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III.

Mirror flower, Water Moon (English version)

It’s not me who writes this, is the night.

May you discover ....... May you eat..... 

May you be ....... May you be ....

(Who are we to say…)

By an old and ancient way 

where as seven roads did meet 

A gold and sapphire glory: over head 

May you discover ....... May you eat..... 

May you be ....... May you be .......

(But Who are we to say… )

Crying above the roaring of the storm

The iridescent dome of heaven 

(The iridescent heavenly dome)

Look on every thing then with the eye therefor

That thou mayest see, nor fall afar forlore.

The moon is so blue tonight

The moon is so blue tonight

Flower in the mirror a moon in the water

Flower in the mirror a moon in the water

Kyōka  suigetsu

Kyōka  suigetsu 

The moon is so blue tonight

The moon is so blue tonight

Rising after sundown Across the salt sea

(Rising after sundown Across the shimmering sea)

Keep the memory still with you, 

Let it live, 

Let it breeze… 

In the faint echoes of the dawn across the snow 

The voice of Death, 

The Truth to Gather,

Come and let us seek the Loved One 

For this is the Garden of old Romance

For this is the Garden of old Romance.

But Who are we to say…

But Who are we to say… 

Magnolia of your womb, 

The Dawns are heartbreaking.

—Itziar Evangeline Blue

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Comments

Classicnymph

I have a question. I'm not a native English speaker… and I'm wondering which phrase sounds better: The first /or the second one in (…). 1. The iridescent dome of heaven 2. (The iridescent heavenly dome) 1. Rising after sundown Across the salt sea 2. (Rising after sundown Across the shimmering sea)

Anthony L

I like the 1st in each case. In both choices, I see I'm opting to break up the flow of the spoken line slightly. (Unlike amateurs, you don't write short little sentence stubs.) In the first, "iridescent heavenly" sounds like too many breathy syllables in a row. in the second. salt is shorter and I think combines more pleasantly with sea. These are not "rules of English" or anything, just quirks.

Anthony L

Who made the Sphinx up there?

Classicnymph

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poems. Your feedback means so much to me. I’ll definitely use the first option then! Bless!

Classicnymph

Source: “Chimera con Ali” Sculpture by Marcello Mascherini bronze, 1963