Midnight Pals: Monster (Patreon)

Ryan Murphy: hey horror fans it's me ryan murphyIan Brennan: and I'm ryan murphyMurphy: and together we'reMurphy: no wait I'M ryan murphyBrennan: no no you're ian brennanMurphy:

Murphy: ok wait i prepared for thisMurphy: [looks at hand, on which is written 'You are Ryan Murphy']

Murphy: ok horror fans so it's meMurphy: reasonably sure i'm ryan murphyKing:Poe:Barker:Lovecraft:Koontz:Murphy: look this isn't easy for a man without object permanence, okay???

Murphy: you know me as the man behind classic horror shows like American Horror Story and ratchedMurphy: cuz you know nothing is scarier than perfectly coifed 1950s ladies with fire engine red lipstickMurphy: this time i'm tackling the ed gein storyMurphy: so i'm real excited for some perfectly coifed 1950s ladies with fire engine red lipstick

Murphy: so anyway we invented a made-up trans backstory for ed geinMurphy: but don't worryMurphy: we were real careful to make sure it's not transphobicMurphy: you can definitely trust me, the creator of nip/tuck, to handle this topic sensitivelyMurphy: or my name isn't ian brennan!Murphy: no wait i mean ryan murphy

Murphy: what if we had Christine Jorgensen tell ed gein he has autogynephilia?Thomas Harris: ho ho ho ryan my boy you've done it again!Murphy: actually i'm ian brennanMurphy: no waitMurphy:Murphy: yeah actually that's right I'm ian brennanMurphy:Murphy: …or am I???

Murphy: now i may not have object permanence or the ability to retain memories in any shape or formMurphy: but one thing i know for sure is that the only way to stop the autogynephilesMurphy: is to require prolonged psychological assessment to determine whether someone is pretty enough to transitionMurphy: that's how you tell the trans apart from the autogynephiles by the way

Murphy: like, we need to keep transition behind a metaphorical gateMurphy: and psychiatrists could, like, keep that gateMurphy: almost like gatekeepersMurphy: medical gatekeepersMurphy: this is gonna go over real well

Koontz: what's autogynephilia?Murphy: it's like being trans except evilMurphy: it's a very scientifically sound and not at all debunked theoryKoontz: wow, i'm learning so much!Barker: actually dean you're notBarker: you're actually dumber now for hearing this

Koontz: who's Christine jorgensen?Franz Kafka: she was the first trans woman to be widely publicly known in the US for undergoing a sex change operationKafka: she went on to be a famous actress, singer and trans activistKoontz: wow, franz!Koontz: you sure know a lot about her!Kafka: yeah well i just think she's interesting