Midnight muse. X6 (Patreon)

I’m only one person, and I’m tired of trying to maintain more relationships than I can realistically handle.

Between online conversations, my personal life, creating every day, selecting material, writing, studying, trying to move my projects forward, and simply taking care of my own emotional well-being, alongside the new direction I’ve decided to take, I’ve realized I no longer have the emotional capacity to carry everything at once. I need time for myself.

One of the hardest parts is knowing that I haven’t replied to some people for months, and I genuinely feel sorry for that. But I’ve also come to realize that I can’t keep carrying the weight of trying to be everything for everyone.

I don’t believe I owe anyone constant access to me. I’ve always tried to give my best, and I’ve poured my heart into everything I’ve shared here. I’m deeply grateful for everyone who has supported me, but it’s important to remember that none of us truly know each other beyond this screen.

Even the strongest relationships in life change. My parents were together for thirty years, built a family, and in 2023 their relationship came to an end. My brother and I are still their children, yet life moved in a different direction. Human relationships are incredibly complex. If that is true even of the people closest to us, imagine how difficult it can be to navigate so many connections online.

For the past three months especially, being online has become emotionally exhausting. It has been draining more and more of my energy until it started feeling like a burden instead of something that brought me joy.

I’m also tired of feeling that I constantly have to say “thank you” to prove my gratitude. Please know that I truly am grateful, and I always will be. I don’t think gratitude should have to be repeated every day in order to be real.

It was I who opened the doors to this personal project, and I take responsibility for that. But after everything that has happened to me over the past three years—losing account after account on Instagram and constantly having to rebuild everything—I thought people might understand a little better why I need time for myself.

What has hurt me most is not that some people feel disappointed, but that after repeatedly asking for time and space because I feel overwhelmed, some have become harsher with me, accused me of things, or projected their own frustrations onto me. I find that deeply painful because, in the end, the only thing I have done is stop talking to some people for a few months while I try to figure out how to move my life forward.

I’m not asking anyone to wait for me. I’m simply asking for the same understanding and compassion that I have always tried to offer others.

I’m not saying this because I don’t care. Quite the opposite. I’m saying it because I need to be honest. I need space to focus on my life, my health, my work, and the person I’m becoming.

I hope you can understand. Thank you to everyone who has walked alongside me with kindness and respect. Your support has always been important to me, and I am grateful to every single person who has been part of this journey, whether you are still here or not.

And please don’t misunderstand me—this isn’t about subscriptions. Everyone has the right to make the choices that are best for them. What has been difficult for me is that these moments always seem to coincide with times when I make an important decision or choose to set a boundary in my own life. It can be emotionally hard not to take that personally, even though I know those decisions belong to each individual.

And thank you to everyone who is still here, quietly supporting me every day without expecting anything more in return. Your kindness, patience, and understanding are gifts I will never take for granted. I am deeply grateful.