Midnight Pals: Anti-woke campfire (Patreon)

King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the clown that lived in the sewers Dan Simmons: i've had enough of you and your wokescold cultural marxist oppression King: Simmons: help help i'm being oppressed by your wokescold cultural marxist oppression

Simmons: but now i've finally found a campfire for politically homeless free thinkers with maverick points of view Simmons: and the most interesting thing about this anti-woke campfire Simmons: is that its in a place where you wouldn't normally expect an anti-woke campfire

Simmons: no longer will I be forced to conform to your narrow-minded PC narrow mindedness Simmons: i can give free rein to the dangerous thoughts that you blue-haired social warriors find so threatening Simmons: thoughts like Simmons: "won't someone rid me of this turbulent greta thunberg"

Simmons: goodbye forever, wokies! you won't be seeing me again! Simmons: i'm off to a campfire where free thinking is celebrated Lovecraft: wow! what's it like? Simmons: oh it's so cool Simmons: it's like if the thule society was populated by a bunch of tucker maxes

Lovecraft: can i come? Simmons: hmmm i don't know Simmons: are you a fearless truth teller unafraid to tweak the noses of the PC establishment? Lovecraft: well Lovecraft: i am racist against all minorities Simmons: hmm Simmons: you do make a strong case for membership

Simmons: sorry howard i've reviewed your application & i'm afraid i have to reject you from the anti-woke campfire Lovecraft: what?! but why? Simmons: your character witness says you're ONLY as racist as the average man of your time

Simmons: we're looking for people with exceptional achievements in racism Simmons: some real gold star racists Simmons: real innovators in the field of racism Simmons: and, sorry, but this is some basic bitch racism Lovecraft: i can change! Simmons: sorry howard

Simmons: i was considering admitting you Simmons: some of these racist bonafides seemed pretty convincing Simmons: but then "deep cuts in a lovecraftian vein" added context Lovecraft: ugh!! they're always adding context and ruining my fun!! Lovecraft: curse that shifty Italian yegg!

[anti-woke campfire] curtis yarvin: welcome to the anti-woke campfire Yarvin: to prove your allegience to anti-woke, first you must give the osculum infame to this graven image of peter thiel Yarvin: then you must forsake all worship of the anomalous woman greta thunberg

Big Ball Burritos: so then i realized if i work at the gas station, i can gas up my camaro for free Roxxxane Mengele-von Ribbontropf: [rolling the worst joint you've ever seen in your life] that's so hot Dan Simmons: finally! my intellectual peers!