Midnight Pals: Maine (Patreon)

JA Johnstone: Submitted for the approval, I call this the tale of the blue state bloodsuckers invading real america JA Johnstone: they ruined the blue states with their nanny state nattering JA Johnstone: now antifa supersoliders are going to execute all the small business owners in the town square

JA Johnstone: they're coming from blue states to loot and rape Clive Barker: oh yeah? who exactly is coming? JA Johnstone: you know JA Johnstone: JA Johnstone: you know HP Lovecraft: i think i know Barker: no no howard Barker: i want him to say it

JA Johnstone: they're coming from bad states full of ACLU donors and K hivers JA Johnstone: states like JA Johnstone: maine Stephen King: WHOA King: WHOA King: WHOA King: you best walk that back, JA

Poe: steve, calm down, it's ok King: you listen to me King: my mother was percival p baxter and my father was the permaquid point lighthouse King: I eat Susan Collins and I shit whoopie pies! King: there is lobster bisque in these veins! King: i AM maine!

JA Johnstone: i'm just saying that maine is a bad state Johnstone: full of liberals Johnstone: if you know what i mean King: i would have voted for obama a third time!!! King: come at me, bro!

King: you come at the the king, you best not miss! King: get it? cuz i'm stephen king Poe: yeah that's good Barker: wow steve even in the midst of a literal fist fight you're gonna stop for dad jokes, i love it Barker: steve's gonna steve

Poe: i can't believe steve's gonna fight JA johnstone for the honor of maine Poe: this is the biggest interstate conflict since Dennis Etchison and Robert E Howard had that argument about In n Out vs 5 Guys

JA Johnstone: come at me Wiliam W Johnstone: that's my boy! King: i will take you down! don't like that just because i'm a lovable goof that I won't throw down for maine! JA Johnstone: yeah but would you JA Johnstone: [removes mustache] hit a girl??? William W Johnstone: that's my girl!

King: w-wait you were actually a girl the whole time? JA Johnstone: that's right! JA Johnstone: and no one knew because i cleverly avoided ever using pronouns JA Johnstone: which, by the way, are liberal woke mind virus political correctness gone mad JA Johnstone: see, i walk the walk