's a bit difficult. I admit, this is the first time since before 2018 that I've wondered if I have the strength for this career, and fantasized about working a 'normal' job.

I have been recovering my health, both physical and mental. I'm beginning to be able to sleep and eat again almost normally.

However, I am finding a bit of difficulty using my computer. While the pressure of the server may be gone, social media is still a minefield of people hurling insults and anger at me. I've been called everything from 'malignant people pleaser' to """nazibob""", and I'd love to say that I just let it roll off my back, but I'm pretty sensitive. Every new click or scroll on social media sends a new wave of adrenaline and fear through me.

So, I've been trying to unplug as much as possible.

I'm really hoping that I can continue to recover this weekend and reduce my fear of my computer enough to have a normal work week next week.

I did manage to do just a tiny bit though.

A little while back, in the late server, a conversation between people gave me the inspiration to add some new dialogue to Day 3. At the end of last week, I went back and plugged in side-sprites for the new conversation, including one new expression.

I'll paste a bunch of snippets to try and make up for my lack of progress ^^;

Files

Comments

lavey fraiser

im glad that you are recovering gato!

Charunia ❤️‍🔥🔨

uh.. I'm so sorry about this freakin situation.. but.. you're really strong.. and we proud how you did with it. I hope you'll feel better soon 💖🙏 Thank you so much for everything you do

screwyourwaffles

Take all the time you need Gato. We love you so much and only want the best for you! Take care of yourself. We'll always be ready to support you 🫂

iridian (^O^☆♪

OH MY GODDD THE DIALOGUE IS SO GOOD i’m so happy we go a little into his background !! and i’m so sorry about this gato, please take it easy and know we are all here for you even if we aren’t close anymore. we love u lots meow ♥️

Sly

Ooh like the new dialogue. Very ominous, and I feel like the players answer to it could bring so much pain 👀 Maybe having black out time where you turn off the internet might help a little? You know yourself better than any, do what you need to get back to a baseline 💜

Axylion Arts

Take your time! Hope you'll recover perfectly.

Mori Covington

Simple suggestion, could you possibly re-associate your computer with positive things at your own pace? I honestly think most of your supporters- me included- would understand if you took some time off from work to recover from the stress this shit has caused you, as well as let it generally fizzle down. I work from 5AM-7PM from home. Two jobs. I used to love my computer, and now I kind of hate it. I'm here ALL THE TIME. In fact I'm at work *right now*. I get one day a week off. So I get hating a certain area of your house you used to love because it's associated with bad things that stress you out. If you're up for it, try taking a break and using your PC for good things. Games or movies or socialization with people you want to socialize with. Reassociate it with stress free stuff. And bring that relaxation into drawing, even if it's a personal drawing made just for you. Idk. I just hate that you're stressed and my heart would break if you lost your passion for game making because of drama. Please put yourself and your health first. I'm so sorry the internet is such a horrible place sometimes.

sShadowHuntress

Take all the time you need. There will always be time to work on things-- better to take care of yourself first. ❤ I hope things start perking up for you from here.

vinny

healing takes time but I'm glad you're already feeling better ❤️ i'm so sorry that you have to deal with situation like that you really don't deserve it, don't force yourself to work on game just take your time and rest as much as you need

Otaku Vs. Weeb

People are wild- dont let them get to you to much hun all you do is pretty freaking amazing and i and everyone else here happily supports you- (ps stade smile made me smile)

Sylphite

Love how threatening he is here I ADORE this new dialogue Also take all the time you need. I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through and my heart goes out to you for real. You aren’t a content machine you’re a real person with feelings and I’m sure all of us understand that. Take all the time you need to get back on your feet, we’ll be here when you get back ❤️❤️

Yuji🎀

I wish you all the best! We love you Gato! Thank you for everything!! You're the best! 💗💋

noramoto

Take your time gato! I hope you can treat yourself to something nice to destress💙💙

Bella-foreva

You’re one of my favorite creators. Also, wow that dialogue gave me shivers. Intentions can be ugly lol

Pia‘s Arts and Crafts

The Dialogue is soooo good!!! Also again: take all the time you need! :)

RosenrotMoth

Ooh~ he's so menacing!! And please, take your time and recover. Those people will get bored soon enough, just know that we're here to support you!! Go do something you enjoy!! 💕💕💕

FarShootingStar

Try not to be too hard on yourself. We know you're trying your best. (Also, the update pics look great. I wanted to mention that, since I accidentally misclicked and posted this too soon).

