Midnight Pals: Weapons (Patreon)

Zach Cregger: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the weapons Cregger: it's just out in theaters! Cregger: so if you care about spoilers maybe stop reading Cregger: i mean, seriously Cregger: don't get mad at me Cregger: i'm not even the real zach cregger

Cregger: the first thing i want to say is that i love gryllos pickles! King: Lovecraft: Koontz: Barker: Poe: is that part of the story? Cregger: no it's a personal declaration of love Cregger: [eating pickle] yes! YES!!! Cregger: they're even better when you're an internet microfiction caricature!

Cregger: so this is a story about kids who mysteriously disappear in the night Cregger: they move in a weird way Cregger: kind of like they were weaponized Cregger: in the same sense that a feral person living in your basement is kinda like a barbarian Jordan Peele: you're a whiz with titles, zach!

Cregger: this story is told from multiple perspectives Koontz: ooo like roshambo! Cregger: King: actually dean King: i think you mean rashomon Koontz: oh Cregger: yeah Cregger: yeah not really like that tbh

Cregger: like, from the perspective of the teacher, a parent, a cop, the principle, & a random dirtbag junkie Mary Shelley: hold up Shelley: who's this junkie Shelley: i love him already Barker: yeah he's fun! Poe: let's have more of him Koontz: i like him Cregger: Cregger: i was not expecting this

Cregger: the cop is worried because he was caught on camera assaulting the dirtbag junkie and there might be consequences George Romero: ha! as if! Romero: why would any cop be afraid of that? Romero: explain that to me Cregger: because its a work of fiction Romero: Romero: oh Romero: fuckin ACAB!!!

Cregger: but we all know what the scariest thing of all is Cregger: what if there was an old woman with too much make-up Barker: oh shit Poe: that is scary! Lovecraft: [sweats] i'm hyperventilating King: like, how much make up? Cregger: like a clown's amount of make-up King: ok yeah that's p scary