Camp Doodles (Patreon)

I hope this is a good sign - Saturday, I was at my niece's place, and on & off throughout the day I had to grab my tablet to scribble some Daisy ideas. Ended up knocking out what I think are the last 4 poses in my previous post, over the course of an afternoon. That night, I drove back up to my friend's place - over 2 hours away - because he & I were going camping on the other side of the state the next day. We just got back today.

Between Sunday and this morning, I... made myself busy. Whenever an idea came to me, I didn't hesitate to jot it down! To put this into perspective, for the past five years or so I'd felt that the conditions needed to be "just right" for me to draw anything. And it often felt like nothing would ever meet those conditions.

Between 2018 and 2020, I moved, and lost the couch that I liked to draw from. 2020 needs little explanation, beyond it being the year that the contract that'd burned me out had started. Towards the end of 2020, I'd started to feel broken, which only got worse in 2021. From then on, at best I've felt numb.

My creativity has been so fragile, these past few years, that I've contemplated giving up. I've lived in fear of being interrupted, because it happened just enough times - I would finally have a spark of inspiration, and just when I'd sat down to draw, someone or something would pull me away from it. I started calling this "creative blue balls". Even earlier this summer, I would have to close my door whenever I wanted to draw, to signify to my friend that I didn't want to be disturbed, and also to keep his dogs away (they always come to me for scritches and to be let outside).

Over the past few days, I drew without issue. No special couch, no needing to ask for privacy. Inside the camper or out, my friend often sitting next to me, the two of us chatting, dogs at our feet... none of it kept me from blocking in an idea. He even noted that he hasn't seen me do that in years!

Now I'm hoping this is me finally getting back to normal, and not just a momentary sprint.