Midnight Pals: Another Row (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures]JK Rowling: hello childrenRowling: did you all see my tweet?Allison Bailey:Helen Joyce:Kathleen Stock:Rowling: i am sstill tweeting my the wayRowling: don't think you can sstop paying attention

Rowling: i really don't undersstand why no one is around to ssee my tweetss anymoreRowling: it'ss like everyone'ss jusst left twitter or ssomethingRowling: which of coursse would be ridiculoussRowling: i mean why would people do that?Rowling: it's just finally sstarting to get good on there

Joyce: forgive us, oh dark lord!Rowling: what? how could you misss itRowling: your whole job is to like my tweetss!Rowling: you can't jusst leave me vulnerable!Rowling: what if the transs ssteal my likess again?

Rowling: i need each and every one of you AT THE READYRowling: to like ANY tweet i makeRowling: to counteract the transss sstealing my likessRowling: also have you heard what they're doing to the sssoil?

Rowling: anywayRowling: my tweetStock: yes yes dark lord tell us of the tweet!Rowling: wellRowling: ssomeone asked "what three actorss instantly ruin a movie for you?"Rowling: and i ssaidRowling: "i could name three!"

Rowling: hahaha!Stock: masterful gambit oh dark lord!Bailey: masterful gambit!Joyce: masterful!

Rowling: now thenRowling: sssince ssome of youRowling: and i won't name namesss hereRowling: haven't been ssspending time on twitter for ssome unfathomable reasssonRowling: i'll have you all know that twitter EXPLODED at my cryptic tweetRowling: i am quite the big wheel over there

Rowling: my importanssse on twitter really cannot be overssstatedRowling: as this headline in the reputable british newssspaper "The St. Crumpingtonon-the-Fritz Daily Bograg" would indicateRowling: "WOT A SCORCHER!! MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD JK ROWLING ATWITTER IN TWITTER ROW!!!"

Rowling: get it? i'm ssshitting on Daniel radliffe, Rupert grint and emma WatsssonRowling: but you know i'm being coy about itRowling: it's a very cool thing for an adult to do

Rowling: as you know, they were in the harry potter filmsss when they were kidsssRowling: and that meansss, legally ssspeaking, i own them for lifeRowling: and, i'll have you know, the britisssh pressss agreess with me

Rowling: i can't believe that Radcliffe, grint and Watson DARE ssspeak against me!Rowling: it's almossst as if they believe they have SHOULD HAVE A RIGHT to hold their own opinionsss!Rowling: well, let me tell you another group of people who think they should have rightsss…

Rowling: boo! hissss!Rowling: just as i decry the autonomy of transss youth, ssso too do i decry the autonomy of kid harry potter actorssStock: i think they're adults now, oh dark lordRowling: what?Rowling: ohRowling:Rowling: wellRowling: just as i decry the autonomy of transs AD