Midnight Pals: How'd he do that (Patreon)

Lovecraft: hey everyone i've got exciting news! Lovecraft: i'm gonna be collaborating on a story with harry houdini! King: harry houdini the famous magician and escape artist? Lovecraft: yes! Lovecraft: yes that harry houdini!

Lovecraft: and i know what you're all thinking Lovecraft: i was worried about it at first too Lovecraft: but it turns out that harry houdini is just a stage name Lovecraft: he isn't even really italian at all!

Barker: oh yeah? what's his real name then? Lovecraft: oh i didn't think to ask Lovecraft: what is your real name harry? Houdini: Erik Weisz Lovecraft: Lovecraft: Lovecraft: [sweats]

Lovecraft: i'm going to write a story about this one time that harry escaped from a pyramid full of mummies! Lovecraft: and i'm gonna call it Lovecraft: escape to the house of mummies Lovecraft: part 1!

William Hope Hodgson: [chugging barrel of vitamin supplements] boo! hiss! boo! Houdini: you got a problem, pal? Hodgson: [injecting nootropics] that's right, pipsqueak! Hodgson: [guzzling protein powder] why you're so puny i'd hit you but you might dry up and blow away!

Hodgson: if you're so hot, then why don't you face me in a physical challenge? Hodgson: i've got my own set of manacles right here Hodgson: i bet you can't escape MY bonds, you four stone apology!

Houdini: i accept! Hodgson: ok also if you lose, you have to donate money to my gym Hodgson: the william hope hodgson's Atomic-Powered Power Blaster's Juicin' Joint and Alpha Wolf Lion's Den for Top Dogs (slogan: Juice yourself thin!)

Hodgson: here, put on these handcuffs Houdini: hey, wait a minute Houdini: these aren't regulation handcuffs Hodgson: "wah wah wah these aren't regulation handcuffs" what are you, some kind of homosexual beta male girly man pussy baby cuck?

Poe: william! you can't talk that way to harry houdini! Poe: i'm sorry harry he gets this way sometimes Poe: when he's had a few too many protein shakes Hodgson: [noises of manly rage] UUUUURGHHGGGHGHHH!!!

[several hours later] Houdini: hey can we take a break Hodgson: so you give up? Houdini: no i mean i'm calling a time-out Hodgson: you can't do that! Hodgson: you have to forfeit! Poe: come on william he's been at it for hours King: yeah c'mon man be reasonable Hodgson: NO!! THOSE ARE THE RULES!!

Houdini: fine! i'll just continue [hours pass] Houdini: ta da! and i'm free! Houdini: harry houdini does it again! Lovecraft: wow! Lovecraft: how DOES he do that? Lovecraft: they should call you harry how'd he do that- Houdini: yes we've already been over that, howard

Hodgson: fake! how'd he even do that when he's so short, huh? Poe: you know what, william, maybe you should just slip out the back Poe: quietly Poe: for your own safety Poe: the crowd's kinda getting agitated Hodgson: oh, you all think you can take me? Hodgson: I will beat each and every one of you!