Midnight Pals: Substack Attack (Patreon)

Thomas Monteleone: hey everyone you may remember how last year i got really mad about the blacks and the transMonteleone: but I've had a year to think about itMonteleone: and I've decided to start a substackPoe: oh noKing: oh noBarker: oh noKoontz: oh noLovecraft:Monteleone: don't worry, i anticipated your interest in my substackMonteleone: so I've taken the liberty of subscribing you all to MONTELEONE'S MUMBLINGSMonteleone: welcome to my twisted world!Monteleone: you're welcome

Monteleone: i was just thinking that, anytime a non-white person wins an award, they probably don't deserve itLovecraft: wow your ideas are intriguing to me and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletterMonteleone: good news!Monteleone: YOU ALREADY DID!

Monteleone: a bunch of wokescolds got me kicked out of the HWA for being racist and transphobicPoe: wait, you were being racist and transphobic?Monteleone:Monteleone: no wait let me rephrase thatMonteleone: a bunch of wokescolds got me kicked out of the HWA JUST for being racist and transphobic

Monteleone: i just got called racist on substackPoe: tell us what happenedMonteleone: got called racist on substackPoe: yeah but why?Monteleone: i was being racistPoe: on substack?Monteleone: yeah it was on substack

Monteleone: now some people were mad when i repeated my statements on a podcastMonteleone: but, in my defense, i was drunk at the timeMonteleone: c'mon you can sympathizeMonteleone: haven't you ever got drunk and done a thing that you regret?King: you're still doing the thing though?Monteleone: oh yeah no i don't regret it

Monteleone: you guys don't seem all that receptive to my viewpointMonteleone: here, i'm going to list ALL the minorities who stole awards rightfully deserved byMonteleone: uhhhMonteleone: writers of a certain lighter, more deserving hueMonteleone: that will definitely get you all on my sideLovecraft: i'm on your side!Monteleone: glad to see SOMEONE around here has some sense

Monteleone: look, when they gave awards to Thomas Ligotti and Graham MastersonMonteleone: that was all white and properKing: you mean right and proper?Monteleone:Monteleone: did i stutter?

Monteleone: but they also gave an award to koji Suzuki??? Monteleone: c'mon who's ever heard of THAT guy!King: he wrote the ring booksMonteleone:Monteleone: well I'VE never heard of himMonteleone: and i know of all the white authors

Monteleone: and owl goingback won an award?!Monteleone: now if you ask meMonteleone: that name sounds VERY ETHNIC

Monteleone: so they gave an award to linda addisonMonteleone: now she's a nice lady and i consider her a friendMonteleone: but she doesn't deserve any recognitionMonteleone: and i'm totally not being racistMonteleone: i literally just said i had a black friend

Lovecraft: ya know, he's got some interesting ideasLovecraft: why is it that we see fewer awards won by pure Anglo-Saxon writers?Lovecraft: and instead they're giving awards to-King: you've had enough, howard, its time for bedLovecraft: i'm just asking questions!

Lovecraft: he's right tho!Lovecraft: good Anglo-Saxon writers are being ignored in favor of Saracens and Italians?Lovecraft: why, when i heard they gave an award to William Stanley Braithwaite--Monteleone: see? this guy gets it

Lovecraft: Braithwaite didn't deserve that awardMonteleone: right on!Barker: you sure you really want to die on this hill, thomMonteleone: he's just tellin' it like it is!Lovecraft: excuse me, let me finishBarker: oh yeah thom you're DEFINITELY going to want to hear what comes next