Midnight Pals: just bad shit (Patreon)

[at a scottish castle]JK Rowling: finally! the frivolouss lawssuit i funded has finally sstripped transs women of all rightssRowling: this callss for a celebrationRowling: [puts on record]Record: ceeeelebrate good times 🎶Rowling: i will

Rowling: finally i've achieved my goalRowling: total immunity for policce to grope womenRowling: it wass a difficult journey but i sstuck to my principlessRowling: here i sstand, i can do no other

Rowling: ssome might ssay, "but joanne, doessn't thiss affect ssome ciss women too?"Rowling: "you know, the women who matter"Rowling: but c'monRowling: they don't matter that much

Rowling: look, if women don't want to be groped by the policeRowling: they should just do what i doRowling: be really rich and live in a scottish castle

Rowling: already women across britain can resst eassier knowing that genital enforcement is finally here[meanwhile]Bobby [encountering a busty nurse played by Barbara Windsor]: oy whats all this then? i best put my hands down this bird's trousers to ascertain the nature of the disputed genitals. Bobby: [crossing eyes at camera] FWUHHHHH!!!Rowling: now all the people i alienated with my relentlesss obsessssion will beat a path to the door of my scottish castle to apologizeRowling:Rowling:Rowling:Rowling: any moment now

Rowling: check it outRowling: i'm here, sssmoking a big cigarRowling: enjoying a sssnifter of brandyRowling: like i jussst don't give a fuckRowling: real cool guy hoursss

Julie Bindel: oh dark lord! your cigar and brandy photo made you look so totally cool and very feminist!Rowling: that'ss rightBindel: just like noted feminist thinker davis aurini!Rowling: good, that'ss the look i wass going for

Rowling: i feel like the vibe issn't quite right thoBindel: what if you wore a fedoraRowling: close but sstill not rightBindel: you could subtly place a skull in the backgroundRowling: now you're talking!

Julie Bindel: but dark lord i don't understandBindel: i still feel so lonely and unfulfilledBindel: you would think that my work toward the eradification of a persecuted minority would make me popularBindel: but for some reason people don't want to hang out with me

Bindel: i'm just so lonelyRowling: well the important thing iss that you don't posst about it onlineRowling: you don't want to give fodder to our enemiessBindel:Rowling: did you already posst itBindel: umRowling: goddamnit julieRowling: that'sss a total glinner move