Midnight Pals: Spicy stories (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello childrenPoe: ohPoe: oh joannePoe: you're backRowling: i have concernssPoe: uh we're mostly about just telling stories herePoe: you have your own campfire for your terf stuff don't you?Rowling: yess but they've really been getting on my nervess lately

Rowling: you know how it iss with terf deatheaterssPoe: not reallyRowling: alwayss agreeing with everything i ssayRowling: all "oh yes dark lord" this and "oh spare me dark lord" thatRowling: ssometimess you jusst get tired of hearing "masterful gambit dark lord"

Rowling: i tell you, you don't know how hard it is to run a cultL Ron Hubbard: oh yeah woof big moodHubbard: people think its all fun, but its actually a lot of workRowling: I know right????

Poe: regardless, joanne, i'm going to have to put my foot downPoe: this campfire is just for storiesRowling: uhhh actually i do have a new ssstoryRowling: i wass insspired to write after having an argument on the internetBarker: oh damn no shit?Barker: that's wild

Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstoryKing: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages!Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it

Rowling: i call itRowling: the time turner diariesssBarker: wow this is not really funny anymoreBaker: its like INTENSELY not funnyLovecraft: catchy title tho!

Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisstRowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society

Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust?Rowling: well good newsRowling: i've rectified that little mistake

Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety?Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them?Rowling: for reasonsRowling: i'm jusst asskin questions

King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidenceBarker: give it up steveKing: no no i can fix thisKing: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner-Barker: oh god that's so cuteBarker: don't you just love him?Poe: that's our steve

King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft-Rowling: nopeRowling: didn't happenKing:King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying-Rowling: thiss iss missogyny

Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at allRowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept itRowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at allRowling: they love accepting things i ssay!

Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truthRowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be trueKing: but joanne, it isn't true-Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersShelley: i got here late wot's going on?Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denialRowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jewsRowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss

Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape?Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good pointSonia Greene: i'm right here howardLovecraft:Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much