Ilex Weaver

Take all the time you need to heal! Things will pass and things will improve.

yo

Gato, you're doing a great job, ty for all you do! I'm really sorry that you have to see so much abuse, it's so hard.... I wish you a speedy recovery, but don't demand too much of yourself! Taking time to take care of yourself is very important <3 *Hugs*

Ilex Weaver

Also I adore Strade's expressions and dialog woghhhhhooohoo

Punished Kaz

Sorry to hear you're going through it ☹️ I love your work! I never played something like TPOF before, but I instantly fell in love with it! So much so that I checked out both BTD and even read This Is Not Romance! Your work is so FUCKING good and it honestly has an inspired me to pursue my own writing! But I totally understand the pressure of it all, and the hurtful comments n shit is always uncalled for. Whatever you decide to do, you'll have my support 🫡 your health and safety should always come first!

Voidopod

I love the little insight into his brain on what he thinks of machines since those are his primary tool. The psychology of your characters is one of my favorite parts, this dialogue adds to it. Take all the time you need to unplug and recover. We’ll still be here no matter what 🩵

Hoahoa

Stress can't go if it can't escape, time isn't the matter. You can reduce the stress little by little, don't put yourself hard, Gatobob🫂

Wurmy

I'm sorry about all the online hate recently, take all the time you need! We'll still be here even if it takes awhile to get back into work. Your health is always more important than the game, and work in general

maoshwow

People are always so quick to shit on others without looking at the bigger picture. Take care Gato, there's always just a small fraction of people like that! Try not to stress yourself out ❤️

korilakkumya

i honestly wasnt even expecting an update this week considering everything that had happened, i cant even imagine what itd be like to be in such a nervewracking situation with people that are set on attacking you no matter what you say or how you apologize. this sucks, and its genuinely such a terrible situation but just remember that this too will pass, and youll have an easier time getting back to work. we love you and your work no matter what, stay safe!

pleatedfocus

literally jumped out of bed when i saw the saturday update notif 😭😭❤️ we’re so proud of you for sticking around gato, i cant imagine the resilience it took. people seem to forget that content creators are human beings behind the screen. nontheless im happy that you’re taking care of yourself, i hope that things can only get better from here 🩷🩷

Rory

people really can be so ugly inside, and the internet is a place where those ugly parts can reign unfiltered. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. everybody that matters wants to see you enjoying yourself again, that is absolutely the main priority here. take all the time you need to make sure you're okay. then maybe you can even channel some of these feelings into your work. whatever helps you best ❤️

Gatobob

thank you, this is a good idea, I will try my best

kikibadger

I didn’t expect any game updates for this week, this is cool to see, thank you! Ultimately though, I hope you’re taking as much time for yourself as you need. I hope your work continues to be rewarding for you, and that this week quickly becomes just a difficult memory. Knowing the internet, I’m certain that one day soon the dust will settle and people will move on to the next drama that gets their attention. Have a good weekend, Gato, do something nice for yourself.

Smilingfemsweden

Please rest and take care of yourself as much as you can Gato. And please don’t be hard on yourself^^ have a good weekend! relax and do something relaxing and nice for yourself gato! *hug* love youuu! <3

Smilingfemsweden

Also look at stradeeeee waaaa he looks adorable as Always hehe and I love his expression waaaa! :3

Weez

Please take time off if you need to, and know that everyone here supports you. This kind of situation can be legitimately scarring, especially if you're already sensitive. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and make sure you soak in all the love people send your way! ♥

Anjelea Fisher

It has been said many times in the comments, but I'm going to say it too! We love you Gato, and we appreciate the work that you do, but the important part is that you enjoy doing the work. I'm not sure what caused the surge of hate, but you do what you have to do to protect yourself and keep a happy space for you. I can't speak for everyone obviously but there are those of us that will try and support you as best we can even if you aren't able to focus on game content for a little while. <3

Charlie Estrada

Please take care of yourself and for my part you can rest as long as you want. People really believe they have the right to say anything when a screen "backs them up". It is valid to be sensitive to these comments, not all of us have to endure comments even if they are foreign. Not all of us can take the advice to "ignore them". I hope you are better now Gato <3. Good progress and may you have a satisfactory work.

