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Not Me | Episode 10 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-02-27 15:55:35
Edited:
2025-06-01 15:24:47
Imported:
2026-06

Videos

  • 428512522.mp4

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Content

Black: "am i the drama?" content warning: physical violence

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Comments

Lisa M T

Just looking at the thumbnail....is Adam under a blanket again? Gonna watch later on a break.

Ms. T

Came to ask the same question after seeing the thumbnail on their email notification.

Shannon Reeve

This episode is such a difficult watch, every single time.

Ri

My highlight scene of this episode has to be 34:47. I actively go back to rewatch it because I just love White’s reaction to the “do you have a sibling” question. And I also love the dynamic of White playing along with the game by asking useless questions to get Sean to drink while Sean is straight up sleuthing lol. Also I will say, while Black beating up Sean is a heartbreakingly hard watch, I do think the set up of it all is absolutely insane. Imagine facing near death and slipping into a coma, your estranged twin brother wrongfully trusts your enemy and infiltrates your activist gang, falls in love with a member of said activist gang whom you hate, and now you have to reintegrate into everything he’s changed (to something YOU started) while forcing him to return to his original life and punishing his lover to try and sever all emotional ties. CRAZY.

Muyaho

I come for the in depth discussion on Lindsay Lohan and I can't explain how proud I am that y'all are brave enough for these sorts of conversations.

Sara

I have a whole theory that Sean somewhat knows about Black/White, because he keeps talking about Black "leaving" him (meaning HIS Black is gone and this one is back) not Black beating him up. But I could be relying on subtitles too much/wanting Sean to be that smart.

Neil

Black is an asshole and the show does portray that pretty clearly from the first episode on, his reasons for being an asshole don’t excuse his behavior and I never felt like the show was trying to do that. Do I absolutely love him as a character? 100%, but do I like him? No

Tabea

MY FAVORITE EPISODE (yes I need therapy (although I already have it)) the constant stopping during the black and sean scene because yall didn't want to watch it was funny but also very real because it is indeed a super hard watch, it's heartbreaking and I'm just so amazed with off's acting throughout this show. I just love how he portrays sean's vulnerable side but god it hurts so much how he just started wanting to live because of "black" and now even when he beats him up sean doesn't defend himself and keeps clinging on to and begging for him. Also I don't think the show is meaning to present black and his behaviour as okay, because it's definitely not and I don't think the audience sees it as okay either. I feel like though white can be super naive and a bit stupid, him in contrast to black (and also sean to a degree) is kind of meant to portray how its better to go about things like activism, and how the rage with which black and sean have gone about it, especially black, is not the solution and not sustainable. Though I must say to me black isn't ireedemable, he definitely belongs in jail and redeeming him isn't the point of the show but I can see how people become like him and I do have the belief that people like him can change. To me he represents all the people who the system has fucked up so much they themselves turned into perpetrators. He has grown up privileged so it's not that the system failed him, but I think he's an example of someone who's seen directly how people profit off of the system (the parents), has seen what's going on, and rather than trying to cause positive change through hope, humanity and communtiy, he mirrors the anger and lack of empathy of the world. It's something I see a lot in radical leftists sadly, where you'd think they will enact the exact opposite of the ugly of the world, but sadly some are so disappointed in the system they themselves turn corrupt in their own way and try to solve things with violence and revenge. Also this is definitely not an excuse, but black didn't beat up sean because he's gay but because he wants white to stay out of his world and I'm guessing he wants to sever sean's attachment to "black"/white to make sure its only his world again, and white stays away from it/sean.

EmaraAriel

From what I've seen of Not Me, Black is just someone completely and utterly jaded with the world and the only person he cares about is White. His anger towards Sean is because he dared 'mess' with his little brother. Remember, he hates Sean so he thinks White is going to suffer in that relationship.

Lost Boy

This was my analysis of Black’s character when I watched this episode back then. In my opinion, Black is the real anarchist of the show. Others are just his followers. He is very clearly on a death row mission to fix the world because he is pissed off with it. A mother and best friend like that will do that to ya. He also doesn’t value anyone’s life at all except for White’s. I feel like he beat up Sean coz Sean kissed White and wanted to be with him which directly puts White in danger. The guy literally broke up with his girlfriend and didn’t feed her any information about what he is going to do to protect her.

