Midnight Pals: Castle Freak (Patreon)

Stuart Gordon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the castle freak  King: is this a freak who lives in a castle or someone who's a freak for castles?  Gordon:  Gordon: what do you think steve  King: probably the first thing?  Gordon: obviously

Gordon: so this castle freak  Barker: wait i also have a question  Barker: a question about the castle freak  Gordon: what do you want to know about the castle freak? Poe: can you all stop saying castle freak  Barker: no

Barker: what kind of freak is this castle freak?  Barker: is it, like, someone who, say, has a whole room full of stale candy?  Barker: or a four foot fence?  Gordon: no it's the good kind of freak  Gordon: like a mutant  Barker: now we're talkin!

Gordon: so this american family inherits an italian castle  Gordon: but what they don't know  Gordon: is that this castle comes with a freaky little surprise  Barker: is the surprise a castle freak?  Gordon:  Gordon: yes but  Gordon: don't give it away

Gordon: don't give away the ending!  Barker: feel like the title already gave it away  Gordon: what?  Gordon: how does the title give away that there's a freak in the castle?  Barker: the title is "castle freak"  Gordon:  Gordon: that's a typo

Gordon: so this american family now owns a castle with a castle freak  Gordon: grit eatin' freak  Gordon: scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique  Gordon: he's a one man, no gut, losing streak  Gordon: nothin' but a castle freak

Gordon: then a prostitute mysteriously disappears from the neighboring town  Gordon: and the cops are really intent on finding her  Barker: phhbt i could buy a castle freak  Barker: but this is getting kinda unrealistic

Gordon: but picture this  Gordon: the dad is played by a young jeffrey combs  Gordon: in his joel hodgson era