Midnight Pals: The Kids Ain't Alright (Patreon)

TL Bodine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight society, I call this the tale of children in perilStephen Gresham: no!John Saul: YES!

Saul: i love stories with reckless child endangerment!Barker: yeah that's trueBarker: hard to think of anyone who likes them morePoe: except roaldBarker: yeah except roald

Roald Dahl: how many children die in this storyDahl: oo i hope it's a lotDahl: nasty nasty little rotten childrenDahl: never do as they're told

Bodine: there's this poor couple and they have two childrenBodine: but they can't afford to keep themBodine: so they take them into the woods and abandon themBarker: this sounds familiarAngela Carter: shut up, let her cook

Bodine: so they abandon them in the woodsBodine: but it turns out there's a whole society of feral children thereBodine: cuz people just keep abandoning children thereBodine: you know how it is

Bodine: people have a kid as an easter present and then 2 weeks later they realize it's actually too big a responsibilityBodine: so they flush it down the toiletBodine: in the sewer, the kids grow to massive sizesBodine: it's a real problem

Bodine: what if an alien brood parasite took over your wombBodine: and you gave birth to an awful baby that gets bigger but never grows up?Bodine: kind of like bobo and lil debbul from nothing but trouble

Bodine: now you're stuck with a weird baby that just grows and growsBodine: but it's still just a babyEdward Gorey: beastly!

Bodine: that would sure test the limits of your selfless parental love, don't you think?King: i was in that exact situation, actuallyBodine:King: but i still love my large adult son owenBodine:Bodine: that's not what i mean

Bodine: what if you were at camp and there was a monster?RL Stine: classic premise, classicBodine: but here's the twistBodine: it was a fat campKing: a fat camp??

King: boy, i don't know how i feel about thisKing: maybe if it was a fat camp where fat boys lose weight and prove their worthBodine: the heroines are fat girlsKing: oh i don't like that at allKing: there's no redemption for that

King: is the monster actually the health risks of obesity?Bodine: what? no!King: cuz you knowKing: being fat is unhealthy

Bodine: actually it's about how a group of fat teens, underestimated by adults because of their size, use ingenuity and cunning to fight back and save themselves from being eaten by a monsterKing:King: ok yeah but you know being fat is unhealthyMeg Elison: i am going to fucking kill you steve

King: why would anyone want to read a story about fat people?King: i just don't get itKing: cuz being fat is unhealthyKing: especially for girlsBodine: is he always like this?Poe: yes pretty much