Jasmin💙

The fucking queen impression was spot on I’m dying😭😭😭😭😭

Lindsay Wood

Black didnt beat up Sean because he was gay, he kissed him first to make sure Sean thought it was White and then beat him up for being with his brother. and i dont think this show is trying to make us think that his actions are ok at all. for most fans, this is the worst scene in the show. i also hated the Sean beating up Yok scene. really tough to watch both! it is so heartbreaking to see Sean refuse to fight back and try to get Black to stop beating him up. you can see how much Sean loves White in that scene. he is head over heels. but you will find out later more about why Black did what he did.. :)

cabbage

sean did try to choke white so maybe black is ok!

Muyaho

I get what you mean, except there are no anarchists in this show. I also think that's one of the points of the narrative. These are young folks angry at the world, but they have no experience with organasing no motivating ideology and no concrete plans. They just feel like if they make a big enough splash other people are gonna take on the task of rebuilding. Which isn't even how reform happens let alone revolution.

cabbage

how did white do a flying kick and the rest of the henchmen where just suddenly gone?

Emma

Ah we're finally on the “everything happens so much” part of the show!

Auburn

when I get anxious watching a show, I mute it, so I don't get overwhelmed by the sounds, but can still read the subtitles, BUT I couldn't mute you guys. I kept pausing. One of the hardest scenes of a show I've ever watched.

Lisa M T

BL Magic.... they have super powers...😂😂

Dancey Fun

one of my fav episodes of BL in all of time. People struggle to get to this point sometimes but when I tell you the pay off is WORTH IT!! it never gets old either. I will never skip a Not Me rewatch.

Dancey Fun

I will save my views on Black till the end I think saying too much now takes away from the experience. I think it's too soon to form a full view of him i this episode. But I will say Black will get you a range of very strong emotions from people not just one...

wen

black's actions are extremely cruel, but it's important to remember why he's doing it. i feel the last few eps provide more insight, but white is black's only remaining family. he's been abandoned by both of his parents and has no real connection to anyone else, so he doesn't want to lose his brother. what we see as irredeemable violence is black's twisted way of protecting white; he knows how stubborn sean is, and if he isn't extremely cruel sean won't back off. to him, it's better if white is heartbroken but safe than dead (ie. what their mother was saying about how they are all headed to their deaths by challenging those in power)

inherent whimsy of bisexuality

the work for 9 episodes really builds up to make episode 10 so emotionally devastating... it's awesome! this is my favourite episode, too, along with 9 (9 is the best day of sean's life, 10 is the worst day of sean's life lmfao) and 13.

Aleisha Layne

I did not see that black vs Sean scene at all like RJ did. I didnt even think homophobia from Black. When I watched it even the first time to me blacks actions were him trying to kill the love between Sean and white with the only thing he knew about their relationship. Same way he just ended his relationship with Eugene so bluntly without question. He wanted to make sure that his message was clear that it was over so that he could 1. Protect his brother 2. Give white a clean getaway from all the trouble because if Sean isnt fighting for him theres no reason to come back 3. Its easier to let go if you replace love with hatred and 4. To protect sean the same way he protected Eugene from the ones who want anyone connected to black to hurt too. ALSO im writing this before the episode finishes so if i am spoiling STOP NOW. But Todd is in love with Black....he would 100% have Sean killed

Emma

Black is my poorest little meow meow who's never done a thing wrong ever, okay? No but, really, I don’t think anyone thinks what black did was okay. Black's made out of trauma and anger and the only things in the world he cares about are burning down the oppressive system and white. And he hates Sean (just like Sean hates him). Sean dared to put his grubby hands on his precious baby brother. I mean I’m pretty sure black would hate anyone who white dated, but Sean? You better believe there’ll be violence. Sean got out pretty lightly I’d say. Black also wants white safely away from the gang and any potential danger so separating Sean and white is also crucial. He just went about it the cruelest way possible, because he’s an asshole.

