Midnight Pals: Tarot (Patreon)

Slimyswampghost: check it out, i designed some tarot cardsSSG: they work just like regular tarot cardsSSG: except they have scary monsters on themSSG: with real fucked up corned beef faces

Poe: how's this work? like regular tarot cards?SSG: oh yeah exactlySSG: well i mean almost exactlyPoe: what do you mean almost exactly?SSG:Poe: what do you mean almost exactly?

Poe: that "almost exactly" kinda has me a little worried tbhKing: oh edgar you're being paranoid, i'm sure it's fineKing: it's fine, right, trevor?SSG: yeah yeah it's fineSSG: i mean it's mostly fineKing:

SSG: it's just there's this little thing about themPoe: what's this little thingSSG: well you know how usually with tarot cardsSSG: they tell your fortune?Poe: yes?SSG: with these insteadSSG: a monster kills youPoe: "a monster kills you"SSG: yesPoe: is it the monster on the card?SSG: yes its the monster on the cardPoe:King:Barker:Barker: that sounds bad assKing: yeah read my fortunePoe: do me tooLovecraft: me first!

SSG: [turning over card of a guy stabbed with 10 swords] ok howard so this is the 10 of swordsLovecraft: uh huhLovecraft: and that's good right?

SSG: no actually its badLovecraft: you do you figureSSG: it says you're going to dieSSG: by getting stabbed by swordsLovecraft:Lovecraft: ohSSG: 10 of them, probably

King: ok now do me!SSG: [turning over card] ok you got the 3 of cupsKing: oo! cups! sounds lucky!SSG: not reallyKing: oh?!SSG: yeah its kind of bad actually

SSG: it means you're gonna dieKing: die?!SSG: yeah by cupsSSG: like, maybe a cup will fall on your headSSG: or maybe you'll drown in a really really big cupSSG: or maybe just like an animated monster cup will get youKing:SSG: this is really more of an art than a science

Poe: ok do me nextSSG: [turning over card] ah you got the moonSSG: tough break, manPoe: what?SSG: the moon is going to kill youSSG: like a big monster moon is going to kill youPoe: how are you getting these answers, are you doing celtic cross or something

Barker: ok do me nextSSG: [turns over card] you got the towerSSG: a tower's gonna kill youBarker: how's that work? did you design some kind of, like, monster tower?SSG: yesBarker: HOW DID YOU DESIGN A MONSTER TOWER?SSG: well um have you ever played battle chess?

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?Poe: trevor made cursed tarot cardsShelley: oh yeah? i ain't scared, do meSSG: [turning over card] ok this is the wheel of fortuneShelley: what's that mean? i'm gonna get killed by a wheel of fortune or somethingSSG: yeah actually

SSG: also right before it happens you might notice a lot of ambient wheel of fortune reference randomly happening right before it happens

Mary Shelley: whatever, i ain't scared of no wheelShelley: [flicking switchblade] some wheel tries to start shit with me, i'll give it one of theseLovecraft: [sweats] watch where you're pointing that thing