Hot Spring Showdown: Battle of the Best Body (Patreon)

Hakari: "Mmm~ Rentarou-kun always says my curves are perfect for cuddling… It’s just science, right? Some of us were blessed by the hot spring goddess herself~ ♡"

Karane (beet-red): "Sh-Shut up, you walking fanservice! My abs could crack walnuts! Someone’s gotta keep Rentarou safe from… from YOUR distractions!"

Shizuka (blushing, phone app booping): "‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty’… b-but Hakari’s chest is… Keats never prepared me for this…", "A-Also! Petite is… e-efficient!"

Nano: "Statistically, my 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio optimizes romantic synergy. Plus," pulls out a measuring tape from nowhere, "Hakari’s buoyancy is disrupting the spring’s pH balance."

Hakari: "Aw, Nano-chan, jealous my assets float better than your data charts?~"

Karane: "THAT’S IT! When Rentarou gets here, we’ll settle this! He’ll pick MY toned, practical, not-obsene bod—"

Shizuka (phone app): "‘Love sees not with the eyes, but with the—" (interrupted by app glitching to a cat meme).

Nano (nodding solemnly): "Irrelevant. My research confirms he fixates equally on all 4.32 square meters of us every 6.2 seconds."

All (pause, then in unison): "...So we’re all winning?"