Ms. T

Be an Annie and do it when you’re a child. Adulthood in London is cruel. We all broke as f**k girl. At least you can say you have a Vera Wang equivalent for a mom.

Cheeryfiz

Love how white magically gained the ability to act during that phone call with todd

hayyy_png

with the up close waving, here in australia (or maybe just sydney/melbourne lol) it is very common with us younger millennials and gen z. now, im wondering if it is an asian influence bc we have such a big asian population nowadays?

hayyy_png

that's always been my interpretation too!! especially the point of black solving things the only way he knows how - bc the whole gang engage in a violent life already it shifts the context i think. these actions arent romantiscised by the show either. this framing is just so different from most bls that i dont think the audience has to worry about it being "problematic". also hi fellow toddblack truther

Yemidotcom

I think black sucks and has the most communication issues I’ve seen in a human but all I will say is you don’t get his full picture till then. So buckle up buttercups lol

S u n f l o w e r

Es tan chistoso que es tan obvio que no es Black jaja tan solo ver su mirada ya sabes que no es el jaja

S u n f l o w e r

Lit Black ni hubiese dejado hablar a su madre y de una la mandaba a la chingada jaja

S u n f l o w e r

Esa escena donde están los balazos y están Yok y Dan u ustedes dicen que no se besen me recordó a una escena de KinnPorsche jajaja van a morir cuando la vean jaja

Rose

It honestly took me so long to get through Sean and Black's scene. I just kept pausing because of cringe and hurt. I just knew it was going to be messy and my heart just hurts for Sean... Like, he has no one, and thought he finally found someone, that then just kicks him to the side like that... I just want to kick and hit Black in return (though will mostly likely get my ass kicked) and with that ending... Sean get major whiplash. they better have a really good conversation the next episode!

Julia Bouknight

I think the show spent several weeks explaining that Black and the violence he inflicts upon others is the exact opposite of okay. It's the reason why Sean is SO violent towards White. Every character confirms Black is a little bit of a monster. I think you'd have to be to be the embodiment of like violent, anarchic, revolution. But we see that his world works best when White is involved and there are shades of grey.

Ashley

Your Elizabeth is incredible. Yes queen 👸 💅🏼

Jaz

Same!

emmadilemma

I also think it’s a little personal with Sean because Sean used to be like Black- ruthless and with nothing to lose. Remember Black has been betrayed already by Todd and now his fellow cruel and hateful vigilante is acting “soft” (while yes, also putting his brother in risky situations). He said “fight me” over and over as in, why don’t you fight, that’s the person I want to do crime with

emmadilemma

The way Black says fight me, it seems like it’s about more than White. I think that in Black’s mind, he and Sean had a sort of suicide pact because they were both willing to go down with the ship. Now that Sean has changed, Black thinks he’s reneged on that promise (imaginary though it may be) and feels betrayed.

Lost Boy

I still think Black is the real anarchist leader of the show. His plans (both arson and defiling school property) also support this motion. He doesn’t need to be fed up of the world specially since he has rich parents with higher government reach, but he still is because of his principles. He hates rulers like Tawi and *spoiler* and also his parents. He is anti establishment. These are classic principles of anarchy.

I_KPOP_Fan (Ry_Noona)

Black’s attack of Sean…I feel like he’s trying to keep him away from White. Black is always protective of White in the past, and we know Black is a very extreme character. He obviously wants White away from the life he leads, and getting him away from Sean is part of that I think. Plus Black dislikes Sean anyway. Also, y’all mention characters doing terrible things and the story trying to redeem them…it’s like y’all have seen KinnPorsche already 😂

Xiao Tian .Y

Me when Todd is on the screen: Blah, blah, blah. Proper name. Place name. Backstory stuff…

Carmen W

I think what goes lost in english translation is what you meant about "not knowing if Gumpa is supposed to be a figure of wisdom etc" because in Thai the boys call him only 'hia' and that's a hokkien-thai word that only is used for older guys by younger ones and the meaning is like 'hyungnim' in Korean. So with them using hia to call Gumpa their relationship is apparent as him being a protective brother/father figure.