MaoMao and Jinshi Set - The Apothecary Diaries: The Great Imperial Inch-vestigation - Part 1 (Patreon)

Picture 1

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A serene garden, where cherry blossoms flutter lazily in the breeze. Jinshi, the ethereal palace official, lounges elegantly on a velvet cushion. His usual poise falters as he nervously flips through a book, cheeks tinged pink. MaoMao, spotting him from afar, crept closer on silent feet, her curiosity piqued—what could fluster the ever-poised Jinshi?

MaoMao: (sneaking closer, muttering) “Hmm. Jinshi-sama reading something that isn’t a scroll on tax reforms? Suspicious…”. She tiptoes behind him, craning her neck to glimpse the title. Jinshi startles, snapping the book shut with a thwack and clutching it to his chest like a shield.

Jinshi: (voice cracking) “M-MaoMao! Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people?!”

Peering over his shoulder, she squinted at the page. “The Phallus: Ancient Techniques and Modern Mastery?” she read aloud, her voice dripping with mischief. Jinshi yelped, fumbling the book into a bush. “I—It’s research!” he stammered, his face now matching his scarlet robes. MaoMao arched a brow. “Research? For your historical pursuits, Lord Jinshi?”. She smirked, plucking the book from the foliage. “This is history!” he insisted, snatching it back. “A, uh… comparative study of… medicinal practices across dynasties!”. She opened her mouth to retort but paused, noticing his genuine mortification—his shoulders tense, his usual confidence deflated. Sighing, she softened. “Well, if it’s historical rigor you’re after,” she said, tossing the book into his lap, “maybe skip the chapter on ‘Herbal Supplements.’ They’re usually just ginger.”

Jinshi blinked, torn between relief and fresh humiliation. MaoMao turned to leave, muttering, “Honestly, men…” but glanced back with a half-smile. “For the record, insecurity smells worse than any failed experiment.”

“Wait—smells?!” he called out, but she was already gone, leaving him to his “research.”

Later, while sorting herbs, MaoMao chuckled to herself—though she made a mental note to spike his tea with actual confidence-boosting herbs… just in case.

Picture 2

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MaoMao sat cross-legged on the moonlit stairs, chin in hand, replaying Jinshi’s mortified expression—why did she care if he wanted to…have his phallus back.. “Maybe he’s preparing for a very specific diplomatic mission,” she snickered to a passing moth, then immediately grimaced. Too mean.

“Ugh, fine,” she grumbled, stomping to her workshop. “If it’ll shut him up, I’ll brew something. For science.” Maomao muttered, “Salamander tails? No. Deer antler extract? Temporary. Ah—pangolin scales!. They regenerate, so…” She paused, eyeing the dubious ingredient. “This could either make him a legend… or turn him into a literal firecracker.”Sketching a recipe, she cackled. “Call it ‘Dragon’s Ambition Elixir.’ He’ll never know what’s in it—unless his nose works better than his ego.” Then her grin faltered. What if it works too well? Visions of Jinshi strutting like a rooster flooded her mind. “No—no, he’d be insufferable. Worse than insufferable,” she groaned, thunking her head on the table. Yet… the challenge prickled her nerves. “Just a small batch,” she decided, lighting a burner. “For… academic curiosity. Obviously.”

Picture 3

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The next morning, Jinshi lingered by the koi pond, pretending to feed the fish while side-eyeing the path where MaoMao usually appeared. Sure enough, she materialized like a mischievous spirit, plopping down beside him with a jar of suspiciously glowing liquid.

“Lord Jinshi,” she began, leaning so close her breath tickled his ear, “I’ve reconsidered your… historical research.” He stiffened “Reconsidered?!”

“Mm. I’ll brew the potion,” she whispered, “if I get to document the results. Personally.”

Jinshi’s face erupted in crimson, “Y-You can’t be serious—!” MaoMo tilted her head, all faux innocence. “Science demands rigor. How else will I measure efficacy?”

“Measure?!” he squeaked, then cleared his throat, deepening his voice. “This is wholly inappropriate!”.

“More inappropriate than that book?” she countered, grinning as he clutched his sleeves like a scandalized maiden.

A long silence followed, broken only by the koi gulping down the abandoned snack. “...You swear secrecy?” he muttered finally.

“Cross my heart,” she said, though her fingers were crossed behind her back. Jinshi sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Fine. But if this ends with me sprouting scales, I’m demoting you to latrine duty.”

MaoMao snorted. “Deal. Though scales might complement your aesthetic.”

As she skipped away, Jinshi buried his face in his hands—wondering if dignity was worth sacrificing for any part of this plan.