Sm1l3-d3m0n

Oooo that dialog is really good! I like how he stutters a bit while looking for a more descriptive word for what he's talking about. Small writing details like that go such a long way! As someone who gets the same kind of sickening-adrenaline-rush anxiety, I totally understand and really sympathize with your situation right now. Social media comes with the pressure of having thousands of eyes on you at all times, and seeing thousands of opinions about yourself, some good, some bad, some ugly. At the end of the day though, other people's opinions don't define who you have to be. All you can do is learn from this experience, and continue to go about your life and know that you have learned. Like any bad situation it can be hard to work while the aftermath is still happening, but I promise day by day it will get easier to direct your focus on more important things, and everything will return to normal before you know it. imo the apology was well worded. It’s not an excuse, but an explanation. You acknowledge the situation, what was done wrong and why, and apologize sincerely. I think in the end, shutting down the discord server was the best move you could've made. Trying to moderate and take responsibility for a bunch of internet randoms sounds like a parasocial hell. You’ve gotten through so much in the past and have come so far, you’ll get through this too and continue to thrive. Stay safe and take care of yourself, yeah? There’s a lot of people who care and appreciate your hard work! <3

Jen

This is a great update! I love how naturally he speaks, beautiful job with the art too! (Even if it's a placeholder) haha. I really hope you feel better and recover well. While I cannot relate to the scale of things, the last few months I've had my own fair share of unplugging in a lot of areas from people and servers. It can be really difficult, but the space will really become freeing with time. Hang in there, and know that no matter how hard things may get, it'll always get better. The beauty of life is in the fact its always changing- for bad and good.

PennyFaust

Any progress is good progress, even if it's small. I'm the same when I see negativity hurled my way, no matter how much good I've seen before that, it ruins my day. You're already strong just for being able to get this far with the internet being what it is. Unplugging isn't a bad idea, I really hope it helps. Whatever you end up wanting to do with your life, you're more than capable and I'll support you either way. You've accomplished so much already so I hope you can take time to feel proud of what you're capable of as well. I hope you can feel better soon and I hope you get some much needed rest. Just take things as they come one step at a time. Despite what any negative types might say out in the internet, you have support here and hopefully irl as well. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your weekend and the upcoming week.

Adam + Pj

I don't know what to say, that someone else hasn't said a 100x better... I am just so sad to wake up to this :( I still hadn't joined the server, so I'm really out of the loop w this. Why are people being like that? :( I won't sit here and pretend we know you, or have been fans the longest- but we know you enough to say confidently: you don't deserve any of that :/ You make fantastic stuff, and this work deserves to be rewarding. If the Discord was fostering a bad attitude, then it deserved to be nipped in the bud. People are such assholes! ((╬◣﹏◢))୨" Healing takes time, so take off as much as you need. Focus on something else- take a walk or go get a coffee with someone. Play some video games you haven't made the time for, go see that new movie that looks interesting. Distance makes the heart grow fonder- you need that time away from this to fall in love with it again. You can't force it... (;⌣̀_⌣́) And... as much as we would be saddened to see you go, if ultimately that is the route you choose, you are 100% within your right to do that. It is stressful to be in your position, and stretch yourself thin trying to keep up with it. It IS more demanding than anyone gives credit. At the end of the day though, you need to prioritize yourself- no matter how others react. We mean it- whatever decision you make, you have our support 100%. Hope this weekend can be a bit therapeutic. You need rest- and you deserve it too. 💚💚💚 - Adam + Pj

Loretti

I'm so sorry about those awful people, and I'm sorry they're making things so stressful and awful for you. You're a wonderful person and creator, and you're doing an amazing job <3 if you need to completely disengage from social media that's entirely understandable and you should do whatever you need to to heal and protect yourself. Sending you lots of love, gato, you're doing a great job and you deserve safety and care!

