Midnight Pals: The Bad Timeline (Patreon)

Harry Turtledove: greetings citizens of earth 16Poe: hi harryKing: hi harryKoontz: hiLovecraft: helloBarker: heyTurtledove: i hope that the timeline hasn't been irrevocably altered during my uneventful absence

Turtledove: i'm back from my secret mission on behalf of the Temporal Corps correcting the timelineThomas Disch: ah i see you've been playing the classic Legend video game Timequest by Bob Bates!Turtledove:Turtledove: video game?!?!?Turtledove: this is real life!

Turtledove: i'm happy to report that I've finally corrected the damage done to the timelineTurtledove: and history is back on its proper trajectoryKing:Poe:Koontz:Barker:Lovecraft:Poe: you're sure history is on the right trajectory?Turtledove: of coursePoe: nothing could have happened to make it go wrong?Turtledove: wellTurtledove: if i'm being totally honestTurtledove: i did accidently squash a bug back in the MesozoicTurtledove: but it was just one bugTurtledove: i'm sure it's fineTurtledove: it's probably fineTurtledove: boy i'm hungryTurtledove: anyone got any dodo eggs?Poe: harry dodos have been extinct for hundreds of yearsTurtledove: what? no no that can't beTurtledove: i mean i know they were endangered back in the 80sTurtledove: but after president Mondale's reintroduction program...Poe: oh boy harryPoe: maybe you should sit down

Turtledove: what? Ronald Reagan??!Poe: yeahTurtledove: the actor???Poe: yeahTurtledove: no no the timeline's all wrong!Turtledove: [adjusting mysterious handheld device] great scott i must have transfigurated the chronometer instead of recontrabulating the interspekulon!Barker: oh yeah that explains it Poe: clive

Turtledove: who's president nowPoe: it's Donald trumpTurtledove:Poe: againTurtledove:Turtledove: oh you guys are fucked

Turtledove: [holding mysterious device] let me just check the readings Turtledove: oh boy, no wonderKing: what is it?Turtledove: you guys are just lousy with tachyons King: is that good?Turtledove: no!Turtledove: it's bad!Turtledove: it's very very bad!

Turtledove: obviously this timeline can only be the work of my arch nemesisTurtledove: the evil leaperKing: the evil leaper?Turtledove: yes, he leaps from time to time, striving to make wrong I set rightTurtledove: Ray BradburyKing:Koontz:Poe:Lovecraft:Barker: i gotta say, i was not expecting that

Ray Bradbury: it's me ray BradburyBradbury: that's right! i'm altering the timeline!Bradbury: soon it will all be malt soda shops and ruddy-cheeked little girls, ice cream socials, hay rides in the brisk autumn evening, lazy summer afternoons down at the ol' fishin hole Bradbury: the eternal 1930!