Midnight Pals: Reviews (Patreon)

David A. Truesdale: hey it's me David a truesdale, editor of tangent online, fearless advocate of political INcorrectnessLovecraft: whoa!Truesdale: so watch out, snowflakes!Lovecraft: wow!Truesdale: [rips CENSORED tape from mouth] this ain't your dad's short fiction reviews!Lovecraft: i like this guy!Lovecraft: he doesn't care WHOSE toes he steps on!

Truesdale: that's right here at tangent online we're cutting through short fiction reviews like a blade through a starTruesdale: some reviewers consider subtext and meaning in their reviewsTruesdale: but we think reviews should really focus on summarizingTruesdale: its about ethics in short fiction reviewing

Truesale: here's my review for HP Lovecraft's Call of CthulhuTruesdale: so there's something called CthulhuTruesdale: and he makes a callTruesdale: this story is really bad at describing stuff btwTruesdale: 2/5 stars

Truesdale: so here's my review of Stephen King's ItTruesdale: first of all, i don't like that the title is a pronounTruesdale: that seems suspiciously wokeTruesdale: 2/5 stars

Truesdale: Stephen King's IT is apparently about a clown that apparently lives in the sewers.Truesdale: which is weird, because i don't think clowns usually live in sewers.Truesdale: usually you find clowns in a circusTruesdale: in conclusion, Stephen king is a land of contrasts

Truesdale: here's my review for edgar allen poe's The RavenTruesdale: the raven is a poem about a birdTruesdale: i didn't read all the way to the end, but i think i basically got the gistTruesdale: poe is writing about how awesome ravens are and how much he loves ravens

Poe: wellPoe: while it is true that i love ravens and think that they're awesomeBarker: yeah yeah edgar we all know how much you like gripPoe: did you know grip can talk??Barker: yes we know edgarPoe: she can say "hallo old girl"Barker: yes edgar we know

Poe: but, in actuality, the poem 'The Raven' is not about how i love ravensTruesdale: c'mon man i don't have time to read subtext, i'm a busy reviewerPoe: it's not subtext!Poe: it's text!

Truesdale: anyway continuing my reviewTruesdale: the poem 'the raven' contains poetic devices, like rhymesTruesdale: here are some other words that rhymeTruesdale: coryTruesdale: storyTruesdale: allegory

Truesdale: if you like poems about birds, i guess you might like itTruesdale: i didn't really get itTruesdale: but one thing is for sure and that is 'The raven' is definitely a poemTruesdale: 2/5 stars

Truesdale: here's my review for mary Shelley's FrankensteinTruesdale: so i didn't really retain a lot of information after reading this oneTruesdale: there was a monster named Frankenstein in it thoTruesdale: that's one thing that i am absolutely 100% certain ofTruesdale: is that the monster was named frankenstein

Truesdale: here's my review of Bram Stoker's DraculaTruesdale: this book is a about a vampireTruesdale: so i don't know why stoker decided to call it DraculaBram Stoker: Dracula is the name of the vampireTruesdale:Truesdale: well you could have made this less confusing you know