Taheca

I'm sorry people are being dicks about this. It was nice being with you until the end, and I appreciate you for giving me the first place where I could act horny about deranged terrifying things. I especially appreciate you giving us time to get some life rafts together so we could continue to have places to do that, even though those last few days were probably hard on you. I don't really have anything else to say about it that hasn't been said better by others, so I'll just end the topic by saying I appreciate you. 💛 Regarding the update (which, given everything going on, I wasn't expecting to get, so thanks for the pleasant surprise!): Ooh, I remember you coming in while we were discussing it and mentioning we gave you an idea, and I *adore* this new bit of conversation that resulted. Anyway, hopefully it's only positive from here! -Strade All Up In My Business

Alice

I’m really sorry you’re going through this, I can’t imagine how you must feel. I know it’s really tough to remember, but try to think of the fact that the people calling you those things don’t even really know you, they just see you as another online persona that they can just shit on when they’re feeling upset. You’re a really good person, the Internet is just awful sometimes, and I promise none of those things people say about you are true. They’re just trying to be hurtful for the sake of being hurtful. Sending you lots of love and positivity, it’s just a tough tough time right now

levaine

LOVE the dialogue so much ahh i love him looking for words it adds so much Ramp Up and Anticipation to the scene while still being totally natural :D im sorry youve been dealing with internet shit too.. it seems like more and more often people are picking apart anything and everything someone does just to Try to find something they can make into a Big Story.. the tmz of it all.. to expect it to not affect you would be cruel! you dont need our permission for a break, but know that none of us here who support and adore your work will be upset. we want you to love what you do. if that means stepping away for a breather, by all means! we will miss you, sure, but we'll be all the happier when you return refreshed and ready to go at your own pace :) <33

Mochibclm

WAAA LOVE THE NEW UPDATE!!! I’m sorry this happened to you, even if you take a little break to recover yourself, we are gonna stay here to support you in every of your projects of your decisions. I have more thing to say but that would make it a bible. Take care of yourself gato and stay healthy, sorry for the bad English and see you next week :D

Leo ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✨

Being somebody with a 'normal' 9-5ish job, I will say this: people will be people, no matter where you go. There'll always be a few knuckleheads that'll try to take you down to their level. That said, there are people both online and IRL who root for you. I am not in your body or brain right now, so I can only imagine how exhausted you feel about... well, shitty humans. Learn whatever you can from that experience, but ultimately, I am glad you are taking steps towards caring more for yourself like shutting down the Discord server. Folks may gripe, but eh, there's plenty of other servers and spaces out there they can migrate to. You are NOT responsible for their feelings; they are, and they choose how they want to manage them (whether poorly or in a healthy fashion). You can only do your personal best, and keep moving forward and forever growing, learning. And like others said, progress is still progress--regardless of whether it's outwardly measurable or more subtle, like being a better advocate for yourself by cutting out spaces/people that no longer have a place in your life, or for the the kind of person you ultimately want to become by the time you're old & grey (lol). If people want to be on a lower vibration (aka. assholes), that's their journey to be on. You just keep doing you. Despite how you may feel right now, you are doing just fine being by taking life at the pace you need it to be--especially since it's natural to want to take time to recover from a hard social/emotional experience that you just went through. I imagine if a loved one of yours went through exactly the same thing you just did, you'd show them compassion. I hope you give yourself the same kind treatment, even if that may feel hard on some days. You helped your share of people, Gato; just by being who you already are. Heck, your creations were a mix of catharsis and epiphany of self-discovery, for me. The right fans/people who are meant to stay by you will do so, just keep on being authentic and open to forever learning/creating in whatever medium makes you heart sing. 🔥 💪 [P.S. Don't feel pressured to reply back; just focus on taking care of yourself. I also love the dialogue with Strade... it leans on him being an unintentional (?) philosopher/psychologist in a way. 👀]

