Midnight Pals: Anytown Problems (Patreon)

William W Johnstone: tonight, my nephew is going to help me tell a story JA Johnstone: you bet, unca will! Stephen King: aw isn't that cute? King: i remember the first time i had joe help me tell a story King: anyone want to see a picture of my boy joe? King: spitting image of his old man, he is!

William W Johnstone: go right ahead, JA, tell the story like we discussed Johnstone: i'll be right here if you need me Johnstone: writing 12 simultaneous new potboilers Johnstone: and some of them are about cowboys!

JA Johnstone: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the small town beset by unspeakable evil King: like a clown? JA Johnstone: what King: a clown JA Johnstone: King: oh sorry i see the confusion King: i don't mean a regular clown King: i mean like an evil one

JA Johnstone: no it's beset by a real evil that exists in real life, a danger destroying the good decent small towns all across this great nation of ours JA Johnstone: of course, i speak of JA Johnstone: liberals JA Johnstone: sorry i mean LIEberals William W Johnstone: that's my boy!!

JA Johnstone: Anytown USA was just like any good town in REAL america JA Johnstone: with white picket fences, a greasy spoon that served ice cold beer to hard-working red blooded retired police and retired army rangers, and a church JA Johnstone: UNTIL the invasion of the blue state bloodsuckers

JA Johnstone: they came from ALL the bad states JA Johnstone: COMMIEfornia JA Johnstone: TAXsachusetts JA Johnstone: GENDER NEUTRAL BATHROOM York

King: "gender neutral bathroom york?" JA Johnstone: yeah sorry that one doesn't scan too well JA Johnstone: i was trying to think of a pun that indicated new york was full of weirdo foreign degenerates whose loyalty to america is questionable and i just couldn't think of a one

JA Johnstone: i mean, i just can't think of a pun to indicate new york is full of a certain kind of person i find innately disreputable HP Lovecraft: i can think of one Poe: howard stop JA Johnstone: i'm just stumped Lovecraft: i can help!

JA Johnstone: anytown USA used to have a beautiful public golf course where ordinary folks could play golf! King: such a thing exists? JA Johnstone: well, not anymore! JA Johnstone: it was bought and privatized by masked antifa thugs JA Johnstone: you know, as they do