Midnight Pals: Rapture (Patreon)

Judith Sonnet: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of psych ward bluesSonnet: it's about what if god was an insane monster who hates his creationDean Koontz: nuh uh that's not true, god is niceSonnet:Poe: dean, let her finish

Sonnet: it's a beautiful day, birds chirping, sun shiningSonnet: lovers are strolling in the parkSonnet: telling each other how much they love each otherSonnet: in fact, things are so pleasant that it would be ironic if something BAD suddenly happenedKing: oh noBarker: oh yes

Sonnet: so in the midst of this tranquil sceneSonnet: young Cuthbert Gooch was enjoying an ice cream coneSonnet: just a smudge of ice cream smeared on his face like the adorable moppet he wasSonnet: feeding a squirrelSonnet: and chuckling to himself as he thought about how much he enjoyed being aliveSonnet: "i love being alive and breathing and respirating," he thoughtSonnet: "nothing beats this"

Sonnet: and thenSonnet: all of a sudden his chest exploded and his soul blew right out of his bodySonnet: viscera everywhereSonnet: so much visceraSonnet: all over the floorSonnet: and the cashier is all "sir you can't explode here, this is a wendys"

Dean Koontz: noooo that's not how it goes!Barker: "Cuthbert Gooch?"Koontz: your soul passes through you peacefully!Koontz: like a ghost!Barker: "Cuthbert Gooch?"Sonnet: what? its a normal nameSonnet: all my characters have normal names

Sonnet: all over the world, people are explodingSonnet: cuz its the raptureSonnet: and the thing is there's no heaven or hellSonnet: we all go to the same place afterwardsSonnet: and boy does it suck

Sonnet: just imagine being tortured for all eternitySonnet: just constantly flayed and disemboweled and disembrained and split and railed and choppedBarker: yeah sounds real badBarker: haha i'm kidding that would ruleSonnet: maybe in theorySonnet: but in real lifeBarker: no no i could take itBarker: i'm built different

Sonnet: these survivors in a psych ward are trying to find out what happenedSonnet: an angel contacts them via the computerSonnet: the angel's all "hey real sorry about all this"Sonnet: "kind of a little problem in heaven, see"Sonnet: "god's gone just a little bit mad"Sonnet: "he's like a mad god now"Koontz: maybe god should be in a psych wardKing: wow from the mouths of babes

Koontz: nooo! that's not how it happens!Koontz: steve tell her that's not how it happensKing: dean do you remember when i told my revival storyKoontz: noooooKoontz: i didn't like that one :(Poe: can you all please stop upsetting dean?Poe: we're going to have so much trouble getting him to sleep tonight