AL3X

I love how lively the dialogue feels <333 but genuinely I really hope this helps even slightly these people have zero affect on you they dont even know who you really are why let them get to you, don’t listen to people who you'll see once and never again and live life how you feel is best for you and your health!! Your art and games genuinely mean the world to me I cant explain how much I love the thought and details that goes into everything, really hard to explain without getting embarrassed but your work gives me a reason to get up and not drown in my sadness I love studying every line I hope you realize the importance you have on peoples lives

Nephrite

That's a perfectly normal way for you to feel right now. I hope you get through this tough patch and show yourself patience and compassion - even if you're not getting much of that from others right now. It's important that you do, regardless of whatever has gone down you deserve that much. It might be worthwhile to speak to a mental health professional while you're dealing with this. A qualified one - some of them are horrendous and have no expertise and should not be practicing if I'm being honest... Not because there's anything abnormal about feeling hurt about the continuous criticism (sounds like a lot of it is just plain personal attacks if I'm being honest) but because it sounds like you might need the support and guidance right now. Wishing the best for you. Sounds like your self-esteem has taken some hard hits recently and it must be really painful right now. Self-degradation doesn't lead to improvement. I hope things get better for you soon. :( On an off-hand note that dialogue is metal. Take care!

Minty

Fear of the computer is something I'm familiar with, TBH. A lot of my anxiety centers around the online world, as that's where I spend most of my time, haha. I feel pretty confident in saying that you'll be able to get through this, even if it takes time. I've gone through periods of not touching my computer for more than an hour a day for a week. I agree with Nephrite that talking to a mental health professional would be a good move, it may help you to sort out your feelings and give you the tools to deal with any future issues.

Emily Lemur

We understand if you need more time to heal! You’ll always have our support.

K1SMET115

the reason i dont use social media is the fear of it. ive experienced enough drama(personally and as an outsider, or bystander if you will) to know i dont wanna get too into it. even when im making my own work i doubt ill be socialising too much lol

Phoenix Astra's Art Patreon

That's horrible! Social media is really toxic. I hope you can get bigger+popular and I hope money comes rolling in one day where you can have maybe a social media manager to network(If you wanted one that is) to take the stress off. Please take as much time as you need though. We care about your wellbeing more than anything tbh. Please take care ;x;

Sapphire

I'm a day late, but I hope you recover soon. Remember to take your time. And I in general hope everything goes well for you. And the little snippets are much appreciated. Thank you

Gibby

The behavior of some people absolutely grotesques me god damn. I can’t even imagine everything that’s been bombarding you, you’re one tough cookie to put it lightly. Take as much time as you need to rest and recuperate. Take as long of a break as you need from working on the game, we’ll all still be here. I can’t speak for everyone here, but for me your work holds a special place in my heart. It’s somewhere I can get away from everything and truly just be somewhere else. Even if that somewhere is running through the Canadian wilderness from a large man and his crossbow. What I mean to say is, all your fans will still be here no matter how much time you need. We love your work, you’re such a talented fellow! TLDR:Most people suck but you rock, we love you Gatobob.

mmajee

I'm so sorry you have to through all this. Take your time, we understand that and remember, we love you ❤️ And I sure do love that new dialogue! ❤️

azra

gato I love you and support you but you have to make this game willingly. so you can bear what happens

Maman

POOKIE! I’m so late on this update, but I love it. Thank you for staying strong throughout all this. I know it may feel like sometimes you don’t have a choice but to stay strong- but I’m proud you’re still going if that makes sense. Much love darling 💖

Maman

Also I LOVE THE DIALOGUE!!! IM SCREAMING AAA

June

I'm really sorry that all these horrible things are happening to you, you seriously don't deserve it at all and I wish it wasn't happening. I really appreciate you continuing to work despite this, I found BTD/TPOF at an extremely difficult part of my life and your games brought me so much joy, I don't know if I could have gotten through that time without the meaning your art gave me. I sincerely hope that things blow over soon and that you're able to take lots of breaks and rest, your health comes first and we will continue to support you, thank you for continuing to persevere, it's extremely inspiring and I wish you all the best